parental advice?

Question

I myself am not a mom, but i do help to raise my 2 year old nephew. Ever since he turned 2 in March he has gotten into the habit of playing with his private parts when he's in the bath tub, my question is if this is normal? My mom and older sister (his mom) tell him that behavior is gross, but i fear that he will learn to think his body is gross if he is told that touching his genitalia, a part of his body obviously, is gross. Am i wrong to think that? Should i tell him touching hid genitals is bad and gross when i see him doing it? Or should i just let him? Is it normal behavior?

Answer 1

Although this behavior is normal in young children, a child needs to learn "appropriate vs. inappropriate". Instead of telling a child it is gross (which, as you pointed out, gives the child a negative sense of self worth and he will view his body as gross), a parent should just explain to the child that it is his private area and that it is not appropriate to do that in front of other people. Express to the child that behavior such as that is to be done alone, and not around others. Eventually that child will learn to "explore" when alone and it will be much easier to deal with.

Excessive "exploring" can be signs of other issues (health issues, such as itching etc.) and so the parents need to make sure it is just natural exploration and not excessive/obsessive exploration.

Answer 2

All he is doing is experimenting and discovering his body - it is completely normal! I have a boy who is now 4, and he went through a phase of touching himself, which he still does occassionally.

Please don't tell him it is gross or bad - it's not! It's completely natural! It's part of the learning process. If he doesn't start to discover these parts of his body now, he will be more curious later on. Let him do it, he's not being rude or dirty at all, he's just a baby still!

Answer 3

Your mother and sister are sending the wrong message by telling him what he is doing is gross....in fact it is normal for small children, especially boys to play with their genitals. My nephew is a year old and he is constantly putting his hand in his private area and has been doing so since he was about 8 months old.....it will pass eventually. Right now he is just getting used to his body and what he has in that area.

Answer 4

It's normal. And telling him it's gross isn't the way to fix it. Give him a bit, it'll get old after a while. Just tell him it's not appropriate to do in front of others. That it's his "private" area and he shouldn't show it to others. But he'll grow out of it. He's at the age now where he's discovered it all over again and is just curious. Don't freak out when he does it, or he'll just keep doing it because he gets a reaction. Acknowledge that he's done it, but in a nonchalant kind of way, then tell him to cover it up.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with him touching himself. It's his and it feels good to him and I imagine he is not ejaculating.

I think it is best to tell him that it is okay but he should not do it in front of people. You may need to school your mom and sister in the fact that he cannot see his parts as gross but private. It will be hard to get them to see since they are so engrossed with it being wrong. Good luck and intervene when you can, so he doesn't become uncomfortable with himself.

Answer 7

I know some kids that used to do it. Their mom's just took their hands out of their pants if they did it out of the tub. When in the tub put something else in their hands, like a bath toy. Just tell him not to touch his bottom, and that that is a no-no.If he keeps doing it then get your mad face and a stern look going on. Make his baths short if he continues, and try to distract him from touching when he is in the tub.
Gl!

Answer 8

its normal, and you shouldnt tell him its gross, cause its not. I mean, how else will he get it clean? If he only does it in the tub, it should be ignored, or hand him something else to play with. If he starts doin it in public than make it clear that its not ok to do. He'll understand the difference between bathtime and socail time.

Answer 9

This is a normal phase that all little boys go though. Just tell him that it is his "private part" and that he should not touch it in front of other people.

Answer 10

It's completely normal at that age. It's around that time when kids libidos get strong. Later it will nearly disappear, so don't do anything with that... not until he's a teen.