blonde jokes?

Question

im sorry to all you blonds so dont answer to whine, ill report you for gaming points.

ill award best to the person with the best blonde joke,

also i got one right now so dont use it

A blind guy walks into a bar and shouts "HEY ANYBODY WANNA HEAR A DUMB BLONDE JOKE?"
The bartender stares at him funny and says

theres three reasons you dont wanna do that
reason 1- the guy next to you is the morrow county heveyweight champion and hes blonde
reason 2- jhonny the hitman just came in, he 'takes care' of peoples porblems...permanantly and hes blonde
reason 3- i got a twelve gage behind the counter, and im blonde
still wanna tell that joke?

the blind man looks around for a minute and says
"no,,, not if i have to explain it 3 times!"

yea its not the best so come up with better ones!

Answer 1

Brunette, redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven. God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 5th step He would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter Heaven. The brunette went first and started laughing on the 45th step, so she could not enter Heaven. The redhead went next and started laughing on the 200th step, so she could not enter Heaven either. Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing. "Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke." "I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first joke."

Answer 2

Blonde's Deodorant

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant
for some rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that,
they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she
has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular
basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "We don't have any."

"But, I always buy it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.

"Yes," said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist
who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of
underarm deodorant."

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container
back and reads out loud from the container ........





"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

Answer 3

Blonde in the dark

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow
me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would
tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and
made funny noises. My coworker (who's blonde)
asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light
bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you
doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.
He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple
of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker
(the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her "...And where do you think
you're going?"

She said "I can't work in the dark!

Answer 4

How does a blonde turn on the light after sex - she opens the car door

What do you tell a blonde with 2 black eyes - Nothing, she obviously wouldn't listen the first 2 times

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito - a mosquito will stop sucking on you after you slap it

Answer 5

A blonde walks into a laundramat and says " I want this shirt washed" . The owner , who is a little hard of hearing ,says, " Come again? " .The blonde blushes and says " No, just mustard this time." Dont get offened , blondes , I am a blonde myself haha

Answer 6

A blonde walks into a salon and says, "I want to get my hair done". The stylist notice she was wearing headphones and carrying a Walkman. The stylist then says "OK, but first let's take off the headphones." The blonde jumps back and shrieks, "NO I'LL DIE!" The stylist says "Don't be silly," and snatches the headphones off her head. The blonde falls instantly dead. Shocked, the stylist puts on the headphones "...breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe..."

Answer 7

There were 2 blonds (Sarah and Hannah) making a house. Sarah was nailing the wall boards to the framing. She would take a nail and look at it and if it pointed toward the wall, she nailed it into the wall. If it faced the other way, she would throw it out. Hannah stopped her work and watched Sarah for awhile. She finally asked her what was she doing? Sarah blinked, "Isn't it obvious?" Hannah rolled her eyes. "You silly goose! Those aren't broken! Their for the other wall!"

Answer 8

A blonde and a brunette are walking along. The brunette says, "oh look, a dead bird!" and the blonde looks up to the sky and says, "where?!"

Answer 9

-what does a blonde and a turtle have in common? when they're both on their back, they're screwed....
-there were 2 blondes, one was on one side of the street and the other on the other side of the street, one blonde yells "how do you get to the other side?" and the other blonde says "you are on the other side"...
-OLDIE- how can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer screen? theres white-out on it....
LOL thats all i got....lame i know.

Answer 10

Okay so there's this magic mirror. If you look through it at yourself and tell the truth, you get a wish. But if you lie into the mirror, Poof!!! Into the mirror you go. So there's a brunette that goes up to the mirror and says, "I think I'm fat." Poof! into the mirror she goes. A red head goes up to the mirror and says, "I have never told a rumor." Poof! into the mirror she goes. A blonde then goes up to the mirror and says, "I think..." Poof! into the mirror she goes. ;-D