2006-07-13 15:24:24 · 15 answers · asked by Hey you! 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I was meaning to have a tree planted in their memory and send them notification of such. This way they can "live forever".
2006-07-13 15:32:15 · update #1
A very thoughtful question. But I wouldn't send and sympathy gift and or the tree planting until the child has passed away.
Even though you have acknowledged the probability of this child passing away it would not suit the situation to gift the parents with a memorial of their child prior to the child's death.
Very sensitive and touchy subjest here. While the parents may know and expect to lose their child in the near future it would be painful for them to recieve such a premature thought.
I think that planting a tree in honor of this child would be a wonderful gift. And a perfect gesture of your emotions. It is done so often that the Cemetary itself usually sends the family a gift card stating that a tree has been planted in the name of their relative.
I would suggest to keep your gift to yourself until after the services, and give it a couple of days. If the parents are friends or relatives them you know where they live.
Well let me offer you this.....
After my parents passed away five days apart a friend of the family came by our house with a beautiful "evergreen and a Chameleon bush". She told me and my siblings what she felt about the "evergreen" was that it represented the ever lasting memory of how fresh and green life is. And that the Chameleon, represented the changes life gives us.
We loved the thought. With shovel in hand she dug the place that we picked out.
That was in 2000. The evergreen is now 15 feet tall and has been decorated for Christmas every year. The Chameleon offers us beautiful flowers twice a year.
We have sence added a bench and a plaque saying
"In Memory of Mom and Dad"...a gift of Love from Donna Thomas. It has become a place to sit and remember the wonderful moments............
all due to a thoughtful freind and the gift of a tree............
Chose your plant, tree or bush accordingly. Rose bushes may be best for a child. They can be dug up and taken with them if they ever move. They come in so many colors so you can actually chose pink or blue roses. There is blue rose called "Shocking Blue" that flowers June thru October. And for pink I would say get a "Chicago Peace" . You can find both at a local Wal Mart.
You are a very thoughtful person to think of something so special.
2006-07-13 17:53:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anna M 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Send a car expressing your sympathy and to tell them that you're there. Then after the child dies, do something in memory of the child (like a tree)
2006-07-13 22:29:14 · answer #2 · answered by uwparker81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do while the child is alive. I think a tree is a nice thing to do. Make it event for that child so the parents will have lovely memories when the see the tree grow.
2006-07-13 22:33:06 · answer #3 · answered by JO`NAE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After, even if you both know that the child is going to die, I would still send them somthing after, because you need to let the parents know that you have faith in God, and that you still have faith that the child will live!!! ( But why send them a tree ? )
2006-07-13 22:30:32 · answer #4 · answered by Caitlin S. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely after. Even in the realization intellectually that the child will die, the parent will still hold hope in the heart. Do not do anything to lessen or damage that hope. Wait until after the death. Sometimes, that hope, even if illogical, is the only thing that helps get the parent through the day.
2006-07-13 22:28:21 · answer #5 · answered by wanda s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before. Perhaps the child is old enough to understand the tree, and the parents will remember.
2006-07-13 22:28:52 · answer #6 · answered by Nelson_DeVon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should send the child a special present that he or she would like. Wait to send the sympathy gift AFTER the death...to the parents.
2006-07-14 00:39:22 · answer #7 · answered by ashcatash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send the tree afterwards and think of something nice and helpful to do for and/or with the family beforehand so that they know you're thinking of them.
2006-07-13 23:53:52 · answer #8 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send it after. And wait awhile after the child has passed to give them some official grieving time--they're obviously already grieving, but they need some official time after the funeral and burial.
2006-07-13 22:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Commercializing a child's death probably isn't the best course of action.
2006-07-13 22:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by reality check 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋