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I'm married for almost 4 yrs now & have 2.5 yr old son. Since we are married my wife and I had good number of querrels which involves heated disucssions, her parents involvement, blaming my mother for some problems etc. Everytime we have a fight the situation is getting worse. She's not communicative and never tries to understand my feelings and thoughts. Everytime she tries to put the blame on me/my mother as if its all our mistake and she's innocent.

For our child sake I don't want to enter into separation as I'm a family person.

My mother also feels the same way and never tried to interfere in our relation and very affectionate to my wife. But inspite of all such efforts my wife is not reciprocating to her which eventually hurts me.

Suggest me what to do to save my marriage and change the attitude of my wife or myself.

2006-07-13 23:30:29 · 14 answers · asked by helpmeout 2 in Family & Relationships Family

14 answers

keep your mothers away!!!

you didn't marry your mom or hers.
she didn't marry her mom or yours.

leave them out of it.

she might have jeallousy issues with the relationship you have with your mom. and vise versa.

my mom lives 800 miles away and my husbands mom died about 4 years ago. we have none of these problems. then again, we waited to get married. (37 and 44)

2006-07-14 03:33:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I will assume there is an age difference here.

1) Give her time to mature a little, If she's under 25 she may have a couple years to go.

2) Get counceling BEFORE considering seperation.

3) Let her win some arguments, Concede, You don't always have to be right. And trying to be is probably extending these disagreements into full blown fights. Sometimes a simple "ok honey" can work a lot of magic.

2006-07-13 23:37:28 · answer #2 · answered by lovpayne 3 · 0 0

You have a pretty bad situtation. Definitely do the counseling thing. Give it a year if no results. Then do a trial separation. Save your money and be prepared for this. Your situation is very similar to mine. She may need to see you mean business thats what the trial separation is about. Also it will give you a glimpse of what life can be like without her. She may be taking you for granted and she needs to know what its like without you. If I had the hindsight I can now give I would be a happier man today. Don't do the same mistake I did. Our situations are too much alike its almost scary.

2006-07-13 23:40:35 · answer #3 · answered by reklc1@yahoo.com 1 · 0 0

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2016-12-01 06:31:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

A major step would be a mutual agreement to keep your mother and your in-laws away from interfering in your private affairs. Solve your problems by yourselves with no external interference. Think of your young son first before committing anything foolish. A successful marriage entails mutual sacrifice from both parties. Wish you both a happy future with your beloved son.

2006-07-13 23:37:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well a parents interference in your life, is trouble some, trust me i have 4 kids and i have lived with my mother in law for the past 11yrs and things still arent good.... my hubby is what you call a mamas boy, and i still cant get him to leave, He thinks he owes his mom, and he will talk to her before he does to me, which i find is really crazy. I feel the prefect was that it should be is this, parents should leave us alone, call occasionly, I mean we all love are parents but do we have to see them everyday. Try counsuling or just talking to your wife before you discuss things with your mom. Because i know that really bothers me that my hubby cant come to me, he runs to mom!!!!! So dont do that it hurts.

2006-07-14 00:58:17 · answer #6 · answered by krista a 3 · 0 0

I would sit her down and ask her to go to couples counseling, at this point that is probably the only thing that can help you. She needs an outside source, someone that doesn't know either of you, to let her know what she is doing wrong, she may not see it until someone else points it out to her. Good Luck.

2006-07-13 23:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by nick m 4 · 0 0

Why is it your wife feels your mother is a part of your arguments.??? I'm only reading your version of the story.

Do you live with your parents????

You don't say what the heated arugments are about either. You're to vague for any further effort from me to respond to you.

2006-07-13 23:35:48 · answer #8 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0 0

ok first of all, I am not downplaying a mother/son relationship at all. It is great that you are so close to your mom, however, when you married your wife, you became part of her. That part of you needs to let go of your mother. You no longer need to seek your mother's input.

2006-07-13 23:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by madyx524 2 · 0 0

well i do not understand your wife at all... she should be trying to save your marriage to if she really loves you...and there is no way that she is innocent on everything...perhaps you should suggest going to a marriage counselor...or ask her does she want your marriage to work out...she may need to see a counselor to help her work some of her issues out....all you can to is try to be a good husband and father and your wife has to straighten things out herself.. find out if she wants to keep your marriage going... does she really love you,,, then she needs to go with you and find help for your marriage if she does...

2006-07-13 23:40:41 · answer #10 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0 0

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