What is a good tale tell sign that you have kids?

Question

For me it happened earlier today, I had to sport a Sesame Street bandaid when I cut my finger because we had no plain bandaids in the house. Tell me your funny "Yes I Have Kids" stories! Let's all laugh about parenthood and remember not to take ourselves too seriously!

Answer 1

going to the "potty" instead of the rest room....

Answer 2

Here are a few tell tale signs of a
"Manic Mom"
1) Calls Time and Temperature just to hear an adult voice.
2) Thinks pizza, not milk, is the perfect food.
3) Doesn't know whether to be worried or relieved when finding a condom in her
son's drawer.
4) Is always answering the phone, but it's never for her.
5) Can't tell the difference between her son's laundry and the cleaning rags.
6) Is so focused on the needs of her children that she spends an entire day feeling vaguely uncomfortable not realizing she hasn't been to the bathroom since morning.
Here is something funny I found online to share.

Answer 3

Tattletale signs that I am a mom:

1) I am now referred to a so-and-so's mom by people I grew up with

2) I drive a mini-van that is always in go mode (it even beeps when I back up to warn kids that I am moving)

3) The tv in my house is always on the disney channel even though my daughter isn't home

4) The song in my head isn't off the top 40 list, but from Higglytown heros.

5) While at the grocery store, I look for 100% juice as opposed to whatever is on sale.

6) While playing dress up with my daughter I let her do my make up, then it was nap time for her while I started dinner. The mailman came to the door to deliever a package, and I was sooo beautiful that he laughed out loud at me!

7) Pizza in a hurry counts as breakfast (it has dairy, bread, and a veggie (pizza sauce), and a meat)

8) my snack at work consits of a go-urt and animal crakers

9) my name on here says someonesmom!!!

Answer 4

Well for me, my daughter likes to do my hair, with those little clips. Sometimes I forget I have them in and we end up going out. I'm sure people get a laugh or two. I have also done the bandaid thing too but for me it was Barbie, Hello Kitty and Sponge Bob. Moments like this are priceless though, aren't they?
I have also pulled out the pacifiers and sang the kiddy songs while standing in line. hahaha and the best is when my husband or a friend has something on their face so I spit on the tissue to wipe it off for them. Something all us mommys do.

Answer 5

Oh man, you said it. I'm a mother of three and a rabid mescaline addict. Hah. I don't know how I find the time to balance my household chores with my maternal obligations and incongruously aggressive sex drive. lol. I'm 4'11" but my baker, mailman, dentist, local grocer, neighbor the botanist, friend the pilot, husband's best friend and even my gay hairdresser call me "The Brick House." Talk about misnomers! No wolf has ever had a hard time blowing down this little piggy. mmmm hard. wink wink. Long (red, throbbing) story short, if I don't "pound out the veal" at least twice, daily, I go completely insane!

Anyway, I was throwing some clothes in the wash the other day, you know, trying to get out those stubborn blood, grass, semen stains, whatever, and I completely forgot about the purseful of mescaline tablets I left haphazardly lying around on my kitchen floor. haha. So, the boys get home from tae kwon do and, just my luck, they brought some friends over. Some firm, sweaty, sinewy, friends. mmph. So, I'm sitting on the dryer trying to "get off" and, believe me, it gets harder and harder each time, when out of nowhere I hear howling sounds coming from the kitchen. Whaddaya know, my sons and all their friends are high off their scrunched little tushies on mescaline. They emptied the purse! But it wasn't a complete loss. I gave my sons $100 bucks to get lost and their friends 50 to shave me...and I'm not talking about my legs! Oh ladies! Take it from me. I have sex with anything on three legs, but there is nothing like a sweaty, hungry, eager college boy. So, "Yes I Have Kids!" but, mmmph, those kids have friends...and those friends are hung like, government-funded, chemically-engineered orangutans.

Kisses!

Answer 6

Well, between pulling a pacifier out of my purse, humming kids' songs while standing in line at the grocery store and thinking a killer Friday night is watching a Disney movie and getting to bed early, no one would have a clue I am a parent.

Answer 7

When you find peanut butter sandwiches in your VCR, your keyboard constantly sticks to your fingers when you try to type. You roll over in bed, thinking that your hugging up to your husband/significant other, and the form is small and it whimpers I had a bad dream.....* When you go to the store you get pissed if there isn't any of those special carts for kids. You dress up for church, and unknowingly the baby has up chucked on your shoulder and your wearing black.

All of which have happened to Me. Ohhh and don't forget the car and block in the VCR as well.

Answer 8

I will clean my van out,and the very sec my kids get back in it the trash is back.Or I'll put the TV on and Nick or Disney channel's are on.Here is the best one. When you are trying to have a momment with your husbent,and the kids keep knoking at the door because they can't sleep.

Answer 9

I had to go to the doctors with my girlfriend, and got caught with one of those little picture books with the cardboard pages and later on writing my gf a note with one of those magnetic slide across to erase things. when I go to the doctors I alway go for the highlights for the photo finder thing before I grab the sports illustrated. I have a few more. I dont think mine is as much what you are talking about....I just dont think I will ever grow up. age 22.

Answer 10

wearing the egg carton 'jewelry' that one made in summer camp to work because she asked me to, and then forgetting to take it off when I got there.
The day my daughter packed my lunch for me, and I ate a kiddo lunch - ppj, a banana, so far not bad... fruit loops, gummy bears, and a pudding dessert with a fancy little spoon (it had strawberry shortcake on the end).
My then 5 year old son decided to see if stampers made good tattoos... I woke up one morning and all seemed fine until I went in to brush my teeth, and found little alphabet letters and a giraffe on my face! It did not come off until three days later, as he had used my ink pad with permanent ink. I have no idea how he kept me from waking up, but he had to have known I would not be as thrilled as he was... funny, but years later (he has a 5 year old now and this was last year) we gave a stamper set to our grandson - and our son decided to reenact his tattoo experiment - but this time we were awake. He got all goofy and stamped his dad on the arm, and the next thing I knew I had to break up a stamp war between them! men... no more stampers with him around! (he is very mature otherwise). (I ended up with a smiley face on my hand that time - but I was smart - washable ink!)

Answer 11

When an old friend came to visit and asked to take a shower, I showed him where the bathroom was and then proceded to set the water temperature for him. He was quite confused and I'm not sure who was more embarassed.