What should I do? My husband really hates my father and his wife. He thinks that they haven't helped us any time we needed (like to buy our 1st house, take care of our child, or anythiing else). He thinks they are selfish and only visit for their fun and pleasure and that visits from them are spent catering to them. I don't disagree, but would rather ignore their behaviour and have a good family get-together once a year instead of having to get into a fight with them everytime we meet. He thinks I shouldn't hide my feelings and tell them the truth. I think that is only being mean and wouldn't do anything to make thinks better and would only make it worse.
We fight about this about 2 times a year: every time we visit with them. I have issues with his family but I would rather he be happy and I would never want to be the cause of a problem between him and his family so I never complain to him. He knows that but doesn't think it matters.
Do you think he is right?
2006-07-13 16:01:02 · 7 answers · asked by moietmoi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Boy this has really hit home for me! My in laws are definitely my outlaws so I know the stress. You seem like your pretty level headed when it comes to just accepting things that cannot be changed. By not expecting help from your father and his wife you wont be disappointed. like you've been over the years. Its so sad to see this happen, I feel for both you and your husband. In a way, it would be good to let your Dad know how you feel, but it has to be your choice because you will have to live with the outcome. It may blow up in your face. As far as your husbands family, why would you not talk to him about issues that you have? If you cant be honest with them, its so important to be honest with each other. Then make a decision on how you will handle things next time you are all together. Good luck!!
2006-07-13 16:18:06 · answer #1 · answered by CTMEDS 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I agreed with most. It is not your father's responsibility to help do anything. I know how it feels not to be able to depend on the grandparents to babysit or whatever. I just accept it. Is there a reason why your husband feels this way? Has your father helped out other siblings in your family and now maybe your husband feels he should help the both of you too? I beleive in keeping the peace also but talking it over with your father on your own may clear the air and you will find out where he is coming from also.
2006-07-13 23:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by M R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I will say that your husband has lots of hatred towards your father and his wife. However I must stress that as a husband of a family he is responsible for the cost of living, housing and the care of your children and not your father! Mind you, your dad's responsibility towards you has fulfilled now that you got a family of your own. It is obvious your husband's ability in certain ways is beyond his fulfilment and that should not be a excuse to blame your dad for your husband's disability. My words may be harsh on your husband but I will seriously ask you to please sort out this issue with your husband amicably as i am sure it does hurt you for someone to disrrespect your parents especially from someone that you loves!
2006-07-13 23:19:40 · answer #3 · answered by Priscilla N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wrong for him to expect your parents to help you out financially. You are two grown adults and should find ways to support yourselfs. Now, I agree with you in that you should keep the peace. They are your family and you should try to get along with them and so should your husband.
2006-07-13 23:06:54 · answer #4 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
family is important and you do the right thing and he needs to do the same. family is forever marriage can be gone in a blink of a eye. no he is very wrong not for feeling that way but for making a big deal of it to you.that's not fair to you.
2006-07-13 23:12:48 · answer #5 · answered by Irishman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, first of all, parents don't have to help you do anything. you are grown adults, take care of your own problems. i understand his point of view and yours. he wants to get things solved because you shouldn't have to walk around on egg shells around your own family. you let things go because you don;t want to upset the herd. both are understandable. but your family get together are only fun for them. isn't it time that they know how they are acting and correct it so that everyone can enjoy themselves?
2006-07-13 23:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. Just tell him to get over it and act right. That's what I do. If he has to be fake around them, then so be it.
2006-07-13 23:09:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋