how can i feel better?

Question

my parents got a divorce 6 years ago and i still don't think i'm over it, and people telling me how much my parents love me really doesn't help. i know they do, and i think they're gigantic idiots for divorcing. but it's still an unresolved issue that makes me find it hard to trust anyone and let anyone in. i have walls built against anyone i meet and these walls take years to tear down. and they rebuild really quickly as a part of low self esteem and high self consciousness. and lately, i'm kind of thinking i've developed a small depression because of it. i feel as if the reins to my life are right in front of me, but i just can't quite reach it. how can i take control of my life?

Answer 1

At this point I would go see a therapist so you can work through all the issues you have with someone who can not tell a single soul what you have to say. Someone who doesn't "know" your family, someone impartial. It'll work out for you. Take control and call tomorrow.

Answer 2

I would absolutely consider professional counseling. You are NOT responsible for what your parents do. I think your problem is really repressed anger. You are angry at your parents for putting you through this. I wish you had mentioned your age, because the earlier this happens to children, the harder it can be to resolve, especially on your own. Have you talked to both parents about how you feel. I mean really talk to them... tell them exacty how you feel, how it has turned into a trust issue. Heck you probably don't think you can trust them to love you, because after all they said they loved each other at one time, then changed their minds. You might wonder if they will change their mind about you, and that makes you anxious, and angry about the situation. Your self esteem is usually a direct result of your upbringing. I don't know what you are self conscious about, unless it's your saddness about the whole thing. It's hard to go forward when you are always looking back.

I hope you find the road to wellness and happiness. Don't let it get out of hand. Seek help if you continue down the spiral of depression.

Answer 3

believe it or not, i know exactly how you feel. i went through the same problem as you are right now. my parents have been divorced for four years, and i'm still not completely over it, but i cope. the way i got passed all the sadness is by talking to them and getting the full story on why they divorced. i also talked to close friends about my issues when i felt like i was really upset and i couldn't handle it. if you've got really good friends, they can be a great support system. it may be a good idea for you to talk to a phychiatrist also. it may be weird for the first couple of sessions, but it's a good way to vent and everything you say is completely confidential. hope everything works out for you.

Answer 4

My parents are also divorced, and in the past I had a hard time of it also.
Only you yourself will know how much your parents love you. They will be able to show it to you in their own individual ways now that they are apart.
You have to start thinking about yourself now. Whats done is done you can't force your parents to be together.
Concentrate on your life and what you want to do with it.
Get a counsellor so you can talk about all the difficulties you have with your parents divorce.

Answer 5

Are you able to get one on one and talk to someone about how you're feeling? A friend, a Pastor or a psychologist. Letting them hear you out is helpful. Also, you must forgive everyone in your familly, including yourself. Unforgiveness is a tricky thing, many times we don't even know we're harboring, yet it is hindering our wholeness and complete-ness. Do you have a relationship with the LORD. You can confess and cry out to Him and in your sincerity, He can and will heal you. You may be mad at Him and that's fine...but He really would be your quickest most final road to recovery.

Books by Iyanla Vanzant may help you. They are about accepting HUGE pain and error in our lives and then receiving (you really don't have to fight for it, see) the lives and emotions that we DESERVE. You deserve to feel good, whole, happy and ready for love. Speaking of Ready for Love, you should listen over and over to the healing meditative song of the same name by India.Irie. Hope you're better soon.
With love,
~Sleek

Answer 6

you know when i read your question suddenly i remember a part of scorpions song which says : love only love car break down the walls someday ! just try to see the world positive .

Answer 7

once again... please e-mail me... i just want to talk...