I have this Christian friend. He's a great guy and I love spending time with him, but he forces me to pray with him (like before we eat). I don't believe as he does. I respect his beliefs and I want him to respect mine. So what should I do? Is there any way to ask him to respect me without being rude or coming across as being mean?
2006-07-13 13:03:17 · 17 answers · asked by jill45690 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
By force, I mean he prays outlound so that I have to bow my head and all that too. & sometimes he holds my hand. I don't order food at a restaurant so we can pray over it while it gets cold, you know?
2006-07-13 13:11:17 · update #1
Let him pray, you dont have to.
2006-07-13 13:07:01 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off you should talk to him about it.
However what I believe you should end up doing is giving your friend a moment of silence, in other words don't start eating until he is done with his prayer. I know this sounds rediculace, but truthfully what harm comes from waiting a minute.
See the truth is it is extremely mean to force somebody to do what they don't want to do, however it is also rude not to respect somebodies beliefs.
No, I'm not saying you should pray with them or anything like that, all I'm saying is wait the 30 seconds to eat.
added: he should respect you to not pray out loud or hold your hand. As for the food getting cold. 30 seconds, at most a minute, is not going to make the food cold.
2006-07-13 20:13:08 · answer #2 · answered by darksphyx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how anyone "forces" you to pray. Does he try to make you say something to God out loud? Or do you mean that he himself prays out loud so that you feel like it would be rude to begin eating while he is talking to his god?
If it is the latter, what is wrong by just being quiet until he finishes? Second hand smoke causes cancer, but I wasn't aware that second-hand religion ever caused anyone any harm.
If he is insisting that you say something too, what is wrong with a polite "no, thanks"?
PS: Keep in mind that he is probably not going to stop praying to his god before mealtime just because you say something about it. He might pray to himself quietly if you politely ask him to, and explain that it makes you feel awkward. I agree with the person above that the food won't cool off fast enough in just a minute or so that it affects the taste.
2006-07-13 20:15:31 · answer #3 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean he's asking you to bow your head while he prays silently? Or actually pray out loud with him? If it's the first, just sitting there quietly, even with your head bowed, is polite but not necessarily praying with him. If it's the second, then you have to tell him how you feel. Start by telling him how much you enjoy being with him, then tell him you want to share your beliefs with him the way he has his with you. If he won't accept this, he wasn't such a great guy after all.
2006-07-13 20:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by tankpixie63 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "forces" part of the prelude to this question is of great concern.
The short answer is multiple choice and depends on your assessment of the value of this person in your life:
1. It's time to be forceful and re-emphasize your beliefs
2. It's time to find another friend
3. Engage in prayer and see where it leads
Asking how to obtain respect from someone who is forcing you to act against your beliefs (assuming they are aware of your beliefs) is something of an oxymoron.
The question (back to you) is: Who is being mean? The person who won't allow room for your belief or the person who won't stand up for their belief?
2006-07-13 20:17:21 · answer #5 · answered by threew01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you were to tell him that you respect his beliefs and his desire to pray before meals, but that you need him to respect your wishes too and that you don't wish to pray with him, it would come across and genuine and not mean or rude.
2006-07-13 20:10:42 · answer #6 · answered by Danaerys 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Praying before meals is one of the norms for christians. If you don't believe, don't do it, but don't try to tell him not to. He can't force you to pray, I'd imagine it wouldn't count then anyway. Just say, "you go ahead, I'd rather not".
2006-07-13 20:09:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him know that you are not comfortable with joining him in prayer, but that you are willing (if you are) to give him the time pray over his own food quietly. He probably doesn't realize he's offending you.
I commend you for your good attitude towards the problem and your patience with your friend.
2006-07-13 20:22:11 · answer #8 · answered by steves_wifey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say that u dont believ in what he does ( im a christian and i dont force my friends to pray with me)
2006-07-13 20:06:53 · answer #9 · answered by Luna Winter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forces? What he physically holds you down, bow your head and close your eyes? Get real.
2006-07-17 16:09:32 · answer #10 · answered by brndnbeaman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by force?
He holds your head down and covers your eyes?
Honestly , if you do not feel led to pray or give thanks for your meal, just stay quiet and still while he does.
2006-07-13 20:07:42 · answer #11 · answered by cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋