I'm eight month pregnant, and as I get closer to my due date the more I begin to worry about my son's father. He is irresponsible, and was arrested a few years back for molesting his younger siblings (a fact I didn't learn until after we broke up in febuary). He also has a history of being physically abusive...I'm worried about what he'd do to our child, and I don't want him to have any visitation rights at all. I live in oregon currently, but I'm a california native and I've been told the laws are very different, so I'd appreciate it if anyone could tell me if it's possible to have his rights taken away, or anything else that may help. Thanks.
2006-07-13 23:11:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I don't want to sound like an advocate of child molestors (I'm not), but you mention he was arrested, not convicted. If the case went to court he should have done time for it or at least be under the supervision of a parole officer 0 and you shoul dbe able to talk to them. They would be able to tell you if your fears are warranted or not.
In Oregon, if he is the father he will be given the right to see his child. But, since the age of the child will be such that the child can't tell you of molestation, you will find that it should be very easy to have the rights be granted with supervision. If he wasn't convicted, he may well be a jerk and you are well off to be on your own, but that won't be enough to have a court find in your favor.
No matter what, remember the court will be looking at 'the best interest of the child'. They, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that since children that don't know both parents have more problems than children in 'stable two parent homes' (Duh). Unfortunately this gets taken to mean that both parents need visitation.
Always think of how the courts will be look at things and you'll do fine.
2006-07-14 05:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by An Oregon Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
First of all, your ex sounds very unpredictable, so I am wondering if
he will even try to pursue custody or visit your child? It's possible that
he may not be able, or even willing, to pursue any kind of relationship
with your son.
Secondly, does he know you are pregnant? If not, perhaps it is in your
best interest to say nothing about the pregnancy and to fade out of
his life as quickly as you can. You can make up any excuse that you
wish, such as suggesting that you need to travel out of state to visit
an elderly relative, or some such thing. Better yet, don't say a word
and simply disappear from his life as soon as you can. Disappearing
may mean actually moving out of town or out of state.
Thirdly, you need to worry more if he is the controlling, "stalking,"
angry type of personality. Be on the alert if this is the case!
Lastly, if you find that he is pursuing custody or visitation after
you have your baby, by all means go to a social worker or a
psychiatrist and tell him/her your story, emphasizing that
you fear he will molest your son as he has apparently/reportedly
molested other children. The fact that he has been arrested for
molestation should be enough to ring the alarm bell in the ear of
most good professionals. When you take this step, by the way,
be sure that all other aspects of your home life are in order,
as you will be opening up to the possible scrutinyof state
social workers and other authorities. But this step will be
worth your while, and appropriate, if indeed you find that your
ex is trying to pursue visitation or custody.
Sometimes the courts will order "supervised visits" of a parent with
a child--I do not recommend that you pursue such an
arrangement, unless it is your only option. Also, if you are
thinking of pursuing child support from your ex, you may want
to think twice about that, as the child support issue may give
your ex a sense of entitlement. My advice on all of this should
not be considered the last word, and you most definitely should
speak to an a ttorney about these matters.
Good Luck and let me know how it goes!
Best Wishes,
LIsa Shetler, lisashetler@yahoo.com
2006-07-13 23:58:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa Shetler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some states have grandparent's precise....many don't. Visitation rights belong to the mothers and fathers of the toddler in straightforward terms. she won't get custody considering you will possibly could be declared an no longer worth mom and that's problematic to do.....as long via fact the BF isn't a danger to your toddler and has no criminal checklist, and your toddler's father has no subject concerns with this..the courts won't get entangled. She ought to attempt to sue for visitation rights yet while your state does not have grandparents' rights on the books with the intention to chat, she's dropping her money. betcha she pulled the comparable BS on the mummy(s) of the different 2 grand infants...did no longer circulate very some distance, did it. She's yanking your chain...forget approximately approximately it. Or tell your Ex and enable him cope along with his mom. Your terrific wager is to seek for suggestion from with a criminal professional basically so which you recognize what she will and would possibly no longer do Edit: the certainty that she's struggling with for visitation for one grandchild and ignores the different 2 could be reported if it ever is going in the previous a decide...it must be construed as unusual or enjoying favorites....or there's a reason she isn't allowed to make certain the different 2 infants and that is going to her wellbeing
2016-10-07 22:01:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak with a case worker or lawyer in your area. Who is helping you with your pregnancy? You can even get direction through your doctor. I am sure that it would depend on his age at the time of the crime, whether formal charges were made, his currect state of using drugs & alcohol, etc. Good Luk!
2006-07-13 23:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by whozethere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
report him if he trys anything and if you can vanish back home or move away do it secretly. I am not saying run and hide because he will look for you but sort it out with the courts first and then if he keeps turning up split the area. If you tell the police or courts about his history then they will surely favor you.
2006-07-13 23:21:03 · answer #5 · answered by Bren0 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself a lawyer...you can point out the charges that were laid against him, and see what they can do. You can make him prove that the baby you are carrying is his...make him pay for DNA testing. You really can't stop him from seeing his child if it is his. But you can try and arrange supervised visitatoin based on his previous actions.
2006-07-14 04:47:52 · answer #6 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you speak the truth...The criminal history and the nature of the crime may indeed assist you. Mention this to your legal counsel.
2006-07-13 23:17:56 · answer #7 · answered by D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess report it to the police and tell thm tht is is troubling u.
2006-07-13 23:14:59 · answer #8 · answered by gaurav_talkies 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he like having sex in the dustbin
2006-07-13 23:20:29 · answer #9 · answered by maddogcatharin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get another man than he will be jelous
glad i could help
2006-07-13 23:15:00 · answer #10 · answered by k-swiss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋