I mean, how do you get over the fact that you were neglected and stop feeling bad about it?
2006-07-13 22:23:54 · 7 answers · asked by Cina 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Here are suggestions from my personal experience.
I am now very content with my life, and rarely feel the lacks from my childhood anymore. It was not a quick or easy journey, but it was well worth the effort.
1) Find a good counselor. If one doesn't seem to be a good fit, then try another. Once you find an appropriate counselor for your needs and personality, therapy can do wonders.
2) Read tons of self-help books, especially books on family dysfunction, toxic parents, and setting boundaries. Your local library is the best source, and anything they don't have themselves, they will borrow from another library for you.
3) Journal. Write daily if possible, about all your feelings, thoughts, fear, desires, the things you missed, how it affects you, what you wish you had ... nothing is taboo ... put it all down. This will help you process through the issues, and often helps you see things you can do for yourself or new paths to take.
4) Do nice things for yourself. Nurture yourself in the the way your parents did not. Learn to be a child. Do things that they would not allow (that are things a average parents would have) .... like for me ... it meant learning to touch things like items in a store ... respectfully and appropriately.
5) Assess how interactions with your parents and/or siblings affect you, and whether they are positive experiences or not. If they are not ... if contact with them makes you fearful, anxious, angry, sad ... then you may want to decide to spend less time with them. You might also practice setting some boundaries with them, which may or may not work. But if they refuse to respect your boundaries, then that means you spend less time with them.
6) Never forget that you are a wonderful person and it wasn't about you!! I wasn't YOUR fault!!!
Blessings!!!!
2006-07-17 15:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Therepy would be a start I guess. Hard to say exactly, theres no simple formula for emotional wellbeing. I come from a pretty dysfunctional/ neglectful family, (and have a degree in psychology,) and honestly all I can suggest is to stay focused on the future, not the past. Focus on the things that are good in your life and try to remain positive.
I know its not much but hope it helps.
2006-07-14 05:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there! Put it all on the back burner forget about it don't dwell on it it will only depress you. Or get with your relatives and share happy times you had in the past. Have your own children and show them what life is really all about and how to be a great parent!
2006-07-14 05:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by pinky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didnt come from that kind of family... but if ever i am... i wil see life on its positive side... move on with my life... setting a goal and achieved it at the same time... we should enjoy life... it is a gift from God
2006-07-14 05:29:45 · answer #4 · answered by boyang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
... get Joel Osteen's audio book on CD ... it's called YOUR BEST LIFE NOW ... listen to it everyday ... it's just the thing for you ... congratulations ... you're about to come into the light ...
2006-07-14 05:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by Santa's Helper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAVE NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH THEM, "DIVORCE" YOURSELF FROM THEM COMPLETELY AND FIND YOUR FUNCTIONAL "SPIRITUAL" FAMILY AMONG LIKE MINDED FRIENDS. PEACE, JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUR BLOOD... YOU OWE THEM... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. MY FRIEND WAS ABLE TO LEGALLY DIVORCE HIMSELF FROM HIS PARENTS IN A GERMAN COURT. GOOD LUCK.
2006-07-14 05:46:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in therapy because of mine.
2006-07-14 05:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋