A man walks into a doctors office and puts a note on the table in front of the doctor. The note says: 'I can't talk, help me!'
The doctor thinks for a while and says to the man, "Put your dick on the table here."
The man thinks this is a bit weird but does as the doctor said anyway.
The doctor takes a rubber hammer (which is usually used to test someone's reflexes) and hits the poor man's dick with it as hard as he can.
The man cries in great agony, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....!"
The doctor just says, "Good, come again tomorrow and we'll learn B!"
2006-07-13 22:44:56 · 10 answers · asked by pureessence 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
The second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
"Well Doc, I can't swim!"
2006-07-13 22:45:03 · update #1
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual.
The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."
The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.
While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.
His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.
2006-07-13 22:45:20 · update #2
The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead!"
2006-07-13 22:45:36 · update #3
I know the last one but it's still funny. All 3 jokes are funny.
2006-07-13 22:52:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you that was awesome!!! Loved them, all 3 are 10/10 with clapping of hands.
2006-07-14 06:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by sunshine25 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First one was ok. The next two gave me good chuckle, though the last one wsa the better of the two.
2006-07-14 05:50:43 · answer #3 · answered by mac_guy_ver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st - 2/5
2nd - 3/5
3rd - 4/5
2006-07-14 05:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by Happy Alf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love it, love it absolutely loved it....all 3 but just as everyone i saying the third is the best...
2006-07-14 06:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by sevvy7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all gud. But last one awsome! lol
2006-07-14 07:37:30 · answer #6 · answered by katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahaha.....all 3 r really good...but da third one really rox.LOL
2006-07-14 06:03:52 · answer #7 · answered by meg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like the 3rd one :D lol
2006-07-14 05:51:12 · answer #8 · answered by RabbitHellFoxHeaven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AWESOME!
2006-07-14 05:52:08 · answer #9 · answered by police 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they were ok
2006-07-14 06:08:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋