i am a malaysian,married to a singaporean and have a 5 month old baby girl. i am a fully housewife. i and my husband are distance relative and both of us are in love for more then 11 years. nowadays, my husband start to fight with me for a silly matters especially about my daughter. he fill that i should listen to his parents especially my mother in law. i know what is right and wrong for my daughter. but when i tell him, he feel that i don't know anything. i don't have friends here to share my problem. my parents a very old & i don't want to tell them because i don't want to make them worried about me here. sometime, he will make me angry till i feel like to kill myself. i don't know why he change alot and he don't love me like how he was last time.pls help me!!!!
2006-07-13 19:58:43 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You do what is right for your daughter. Think about her when you get depressed from what your husband says. It also sounds like you need to get out and make some friends who can help you. I can't give you really good advice because I don't know you or your husband or your culture. But talking to good friends might help. You said that sometimes you feel like killing yourself. Don't do that. What would your daughter do without you? She needs her mother. I hope that things work out well for you. Talk to your husband about how you feel. Let him know that you love him. Sometimes men feel like their wives give all the attention to the new baby. Maybe that is what is wrong with him.
2006-07-13 20:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by just me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be drastic and take time to really evaluate how much you are needed, by your daughter especially.
Maybe you need to talk with your husband--- I'm sure he still loves you very much, but as people mature and get older love has a different way of showing it's face. Your husband is probably still very much in love with you, but feels like since you've been together for so long, you know that he loves you and like he doesn't need to prove his love anymore. It might help if you explain how you've been feeling to him and tell him that you need a little more affection, because no matter how sure we are it's nice to be reminded of how special or needed we are to someone.
Please remember that your daughter needs you and that at least your mother law does not live with you. Just be firm about what you believe and try to make compromises when absolutely necessary.
Good luck!! &hearts
2006-07-13 20:06:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dun know how is your relationship with your in law? Most grandparents really dote on their grandchildren even when the grandchildren made a mistake, they dun allow the parents to scold them. As a mother, you always want your children to do the right thing.
The main problem is you dun want your parent to worry about this issue. There are few things I not quite sure of. Are you staying with your in laws? How long have you been married?
If you are not staying with your in laws, you can have a good talk with your husband on matters related to your daughter. As the father, he also must have the responsibilty of taking care of the children and not leave everything to you.
Normally when a family have children, the parents will divert the love to the children and I think your husband have done the same thing.
2006-07-14 01:22:30 · answer #3 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Y dont u pretty yrself up. Keep occupied. Make yr home a pleasant place 2 come home 2. Just keep quiet and listen 2 yr in law advice on raising yr daughter,if u feel it is the right thing 2 do follow if not dont. No need 2 argue with him or them. Put yrself in yr in law place they also want the best 4 their grand daughter. Be sweet 2 them. I always believe that kindness begets kindness. Dont put yr husband in the position that he has 2 choose between his parents or u. U may end up being the loser. Maybe u shd ask yr in law 2 suggest better ways 2 bring up yr daughter if u feel some of their ideas r better y not? If u have yr in laws on yr side if in case yr husband strays who do u think they will support?
2006-07-13 20:35:51 · answer #4 · answered by lynnbtohs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he does not change, you need to think about getting out of the marriage, especially if you are becoming so depressed that you feel suicidal. It is very hard to be a mother and have a mother-in- law constantly giving you advice. You should sit down with your husband and tell him exactly how you feel about all of this and also let him know that you do not feel he loves you like he used to. Ask if you and he can go to counseling for advice. Try to discuss everything without arguing.
2006-07-13 20:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by kb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing what exactly you and your husband are diagreeing about, it is a little difficult to give a specific answer. Your daughter, being only 5 months old, must be seeing a baby doctor. If so, you and your husband can ask the doctor his or her medical opinion. Surely, your husband would accept a professional's opinion. Also, there are many books on childcare and child rearing that you can borrow from your neighborhood library. Good luck!
2006-07-13 20:08:50 · answer #6 · answered by 2T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you go into a marriage you should have your eyes wide open and watch for everything that bothers you and you like so you can make a good matching decision. Now you are married to this man and you should half way close your eyes. Listen a little and say, ok...I will listen. You can be passive agressive and agree with them and then just do it your own way anyway this way there is not a conflict involved. Good luck.
2006-07-13 20:04:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't kill yourself, because then your mother in law really gets to raise your daughter!! Can't you just pretend to listen to his parents? Do what she says every once in a while and make sure she notices when you do. Then when you get home do what you want. Having a baby is stressful try to hang in there until she is older, maybe things will get better.
2006-07-13 20:06:52 · answer #8 · answered by 5cent Frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear to whom concerns, you might right on how he not use to be hmself, but if you rather want this , it will become something else different, like this is the real story my mom co-worker she is a wife of his for 15 years and he never want to hear her point of view , always said that she is wrong at what she do, he listen to his friend and family and always belive that they are correct and she is wrong. My mom told to her that, with a husband and wife relationship for many years still you don't trust me, so she told her to be who she is, if you believe in something that is right in your heart then follow it, with that relationship like husband and wife he should respects and gain your trust, so try to do what you truly good for your daughter, because you flourish this child for 9 months and is your own , you have the choice to choose what is the best since you is more connect to her more than anybody else,
2006-07-13 20:11:43 · answer #9 · answered by pat t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the course of the marriage ceremony, we invite friends, kinfolk and parents are cutting-edge. is that this to have nutrients in basic terms and enjoy dancing with the band ! they arrive to bless and favor satisfied married existence. So even as this new couple for a sparkling relations arising the way ahead for the society, receives engulfed in some perplexed distinction, then all cutting-edge in the course of the ceremony can help out. Even experienced counselors should be observed as. notwithstanding the society receives in touch even as the member of the relations is injured, murdered (homicide/suicide). If the mummy and dad poke their nostril without the consent of the couple, then all hell breaks loose and Divorce or extra intense issues ensue.
2016-10-14 11:04:21 · answer #10 · answered by tegtmeier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋