any joke or laugh quotations ? may be too short.but must be real?

Answer 1

75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.

On their first night both were crying - Why?

Reason - Because she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything !

Answer 2

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

The pharmacist fainted

Answer 3

DOCTORS PAY ATTENTION

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them,

"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

Answer 4

2 little boys were at a wedding. In the middle of it, one boy asked his friend, "how many wives can you have?"
Immediately, the other boy said, "16."
Shocked, the first boy said, "16? How do you figure that?"
The boy answered, "4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer...16."

Answer 5

A blonde calls her boyfriend on the phone with a problem.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard.

None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?", he asks.

"It's of a big rooster", she replies.

"All right," he says, "I'll come over and have a look."

When he arrives, she thanks him for coming over and leads him over to the kitchen table where she has it laid out. He takes one look at what she's been struggling with and says, "Oh, for heavens sake, put the cornflakes back in the box!"

Answer 6

Ah Yes, Divorce , from the latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Answer 7

Maine kaha "Dil Ruba" Usne kaha stability bhijwa Maine kaha "Paise Nahi" Usne kaha "Kaise nahi" Maine kaha "Mehangai Hai" Usne kaha "Ja aaj se tu mera bhai hai hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah good comic tale keep on

Answer 8

this 10 year old kid asked his older bother how to act older...so the older brother told him he had to say a bad word, so the 10 you old asked what word he should say his brother told him that when they go down to breakfast he has to say "***" and the younger one said o.k. but only if the older one would say damn...so when they went downstairs their mother asked,what they wanted 4 breakfast the older one said get me some damn chereo's then she yelled @ him to go to his room then she asked the younger and he said...you can bet your fat *** I dont want chereo's


ha ha ha !!!!

Answer 9

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna ride bikes.

Answer 10

why did the computer cross the road?

To get to the other side hahaha