What would you do if your partner was obese? would you give him 6 months to lose the weight and then leave or

Answer 1

If you cannot accept him/her that way, tell the person that, and then do him/her a favor and leave now, because an obese person has an emotional illness, beyond food, and it's an illness that is not going to be solved by giving that person an ultimatum. What they need is understanding and help to solve their addiction, not someone who is grossed out by them. If you would leave him or her at the end of six months you might as well leave now, because obesity is a disease, and needs medical and emotional attention given to it. If they can't get the help, and don't have the desire to get the help on their own, you're going to end up leaving in six months anyway, trust me. So don't waste both of your time. Just leave now.

Answer 2

I wouldn't wait for my partner to become obese. Some may call me insensitive, but I think most are actually the opposite. People have become too sensitive. Obesity is a huge problem in our society. Not only is it unattractive, but it is also very unhealthy. Do you really want to have a long term relationship with someone that is going to have health problems because they don't take care of themselves?

I know many people in their 40s that look just as fit as they were in their 20s. I've even met people in their 50s and 60s that were in great shape. I have made the commitment to keep myself in that type of shape for the rest of my life, and I'm not interested in a long term relationship with someone that isn't coming along for the same ride. I just can't imagine myself 20+ years from now being very fit and still being with someone that has given up on their body.

Answer 3

You need to understand why he is obese. If you start giving him ultimatums like that is sounds like you are saying. "I only love you if you are the way i want you to be - Keep fat and i will leave you." If he already has lack of confidence problems (and comfort eating etc. can be a sign of that) - not only will it not be a motivator for him but his confidence and belief in you will be destroyed maybe for good.

Why do you want him to lose weight - is it because you now find him physically less appealing or are you concerned about the health aspects? I imagine the latter - you must be concerned for him rather than just about him. Is your husband aware of your concerns? Is he aware of the multitude of problems he may face if he does not do something about his weight? If both you and he are concerned about the same things and both working towards the same goals you can be supportive towards him and he is likley to do something that will work.

Does he refuse to face up to the fact that there is a problem? If so then I think you will have to enlist other people to help bring home the facts that being overweight go hand in hand with severe health probelms and even early death. Try to get together with other family members who are also concerned with your husbands health and present a united and supportive front.

I guess he is more in need of guidance, support and help (even if he refuses to believe he needs it atthe moment) rather than ultimatums.

Answer 4

What if your partner decided you were stupid or ugly or didn't make near enough money? How would you like a 6 month ultimatum to fix it or they'd leave? You wouldn't. Ultimatums don't work and are selfish and childish. Why not be an adult for a change? Sit down, talk it over, provide encouragement, help the person, tell the person how their weight affects you emotionally.

Answer 5

If my partner was obese then I'll help through thick and thin to lose all this weight. I wouldn't leave him or give him an automatuim to lose it within 6 months or I'd leave. It horrrible, would, what if the situation was reverse? Besides, those that are overweight are nicer and than those that are thin and slim.

Answer 6

I'd try to find out if and why he's unhappy. Ten years ago, my dad told my mum he didn't find her attractive anymore. She was really thin when she met him and over the years put on a lot of weight. That did absolutely nothing for her self-esteem and she hasn't changed it since. What she needs is to change her whole approach to food - she doesn't know how to eat well or healthily. What she also needs is a partner who loves her, rather than someone so insensitive as to have told her that. Someone who also encourages her in other areas of her life - and joins her by eating healthily - taking the lead with cooking etc. Maybe your partner needs the same.

Answer 7

help him lose weight, speaking as someone who is above average weight, with no partner, I just need a reason, he has to want to, if you give him that ultimatum, he may just leave you. He isn't likely to be happy with the situation, but when it comes to choices often it just takes a question before asking, "do I need this much food" if you are there to encourage then it helps. Exercise without much reward, stop drinking, eat fruit and veg, find something he loves that has not got much fat in it. Anything except the ultimatum.

Answer 8

I would try to help them follow a diet and exercise plan. I would stop bringing junk food into the house (and eating it in front of them) and suggest fitness related activities that we could do together.
The main thing would be whether or not my partner was making an effort to change. If he simply came home from work each day and plopped on the couch with a beer and chips, I would probably get fed up pretty quickly.

Answer 9

it takes longer than 6 months to lose weight, so putting that pressure on your partner will not work,
why not help by buying more fruits and vegetable and better foods and dont go to any fast food and exercise. do this same thing with your partner, if your partner sees you doing this also you both will be healthy together.
go for walks and then work up to jogging and then finally running.
ride bikes,
exercising and eating right takes a team effort and lots of encourgement, not ultimatums!!!!

Answer 10

I would help him lose weight so he would feel confident about himself and i wouldn't think by any chance of leaving him. Why did you anyway choose him as a partner if you just want his looks?!...If you really love him you wouldn't just leave him because he's obese...you should even help him to lose weight and live a healthy life!!! okay?!?!...don't pressure him...HELP HIM!!!