Ok, so recently i met this girl in college and we've been seeing each other and hanging out for the past 4 months. 3 weeks ago i confessed to her about my feelings that i really like her and she said she likes me back., but she wants to stay single for now because she needs to learn to grow as a person. And i told her that I'd wait for her because she really is worth the wait, and i dont mind waiting. so a few weeks past and yesterday when i asked her to hang out, it was the first time she said i dont know. and then she said i dont wanna keep saying i dont know so i wanted to tell you that i feel awkward after we hang out because of the thought of me waiting for her makes her feel weird. So i asked her what she wanted to do about it and she said i dont know and that maybe we shouldnt hang out anymore. And every question i asked from then on is an "I dont know." And she later told me she felt that she can't open up her feelings to me and now i dont know what to do.
2006-07-13 19:25:54 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She also said that we cant have a "real true friendship" because I have feelings for her and im waiting for her. Im so confused about her mixed emotions and I dont want to lose her as a friend either. Can someone please go about telling me whats the best thing to do so I can save what her and I have now??? Thx!
Update... she just called me and we chatted on the fone for 30-40 minutes, but she sounded happy more than usual to talk to me, and when i asked what shes doing shes like im on the fone with u silly... and usually when we talk shes either listenin to music or reading a book or something.... oh and she messages me good night on aim everyday. . .
Update again... she called me again 3 days later and she said that i shouldn't hesistate to call her to talk to her..... and i told her that i wanted to give her space and time so that she could think things through and that ive been hanging out with other people lately to get my mind off it..... and she was just like OH!....
2006-07-13 19:26:00 · update #1
Just don't force it or be too over-eager... be her friend and be there for her, but at the same time give her space when she wants it... if it was meant to be, it'll happen... but if you are pushy, she could run the other way..
2006-07-13 19:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems at first when you opened up to her, she told you that she liked you back, but then she stepped back. She might have just been confused about her own feelings. Maybe she was not sure about it yet, and she thought she did not want to loose your friendship. Apperantly, you giving her some space and time to figure things out on her own helped her understand what she actually wants.Like you said in your updates, if she calls you and tells you to not hesistate calling her, do so, that is if you want. But dont get into any kind of relationship conversations.Let her start it if there is anything like that. She will eventually ask about it. And you said she is worth waiting for, then I am guessing you would be ok with waiting for her to talk about it first. Good luck
2006-07-14 02:35:45 · answer #2 · answered by dugu$ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's just confused but one thing's for sure: she didnt feel the same way 'bout you when you told her your feelings for her. It may change, it may not. She may fall for someone else. The platonic friendship is gone. You've just killed it when you confessed. Might as well go on with it, no point trying to revive that friendship you'll only cause stress in the relationship. What she's trying to maybe is laying the groundwork for you, make it easy in the future if maybe she'll want you at least the connection is there, no akward falling off whatsoever. Your strategy can be just lay it off a little, stop stressing that you're "waiting for her", it just freaks her out. Be the not-so-platonic friend but not obviously a lover, your feelings for her is already established she knew that, there's no need to rub it in for want of winning her heart, you'll only lose. Do the normal stuffs, but stop expecting that she will behave as she did before in your presence or she will treat you as before. Some of the things you got when you're just friends will no longer return. You have a chance since you already know her well. So just do those things that kinda hint what you want to say in the subtle ways, someday she'll budge and thats your trophy. Watch out for the prospective bf's. Its a tremendous heartache and will really test your conviction.
2006-07-14 02:38:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a Gemini.. actually.. sounds like a women.. no offense gals, I've been married for 7 years. Hey buddy, I know that your emotions are killing you, but just because she is all that you can think about, doesn't mean that she thinks about you.
Before you can be 'girlfriend-boyfriend', learn to be her friend. Drop the whole, 'I care for me, marry me, NOW', because it's probably scaring her. Be there for her, but give her space. If you find out all about her.. aka, the movies she likes, the soda's she dreams, some gift she would die for.. you'll be on the right path. She likes Dr. Pepper, bring two to school, one for you, one for her. Just say that you wanted one, then remembered that she liked it. Give it to her, and LEAVE! Don't wait for a complement. She won't like that.
Go see some movies. Tell her that you're going to the movies, and invite her. 'Yeah, I'm going to see (blank), you can tag along if you want.' She'll appreciate the fact that by saying no she isn't going to ruin your evening.
Find out what makes her laugh. Women love men who make them laugh. I'm not saying become a comedian, just find out what sort of stuff she is into, and when the time is right, make a comment. But not to often. Remember, she wants to have her freedom to develop. Be there for her, and not there to force yourself upon her.
There was a girl that I had a major crush on in High School. She's now married to a great guy. They get along way better than her and I could have. Plus, the woman that I married is absolutely great. Remember, there are billions of women out there. If she isn't the one, then she isn't. That doesn't mean you can't have a wonderful friendship.
2006-07-14 02:36:45 · answer #4 · answered by Grant S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre pressing to hard
and you will lose her
gilr want what they cannot have
and if you readily avalible 24/7
she will loose interest and put you in the gay guy column
where you can be tight friends
and nothing more
once there you are screwed as you never escape that
instead start dating around
call her say once evey 2 weeks
she figure out that you are much in demand
and she start calling you mroe often
do not return her calls right away
let her want you more than you want her
it will sharpen her focus
on you
you have to keep her on her toes
as right now she has you right where she want you
under her thumb
and she's calling all the shots
and belive it or not she does NOT respect you
she see' you less of a man
and more like a boy
since you will not stand up for yourself and have some backbone
she want a guy in charge
not some sniveling wuss
2006-07-14 02:33:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u sound like an awesome guy and soon enough this girl is going to realize how lucky she is. just stay true to her as a friend and dont ever lose sight of that. give her space when she needs it and as u have seen she will come back to u when she is ready. she sounds like a smart girl and does not want to rush into things since maturity in a relationship is the best thing. so dont make any moves until she gives u the signal, which she eventually will, and instead call her as u normally would and enjoy her company.
best of luck!
2006-07-14 02:30:37 · answer #6 · answered by mayami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are now learning a valuable lesson here. Since the creation of Eve, women have been practicing their power over man.
I know you think you are in love with this person, but what is happening is a game to her. She may in fact love you as well, but that's not stopping the power game.
If you are uncomfortable with the way she is treating you, you need to tell her that and lay down some ground rules of your own. Women respect men who take charge and handle things.
You may realize later that she is not the one for you. If this happens, let her go for if you don't she regains the power back and you are back in the same position you were originally.
2006-07-14 02:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by CEM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok !! so you don't need us now =P The girl likes you and she just needed to realise it first..It's obvious.. Take her to the movies and dont tell her anything about ur feelings again yet.. Act as a frined this time and see how she reacts..Im sure she made her mind and she decided that she is having really nice time with you and doesnt wanna lose you..
If she acts different and not saying" i dont know" and all then be sure that she made her mind about you.. she likes you.. Then act as you wish.. you know better than me =P show her how much you care and like her and all..
2006-07-14 02:33:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're young and have plenty of time to move on. Find someone that wants to be with you instead of hanging around waiting on someone that doesn't. But, being a woman I will tell you that it's puppy like to tell a woman you'll wait for her and most women are like men and do enjoy somewhat of a challenge. Keep your feelings to yourself a little longer when you meet someone.
2006-07-14 02:29:14 · answer #9 · answered by Jill H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she starting to fall for you i felt the same wya she did i wanted some space from this guy because of someone else but when he mentioned another girl i would get jealous because i wanted his mind to be on me but i soon confessed to him that i wanted to be with him and 8 months later were still together so just talk to her and let her know that your here for her and that you want to know how she feels because you also can't wait forever she may be the perfect girl now but remember there might be another more perfect girl that will be in a relationship with you instead of making you wait! maybe she wants you to fight for her every girl loves that! some girls wont settle for a guy unless they fight for her so give that a shot also!
2006-07-14 02:35:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang tough man... sounds like you got a rather immature girl fren there. She's not in command of her emotions and this try out phase is more likely to put you on a roller coaster ride.
So if you don't like roller coaster rides, hang tough. I support what you've been doing for her and yourself. Sounds like you know to respect her. And that's very mature of you.
Just be there and be supportive. Given time, I'm sure things will sort themselves out.
Word of caution, beware the interlooper.
2006-07-14 02:33:29 · answer #11 · answered by Hang Tough 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋