me n this guy were making out n stuff, but he ended up sexually assautling me....i tried letting him know i didnt want sex by nudging him and tryin to get his attention but he was toally ignoring me. i didnt want to do it and i let him know, and according to my therapst that shuld jhave been enough. its been a year since it happened, and at the time of the incident i was wit my current b/f. i didnt tell my b/f he had sex wit me....its been a yr and i still havnt said somethin. how do i tell him now? he's going to b mad that i've been lieing to him about wat really happened....and hes gonna blame me for not bein strong enough to take back control when it happened.....hes gunna be suspicious of why ive waited for so long, too.........
Additional Details
He already knows about tha making out part, he's ok w/ it now.
i told my b/f up until he started havin sex wit me an he himself called it sexual asasult too....
2006-07-13 12:32:45 · 8 answers · asked by suzi q 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I know this is difficult, but you have two options: Keep this to yourself and telling your boyfriend. There is no middle ground. Sure, you could choose to keep it to yourself, but it is obviously eating at you, so this is not really an option, and your only real option is to tell your boyfriend.
There are two possible reactions from him: 1) If he loves you, he'll show it by being supportive of your situation and will realize that this wasn't your fault and he won't blame you... and 2) He will blame you and leave you... which means that you'd be better off without him. You don't want a man in your life to judge you for a situation that was beyond your control.... or to do so over the years every time you have a fight.
2006-07-13 12:39:32 · answer #1 · answered by imagineworldwide 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You will probably say "practice what you preach", but here it goes.
I believe you should tell him. It makes you so uncomfortable withholding the truth. Why do you think he will blame you? What kind of person is he to do such a thing? He does not sound like the kind of man who would do that. If he got over something that you were totally responsible for , (which was cheating), why would he not get over something that was not your fault? He might get mad at you for not trusting him to tell him right away, but if he could accept the fact that you cheated on him, he could probably accept the fact that this was not your fault...
And now a comment for you:
You say that you were making out with this guy...
That's not being very sincere... There's a saying in Mexico that says "El Hombre llega hasta donde la mujer quiere..."
Which means that a man will go as far as a woman will allow...
Maybe this guy got the wrong idea when you tried to stop him, I mean after all, you were making out...
2006-07-13 19:46:24 · answer #2 · answered by Magy G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start with something like this: "I have been keeping something from you, and I hope you will forgive me, because I want to tell you the truth and get it off my mind. I think you are a sufficiently understanding person that you will forgive me, but in any case, think you deserve to know." With a build-up like that, all he can do is be a real gentleman and comfort you. Acknowledge that you should have been more emphatic with the guy who didn't take a subtle "no" for an answer, but explain that you were confused and afraid.
2006-07-13 19:40:26 · answer #3 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, apparently you've been raped! So if he loves you he shouldn't get angry at all, more like sad. If he is a very sensitive guy you might consider not telling him ever - not just for his sake , but also for yours - I think it's possible you'll 'get over it' sooner if you do not involve him. Telling him means hours of talking about it. It depends on you and only you..maybe talking will help or it may ruin your relationship. Think hard about your boyfriend's character, sensitivity etc and then decide.
2006-07-13 19:47:46 · answer #4 · answered by ganja_sonicpixie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO OFFENSE BUT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE OUT WITH SOMEONE THAT WASN'T YOUR BOYFRIEND. YOU KIND OF PUT YOURSELF IN THE SITUATION. BUT, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE. NOW YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FACE A WHOLE NEW SET OF EMOTIONS. IF I WAS YOU, TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND, BUT BE PREPARED TO LOSE HIM. YOU'VE LIED TO HIM FOR OVER A YEAR, AND THAT JUST MAY NOT BE FORGIVABLE.
2006-07-13 19:38:23 · answer #5 · answered by MR. RETARDO III 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have told someone else then perhaps let them accompany you to speak with your b/f at the time.
Yes way to go first response!!! I agree with her, call the cops.
2006-07-13 19:36:11 · answer #6 · answered by caz_v8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if he really loves you it shouldn't matter how long ago it was, because it is a hard subject to bring up ,but i think you should tell him asap
2006-07-13 19:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by Todd W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell the cops first
2006-07-13 19:35:50 · answer #8 · answered by Blondiee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋