why do men tell you they want to be just friends and then turn around and a week later come over to your house to watch movies and hook up surrond sound and then ask you if you want to go to the bedroom as this happened to me last week. he says he does not want to ruin our friendship but now he acts like nothing has happened other then now he stares at me alot more at work(i work in a restaurant) what do i do? i am so confused. i like him more then a friend but he wont talk to me about anything really so how do i know what to say or do anymore with him? i want to tell him how i feel but he has told me already he is not ready for anything else right now. i would like to tell him...should i? but on the other hand i do not want to loose him as a friend. i would rather have him as a friend then nothing at all.. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!
2006-07-13 21:09:44 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he has been seperated for 7 years from his ex wife and has not had a relationship since he said once burned twice shy...but i am the first person he has slept with in 7 years.i know because his best friend is also mine.
2006-07-13 21:42:53 · update #1
Sounds like he is getting his cake and eating it too. Friendship with occasional sex when he wants it? Sounds like he has a deal and no commitment so he is free to see others. If he is not ready for a commitment but still wants sex you need to ask yourself if you can put up with this. If it is making you miserable then slow down and say no to sex. Otherwise you will prolong the relationship and he won't have to commit because you are giving him what he wants anyway.
2006-07-13 21:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by Mike H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men in general are not like your friend. Your friend is attracted towards you and wants to get more intimate. You tell him straight that there is a limit to friendship and he cannot cross the line. If you both are serious then get married. You cannot have the cake and eat it too. Don't worry about losing your friend. It is safer to get the matters staright before it is too late. Maybe he does not know what is on your mind, so better tell him frankly. Don't keep him under delusion.
2006-07-14 04:17:25 · answer #2 · answered by StraightDrive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well be honest first if you really have that strong of feelings for him i would let him know that and if he cannot appreciate your feelings i would not give them to him because you don't want to get hurt but you also need to think logically how old is he is he ready to settle down and he has already said he don't want anything serious.......... Respect yourself and love yourself you deserve better than just being someone to sleep with if he wants to be your friend than cool draw the line and let him know that you can not sleep with him because it is confusing you and you want more tell him you will be his friend and if he cannot do that you know what he was after the whole time like i said Love yourself look after yourself...
GOOD LUCK HUN
2006-07-14 04:16:28 · answer #3 · answered by kathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just want something 4 free. Treat him as a casual friend nothing else. Do not go 2 the bedroom with him again.unless u want 2 cheapen yr self in his eyes.
2006-07-14 04:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by lynnbtohs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a bit confused by your question it really never came out clearly. But may be you have met the wrong men or been sending wrong signals. set your boundaries right from the start when you meet a man and he will respect them. Boundaries are important in any relationship.
2006-07-14 04:13:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men are not looking for companionship! They want to get it on!
Tell him what you want! and say it loud and clear! no hints, no subtlety, SAY IT TO HIM STRAIGHT! we understand straight.
If you value his friendship and he values yours then he will understand your reasoning.
We are opportunists... it is in our nature. If the situation presents itself we will grab it and the only way to avoid this is for you to say no. yes it is like teaching a dog: when he is bad, slap him and eventually he will learn that he must not do the bad thing.
I don't mean slap your friend, but if you confront him a few times about his advances he will stop... or at least he will in theory.
Just tell him. Remember subtle hints don't work, strong hints don't work, totally obvious hints don't work!
2006-07-14 04:26:07 · answer #6 · answered by Capt BloodLoss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first mistake, you slept with him. if you knew he wanted friendship that's what he would have gotten. some people can be intimate and leave it at that. i cant. it appears you cant as well. so knowing this don't sleep with him when hes stated he does not want a relationship. see friends don't sleep with friends. i don't date on the job employees that way you wont feel awkward. give him time but don't be his booty call. thanks Kat
2006-07-14 04:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by shiznick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first you have to decide if you just want to be used as his f**k buddy where he can just turn up n be nice when he wants some OR if you want to stand your ground, regain some dignity n get what you want for the relationship by speaking up. It's up to you - but unless you know the first option is going to be ok with you and not screw up your head you NEED to stand up to him and tell him straight - no relationship no sex
2006-07-14 04:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should not feel bad about your feelings they make you stronger and he should know that and respect them.
well you shoul not tell him directly and dont show him that you ino im too much if he keep looking at you in that way face him and know how he feel if he say that you just friends cut off and tell him to look to you as a friend.
and not only men how confused women too and i see it by myself.
2006-07-14 04:15:39 · answer #9 · answered by shadow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is not a smart alec answer, this is just the TRUTH.
HE WANTED SOME B**TY, period~!!!!!!!!
it sounds like he wants you as a CASUAL friend/sex partner. He's not ready for a committment - he just wants to have fun
2006-07-14 04:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋