I have 6 beautiful children, and I also have twins due any day. I want to be able to quit my job and stay home with my family, but we will become financially unstable, but I also don't want to have my daughter take care of two more infants. My oldest daughter, who is 17 takes care of my other 5 children from sun up to sun down. I don't want to put another burden on her, and my husband refuses to get a maid or daycare or anything. How should I go about dealing with this?
--I know that we should have thought about this earlier, but we weren't expecting twins...
2006-07-13 23:24:18 · 4 answers · asked by Reese DeRossi 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My husband does think that it is an easy job...the reason I am still have babies.
And it would most definitely be the same if the oldest was a male.
2006-07-13 23:36:02 · update #1
Wow! Have you thought about doing a home business to generate income and stay home with your children? I quit my job a year ago to stay home with my 2 children (now 2 & 4) and now work just 1 or 2 nights a week selling lia sophia jewelry. Not only is the income great, but I get to get out of the house and interact with women after spending wonderful days with my children. It's great because you set your own schedule. Your oldest would be able to spend more time being a teenager, and you could be the mom you want to be and generate an income as well. I hope you find something that will work for you and your family...we all do the best that we can with what we are faced with and it sounds like you have a super family!
2006-07-14 08:40:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
I quit my job a year ago to stay home with my children. (I have 3, including a set of twins) The money has been tight. We don't go out to eat very often, we wait for movies to be released on dvd, when our cars are paid off we'll keep driving them. I have not regretted it for a second. He didn't want me to quit; in fact, he's always wanted me to work full time (and take care of everything at home except the lawn) because he wants the money. But in a way, I think he's seen the positive side of me being home. Our house is cleaner, the kids are happier, I am happier, and he is happier. We are poorer financially, but richer spiritually. Also, your oldest daughter is going to rebel some day. Do you want her to resent you for years because she had no real childhood herself, raising her siblings? If she's 17, she may be gone soon anyways, then what will you do? Pass it along to the next in line? Those kids are not the responsibility of their older siblings. Tell your husband he will reap what he sows, literally and figuratively.
I had a difficult enought time with a three year old and newborn twins, and I was 28. How is a 17 year old going to handle it?
2006-07-14 08:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by Redbird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should your oldest child have to care for any of your children? She didn't have them. It's nice if she helps out or contributes every now and then, but it's not her responsibility simply because she's the oldest. Would you have the same expectation if the oldest was male? Beyond that, it's not realistic or reasonable to expect you (and your oldest daughter) to care for the rest of the family without assistance. Or, suggest that he quit is job and stay home with them since he seems to think it's easy to do without help.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com
2006-07-14 06:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit your job and face your responsibilties. Money won't raise your children in a loving, nurturing environment- only you can provide that. It will be hard to buy all those nice toys you buy out of guilt for not being there for your kids, but they won't need all those toys and fancy clothes if you are there to accompany them.
Yout eldest daughter needs to lead a normal adolescent life- the sooner the better- or she will forever blame you for her lost childhood/adolescence.
And, most importantly, after the twins are born, get an operation to prevent more disfunctional children overpopulating our world- don't take it personally- think about it! Haven't you ever watched Eight's Company! With eight kids you'll never be able to provide all of them with a proper education, therefore sentencing them to blue-collar labour to earn a couple of dollars a day and a life of misery---much like yours sounds!
A child needs a parent- not an older sibling telling them what to do! And your 17 year old is probably playing her loud music all day, talking to her friends on the phone, having her boyfriend over to help babysit, and who knows what other bad influence she is providing your 5 youngest!
Frankly I'm astounded there are still so many inconsiderate, uneducated and hopeless people on this planet! With the little extra spare time you'll have being a stay-at-home mum, do some research on child pyschology- especially about middle-child syndrom, large family syndrom and neglect! You'll be shocked to find how many similarities large families have to the Mason's.
"The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging."
I'm sorry if this seems rude, but I cannot get over the fact that you are only thinking of yourself and your needs over a child's evergrowing problems in today's society. Bush is desperately trying to kill off a good million young men and women with his war campaigns and yet people are giving him more dough to play with!
2006-07-14 06:55:43 · answer #4 · answered by canguroargentino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋