My pastor has insisted on having counseling meetings with my wife every Tuesday evening for the past two years. So, every Tuesday night I have stayed home and made dinner for myself and the kids while she was with him. She won't tell me what they talk about but she says that they spend most of their time on their knees just praying to God. I can't imagine what she's done that requires all these sessions with the pastor. Shouldn't she be forgiven by now? Should I be worried that my wife has committed some sins like overeating or blasphemy or even worse that she has become a religious fanatic or something? Please help me.
2006-07-13 16:19:29 · 27 answers · asked by idspudnik 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
she might be spending all her time on her knees but she aint prayin
2006-07-13 16:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
I'd ask to join them. Something is not right if a married woman needs to be with the pastor every Tuesday night. Tell her that you are concerned and that you really feel you need to be there for her. If she refuses to have you join her, I'd recommend talking to her about what is truly going on.
Additional details: are you sure she is really meeting with the pastor or is that an excuse to go out with someone else? If you are sure it's the pastor she is meeting with, perhaps you could check with his wife and see what she knows about this. If it's what most of us think is going on, the two of them are most likely having an affair. If so, it might be a good time to have a heart to heart talk over the phone with the pastor's wife and ask her if she knows what is going on (she should be aware of this as well). Why don't you give her a call during the next Tuesday night "prayer" meeting. Like the others have said, and I totally agree, a male pastor has no business meeting privately with a married woman of his congregation. Even if it's innocent, why should these meetings be just between the two of them and where are they meeting? Your wife owes you some serious answers. My prayers are with you tonight for his peace to reign in your heart.
2006-07-13 16:24:41 · answer #2 · answered by Searcher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sure about that? Y'know what, as much as I am a Christian and I'm all for that counseling stuff.. there are a few things that you would want to consider first.
Some counseling guidelines:
1.) Counseling is best done with people of the same gender.
- A true blue Christian pastor will know better than to mess around with these kinda things.
2.) If it is not of the same gender, it should be group counseling (with very trustworthy members).
3.) And you should be included too! She is, after all, your wife.
My goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guard your own girl, man!!!!!!!!!! The next time she goes out on counseling, tag along! Bring your bible! And if need be, a chainsaw too!
2006-07-13 16:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by jack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sir, I am glad to see that you trust your wife so much. I am glad to see that you are willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. However, your pastor is not someone I would be under. He is, at the very least, unwise. The Bible says to stay away from appearances of evil. If they are alone on Tuesday nights, this pastor is putting himself in a situation in which it looks like he is having an affair with your wife. He is very foolish to do that. He is not doing what the Bible says to do. He is also putting himself in a situation in which he can be tempted sexually with your wife. This is also foolish.
If I were you, I would start going to God in prayer yourself very much. Sit in his presence and gain wisdom from him, because your wife may be committing adultery with your pastor. Especially start praying for your kids, because they may get hurt in this situation. Pray that God gives you the strength to do what you need to do.
2006-07-13 16:35:13 · answer #4 · answered by friendofgod65451 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does everyone assume she is with the pastor? Couldn't it be that is her excuse to go off somewhere? Has the pastor himself told you this, or was it coming from your wife? A bit of investigation is called for, but don't automatically accuse a pastor unless it is verified - gossip can ruin a person unjustly.
2006-07-13 16:50:02 · answer #5 · answered by sim24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is as you describe... the pastor is acting improperly. He has given the impression of sinful behavior. If you can not get a streight answer from your wife and you can not get a streight answer from your pastor... you need to go to the Decons or elders of you congrigation and state your concerns. if they do not follow through... you have probably lost both a wife and a church home... This is not acceptable behavior as you have described it...
Are there other issues in your home life involving your wife... are you harboring any responsability you have not admited here... ALL of this needs to be brought out with you to whoever you go to for assistance in this... Both your wife and pastor needs to come clean and you do as well... In any case the pastor has intruded in a harmful way in to your position as the husband and head of your home. BUT you need to be absolutly clean with all you deal with in this... if you have guilt it must be delt with as well.... May God lead and clean all in this...
2006-07-13 16:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by IdahoMike 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her away from the pastor. Any good counseler would invite the spouse (especially if of the opposite sex) and would not be counseling for 2+ years. Wake up my brother!
2006-07-13 16:25:34 · answer #7 · answered by disgruntled personage 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea i recognize a majority of those ladies, shes in all likelihood now unlikely to lower back down. Dont talk lower back to her its in basic terms going to gas the hearth. via the years as you overlook about her further and further, she will be able to appreciate that what shes preserving isn't attending to you and that its a waste of her time. no count how tempted you're to respond to a telephone call or e-mail, you cant, you purely ought to allow time heal her wounds. even if if i'm able to upload my $0.02, you do deserve each little bit of this, and more suitable, for dealing with which includes your selfish deeds. You cant blame her for feeling the way she does... and also you need to't blame YOUR moves on her marital complications - you dont should be a rocket scientist to keep in mind that it really is thoroughly irrational. also did you consider blocking her calls? Switching your telephone decision? I advise she ought to in all likelihood get via this and discover your new no ultimately, even if that is going to a minimum of grant you with some non everlasting solace.
2016-12-10 09:19:07 · answer #8 · answered by pfeifer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bro!!!
Get a freakin' clue. TWO YEARS??? So whaddya think's goin' on homie? Are you in some kinda religion where the pastor's word is law, or you live on their compound, or they have control over your relationships? Arranged marriages?
I mean, I've fallen for a lot, but ain't no way ANY man is gonna have more to say about my wife than me...
2006-07-13 16:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by toyoyo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men should not be counseling women one on one for a prolonged period of time......from a Chrsitian standpoint.
It is time for you to be a man and put your foot down. Tell her that he can come to your house and do the counseling there if need be. You will be in the living room or whatever and they can be in the kitchen. You are absolutely right to be concerned.
Your a bigger man than I would be....I would have followed them long ago to see what is up!
2006-07-13 16:25:13 · answer #10 · answered by Michelle A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heard of this many times. The husband is the head of the home, if your pastor is not including you, he is WAY OFF.
But in all seriousness, they are probably sleeping together. This happen SSOOO often.
2006-07-13 16:25:19 · answer #11 · answered by shutup4774 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋