timely manner, responds to us at her own pace and when it is appropriate, must always be reminded how to complete her tasks, doesn't respect our wishes, doesn't seem to improve if we discipline her and more. This has been going for 4 years now. She responds to her mother better than her step father, but still her mother has problems dealing with her often. We are concern about her unhealthy eating habits and tired of her continuing this behavior as if we don't recognize it. She is talking to a counselor funded by the state, but we feel this isn't helping any.
Can anyone offer any advice as far as improving our situation. I was thinking of having her make a contract for us as far as what is expected of her and what priveleges can be taken away if she doesn't change her behavior or at least tries to make an effort to improve herself. As far as her unhealthy eating habits, we talked about locking the fridge and only allow her to have access to meals & snacks we prepare for her.
2006-07-13 19:27:51 · 6 answers · asked by rascoe627 1 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
Here's the gorilla in the room: Her biological father. From the tone of your post, I gather that she is a child of divorce, and not that her father has died. If this assumption is incorrect, then you might want to append your post to add relevant information.
As a child of divorce, she harbors a level of resentment towards both you (the man who drove her father away) and her mother (who rejected her father for you). While this may not represent the truth of your relationship, this is how SHE views the situation.
Additionally, your state funded counselor might actually be causing part of the problem. Make sure that the girl's mother takes the opportunity to sit in on a session with her to insure they have a healthy interaction. The councelor might object, and it is likely that the girl will not open up about some issues, but it might be a good idea for the girl to confront some of the issues with her mother with a counselor present.
I think that with improved communication, your situation will resolve itself. Start with the mother/daughter dialog, and eventually, there will be an opportunity for the three of you to open a healthy family dynamic.
2006-07-13 19:47:14 · answer #1 · answered by Jim T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First get off her ***, shes must be doing this cause it gets here attention!!! Even if its negative, her life is hard as a teen and her parents breaking up and going through this then having new ones would drive you crazy. My guess with her eatting is she was raised to eat unhealthy. Work her into eatting better a little bit at a time, get her to exercise with you ask her to make you and her some thing healthy like a lowfat yoguart with fresh fruit then ask her to go walking with you. Show her rewards like if she does her chores go buy a outfit, go out for ice cream. What kind of bad habits? If you are going or do treat her like a baby by locking the frige you are just adding to her problems she will rebel and is already showing you she don't care now what you do or say. But I would get together with her mom and make sure you are both or all 4 working together for her and not to feud each other tempers. If you are not giving her junk and her mom is she will know that. Find something to make the poor girl happy what ever she may be into.
2006-07-13 19:41:41 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal D 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. Remember shes a teenager, alot of teenagers are doing the same things she is, so its not far from typical..
as far as her eatting habits.. my mom was a fairly heavy set child and when she came home from school my grandma would sit with her with sliced apples and talk to her while they snacked on apples.. just about her day simple thing, my mom thought it was her own special time with her mom when actually it was a covert operation set up by my grandma to get her to eat healthy snacks after school with out letting on to her what was going on , so that it wouldnt give her a complex..
2. my step mom was very strict about meals growing up.. cereal or oatmeal in the a.m. and she did the grocery shopping we were excited when it was something other then Cornflakes or Wheaties.. Lunch we had a sandwich and milk.. or kool aide.. after school we could have a piece of fruit or a piece of cheese.. we had dinner we were allowed only a half can of pop at dinner thats it, kool aide or milk during the rest of the day..and then at night she would put out alittle something for desert like a twinkie or something .. we had a deep freezer and my step mom kept all junk food frozen in this and only she had the key.. any thing else junk wise she kept in her bedroom closet..to keep all 5 of us kids from eatting them out of house and home..
Curb your daughters eating habits with out making it obvious u dont want to kill her self esteem and give her a complex.. its a very thin line..
Realize she is a kid and it sounds to me that along with typical teenage hormonal additudes that shes depressed.. i think she needs alot of attention and needs alot of parent interaction, maybe do something fun to get her some excercise but do it in a "want to have fun with the family " way not in a U need to lose weight way.. .
good luck
2006-07-13 19:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by preciosa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh goodness, I'm sorry I can't be of much help. Try your local library for books on parenting, check out
http://www.drphil.com
http://www.buddyscott.com/
http://www.familyfirst.net/parenting/articles.asp
I hope things get better for you!
2006-07-13 19:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Homeopathy :-
CHAMOMILLA 30C thrice a day half hour before meals.
Report back with her conditions and progress after three days please.
Take Care and God Bless you and your family.
2006-07-13 20:58:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HER, THEN KICK HER OUT...IF SHE RESPONDS TO HER MOTHER...LET HER STAY WITH HER MOTHER..
2006-07-14 02:53:10 · answer #6 · answered by pussy_kat_365 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋