Are people naturally born with high selfesteem or is it learned?

Question

Ever since I was born I've been feeling nervours and scared all the time.

Answer 1

Some people may be born with it.

Personally, I was extremely shy and withdrawn as a child. I don't think I spoke one single word in kindergarden.

But as I got older into my 20's and 30's and found my natural skills and strengths and worked to put myself out on the line, I developed a very good sense of self-confidence.

I am not afraid to speak up for myself or anyone else for what is right. I have learned to speak with discretion and in an appropriate way, and I also learned how to pick my battles wisely, but I don't let people walk over me or treat me badly.

Answer 2

My experience is that, for the most part, self-esteem is a learned thing. What you have experienced growing up influences your self-esteem.

Feeling nervous and scared all the time does not necessarily mean that you *have* low self-esteem, although it could certainly *affect* your self-esteem.

One has to question the environment you grew up in. Did your parents fight a lot? Were you yelled at? Hit? Was the house kept very quiet? These are just some things that could have contributed to how you feel. I suppose there's always the possibility of a medical condition causing it as well, but let's not go there right now.

Do things that will help you boost your self-esteem and help reduce your nervousness. Force yourself to step outside your comfort zone a little bit at a time. Try to figure out what is making you scared or nervous and confront it. Join ToastMasters, your local Community Players acting group, an improv class, whatever.

Take an active role, if you haven't already, in doing something about this. You'll feel better for it.

Answer 3

sometimes is inborn sometimes it is the environment that affects this aspect of our personality.
as you might know its difficult to cope with life while having a low self esteem, but its not very difficult to turn the situation around.
these are some easy and basic things you can do to feel much better about yourself :
1. Dont be afraid to face new situations or new people. Everyone is a first timer.
2. Dont fuss over your failures. If you fail once, make it your goal to try till you suceed on the same task. However, dont stress yourself too much. Make real standards for yourself.
3. Reward yourself for every task or situation in which you have performed well. If you were nervour or scared on doing this task and still have dont it well, then there is no need for you to be nervous the second time.
4. Don't try to copy others style and attitudes. Believe in yourself.

--------
there are many sites on the internet which help in building self esteem .check them out

Good luck :)

Answer 4

I would think that very young you were frightened somehow is why the nervousness and you need to determine what makes you feel the most nervous and take it from there If you can it's best to understand why now than live in fear most of your life. Now as for how we are born, I believe we all are special and come from God and as it is written in Ephesians, we come from him and all was known long ago, and our simple minds can't understand why and how things happen to us. When we are innocent and babies we are the closest to God because we just came from him and this is perhaps why Jesus said, we must go to the Father as a child. As far as self esteem I think that is something that is learned or taught by another and whether we are strong or weak is formed by our environment and our natural personality combined.. I once knew identical twins and even though I could not most of the time tell them apart by looking, I could however tell by their actions and ways. The same in everyway except the soul that formed the personality, maybe this is how a mother can always tell which is which..

Answer 5

I believe you are born with some but it can increase or decrease depending on your life. When you are very little it is up to your parents and relatives to boost your self esteem. However, we go through a lot of stuff during our lives and it can either lower it or boost it. If you were constantly told you were ugly or fat or something negative then your esteem will be low. If you were told that you were smart and attractive and other good things then your esteem will be high. How our peers react to us also affect our esteem also. You want to surround yourself with people that are good for your self esteem from the time you are little until you pass on.

Answer 6

I believe that some people are born with a more outgoing personality. Some people are born risk-takers. Some have a natural instinct to play it safe.

However, self esteem is mostly learned behavior. You have to like yourself and be secure in your beliefs (political, religious, etc.). If you are confident in who you are and what you believe, you will be self-confident because no one will be able to shake your foundation.

Remember that the way people treat you is more a reflection on them and their insecurities than it is on you. Confident people aren't rude to others and treat everyone with respect.

Answer 7

I think a little of both. But I think it is mostly learned. I think poor self esteem can be unlearned as well. Try to stay away from caffeine and other stimulents. Learn some breathing techniques and know that you are a child of God. Heavenly Father loves you. There is a scripture that says "I give unto men their weaknesses so that they will turn unto me and I will make them their strength".

Answer 8

We are born with a specific temperment. We also have a genetic tendency to have an mental illness or not have one. Self esteem is related to life experience. It can have to do with how our parents treat us and how they feel about themselves. It also can have to do with how we are treated by our peer group. In your second sentence it seems like you are talking about something biochemical unless something bad has happened to you. Either way you should get some psychiatric help. Counselling and Psychiatry (Medication) can help you through this. You can feel better. Talk it through with a professional.

Answer 9

It has to do with family and parents mostly. Children that have parents who support them all the time, by protecting them, showing what their right are and letting them know what they deserve to have, are usually quite confident. If for example a teacher mistreats them , and then the parents go and complain and shout at him, in front of their child it builds his/hers self esteem. When children are left vulnerable, and they get no protection and support then they have a lower self esteem.

Answer 10

I think some grow so self-assured that not much can knock 'em out.

I was very assured until my Mother always knocked the idea down and ever since I've been the opposite!