me and my ex boyfriend had a relationship for a year and last month i was a total cow and ruined it. i dumped him and made him doubt me i was ill though and had exams. i have apologised and want to restart. he saying he loves me butnot how i wnat him to, not how he shud at the moment. he said he knows he should out it behind him but i have to understand his hurt (i do)he saying he thinks he will but cant promise anything. he needs itmre to figure it. arggh
2006-07-13 22:12:15 · 6 answers · asked by lola f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i want to know whether i can get the love of my life back. he did love me but is questioning it because of what ive done n im scared ive lost him because hes sooo detached
2006-07-13 22:18:07 · update #1
First of all you shouldn't act as you did, and give him time to think things through and to recover. Who are you to hurt anubody's feeling. Would you like someone to hurt your's? Of course not. Let this be a lesson for you, and hope that things will be OK.
John
2006-07-13 22:18:24 · answer #1 · answered by Scorpion 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing well: you've acknowledged the fault as your own: and that is a good thing.He has given his view on what happened, that's good too. Now, you will have to honor his request, and stand back. It's a pain; but you owe him that! And should he choose to let go, then - so be it. You might try expanding your expectations a little: life does not always run smoothly [understatement!] and you need to be with someone who can `take it' when things don't go the way you would want them to; so -think on that: someone who WANTS to share the load. And that, is where this falls down. You can't make someone WANT that kind of commitment. It must originate from them.
Good Luck with the outcome.
2006-07-14 05:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by Tash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to grow up some. He doesn't love you as you want him to? as he should? People are who they are, not how you want them to be. Do you love him? I doubt it. It seems that what you really want is to be with someone who loves you.
If you like him and he is willing to date you so that you can each get to know each other better. What is wrong with that? It is much better to be yourself and to let him be himself and then to see what happens.
Why did you dump him? Did you want to see if you could find someone better, found no one, and now you think he is better than no one? Because you say he has to get over his hurt; it sounds like he really cared for you and that when you dumped
him, he felt very hurt by this. One of the things that has happened
is that he has lost trust in you. Maybe it is good for him that he lost trust in you. Maybe you are not trustworthy. I don't say anything to try to criticize you. I don't know you. If you are a trustworthy person, in order for this guy to trust you again, you will have to show him by changed behavior over time, that you are a different girl/woman than you were when you dumped him.
After all, since he cared enough about you to feel hurt when you left him. If he opens his heart to you again and you dump him again, then he will be hurt again. It sounds like he is not stupid.
I hope this is a growing experience for you. If you and this guy are right for each other, I hope you will be happy. If you and he aren't right for each other, I hope you both learn from this experience so that you both will do better in your next relationship.
2006-07-14 05:58:23 · answer #3 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what...you are contradicting yourself.
You want him back but you question his love for you.
How about you don't get into the relationship until you KNOW he really loves you. If you keep questioning, you will jump into the relationship questioning, which will lead to a doubtful heart and you will RUIN the relationship once again, and he may never talk to you.
2006-07-14 05:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by uglyvanity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how u feel. what does he do. there r signarure trademarks men do at tymes like this, see if u can spot any. r they good or bad. whatever happens, good luck
2006-07-14 05:23:18 · answer #5 · answered by miki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you need help w/hun? could you be a little more specific?
2006-07-14 05:17:03 · answer #6 · answered by mlove1307 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋