do u blame ur parents for ur issues?confidance?

Question

relationship problems, self-confidence do u parents have anything to do with ur quality of life?

Answer 1

Trust me young ones 'cos I'm 53.Parents plays about 45% of D role in your up bringing. U hold D trump card-55%. U can make up 4 whatever shortfall be4 u grow old.

Answer 2

It is possible to be so smothered by your parents that you never have a chance to do anything yourself, or make decisions or for that matter even be able to have a relationship with someone because it was never permitted.
But I would not blame the parents, they are a product of their environment and upbringing, if they knew no better how would they have been able to do it, many times they are bound by tradition and family values.
I would tell you that you know what the problems were, now if you are strong enough to be out on your own, you just learn by trial and error, and do the best that you can. That is all anyone could ask of you.

Answer 3

Parents to a very large extent have a role to play in shaping one's live. A parent must lead by example for instance you don't teach your children not to smoke whereas you do smoke or not to drink excessively whereas you do exactly that. Our parents are our role models they shape our charcter to a very large extent but no is perfect in this world even if roles were to be interchanged and you get into your parents shoes and vice versa for them you would still make some mistakes like they would.
But if you can be able to raise a question like this it means you acknowledge you have a problem this is world we ever learning take steps to overcome the problem because nothing is reeeaaally impossible. If you keep blaming your parents know that if water was to pour on the ground it cannot recollected what you need is to move on and work on yourrelationship, selfconfidence because your parents might also not be responsible for your own failures you as person are person who is supposed to shape your own destiny as they shaped theirs. There is an adage that goes that you can take a goat to drink water but you can't force it. They might steered you in the right direction but due to the decision you made and your perception you seem to have got it all wrong.

Answer 4

YES. My mom always always always told me that it was my JOB to get good grades, go to college, then worry about guys. After years of hearing this, it has become drilled in my head. Sure, I love guys. But I never have the urge to date them. I think about it, but I never go through with it. And now I'm at the age where you actually have to DATE the guy, you can't be childish and just say "we're going out". Its difficult because I feel like i'm missing a step here. I never really learned what it was like to actually BE with someone when I was younger. Never really knew what it felt like to know that someone outside my family cared about me. And I'm a pretty normal girl...not fat or ugly. I have a good personality. I do blame my parents for holding me back in a way. I know that some people say that they are "adults now and should fix it themselves" but sometimes its JUST NOT that easy. The things you learn as a child stay w/you forever. The way you approach and respond to things. My parents never encouraged me to do anything. And because of that, I didn't become a band geek or track star. I'm not saying that I could have done well in band or sports even if I had tried. Its just those are the activities that you try when you are younger. Those are the things that build your self confidence, something which I lack. People tell me how wonderful I am and its like their words hit a wall. I dont' know what that means to be wonderful because I never learned how to love myself. I was too busy worrying about getting good grades, getting into college, and pushing guys aside.

Answer 5

Yes I did blame parents for my issues and confidence.
Then I realized that I am the only one who can change me.
I will never be able to change them. I can only change the way I react to them. Also I learned some prevention tools to deal with them. Avoid all subjects that irritate.
You can change YOUR quality of life. Make your generation that one that changes the family patterns.
If you are still at home. Stick it out unless you are being abused, then get help. Get an education. Then get a job and pull yourself out ot the hole that you feel your parents put you in.
And self confindence. fake it until you make it.

Answer 6

There are times I wanted to do that but it always dawn on me that that will be a cowardly way out. I am the one who is living my life here and now, so whatever mistakes I do, they cannot simply be blamed on my past and on the people I was with in my past. I was the one who made my decisions and I believe I live a good life now, because for whatever pains the people I cared for have made me go through as a kid, I just left them where they belong...in the past. No amount of blaming can undo our mistakes so why waste my energy on that?

Answer 7

hey some of you people (including the questioner) are ridiculous! unless you have a reaaaaaaaaally messed up family, why would you blame the parents?? and mr. indian-raised, life's not as bad as you advertise it to be.. i'm an indian girl raised here with many restrictions, but i'm not dead and i'm certainly not blaming them for stupidities i've committed...

when you think of others you can blame is when you're still a cowardly kid... it's when you take responsibility for what you do and how you do it that you grow up!

Answer 8

Frankly, I find people who blame others for how they view and treat themselves to be meek and suggestible.

I had a horrible childhood in which I was abused physically and mentally for 16 years, and not once did it get to me or cause me to crack. In truth, I look back at those years and think that without them I wouldn't have built myself to be who I am today. Everyone can do the same, unfortunately to many people give in to angst and pressure. Giving up before it's even begun.

Answer 9

definitly. i cannot have a healthy relationship with a guy because of what my dad did to my mother and my family.

and my mother used to be a beauty queen (as was my sister) and is still obsessed with the way she looks and her weight. if she ever thinks im getting fat, she puts a gate up at the kitchen door so i can't go in, or she will literally throw away all of the food in the house. to this day i constantly have weight and eating issues.

oh and also my mom and sis both have blue eyes and mine are just hazel and they are both blond and my hair is kind of dirty blonde and they always make me feel inadequate because of it.

Answer 10

you cannot ignore the influence of your parents on your life. But if you sit around an blame them for your problems, they you have a bigger problem. Parents are not the only factor.