The first time that I meet a guy we talk right off the bat, but like the second time that I see him like I'm afraid to talk to him. I think that it may be because I'm afraid of the guy liking me, because I don't want to hurt him. Do you think it's because I'm afraid of falling for a guy? I just get nervouse the next time that I see him in person. What should I do?
2006-07-13 11:13:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you psych yourself up too much after the first meeting. You think that the second one has to top the first one, and maybe you are afraid to talk to him the second time because you're afraid he's going to let you down. So what I think you should do after you talk to them the first time, is try not to think about them at all, or the great conversation you had with them. So that when you see them again, you'll just fall into conversation where you first left off. Nerves are natural, you just need to learn to over come them. Which take A LOT of practise.
2006-07-13 11:17:42 · answer #1 · answered by Carrie P 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the first time you meet someone, (unless you are shy or introverted) it is easy to talk about anything because you and the other person want to express your personalities. the first stage in any relationship is expressing your individuality. in this stage people share interests, dislikes, opinions, ideas etc... you are most open about topics and feelings. this first stage is a phase. i say this because you want to be on your best behavoir. you want to make an empression. the next stage is the stage where you say you are afraid to talk. perhaps you clam up because you feel you may not live up to all the talk you shared before. meaning... you might have showed him the best of your personality traits and now the second time around you think he might see the real you. i dont mean this in a bad way- we all put on our best face when we meet people we are interested in, how much of your true self you do or do not show is really a factor on your next encounter. example- say you are on a plane travelling by yourself, you meet a really cool guy, you know your chances of seeing him again are 1 in a million. and you want to empress. do you tell him you are a librarian, watch tv in your underwear and bunny slippers and live with 12 cats or do you embellish and make you sound more interesting by telling him you work in rare book archives, care for your eclectic auntie who breeds exotic cats? you said you are afraid of hurting your guy friend- sounds more like you are afraid of letting him down because you built yourself up. if you really like someone, be yourself. you dont have to show all you got, a lil mystery can go along way. if you are really interested in a guy, show your interest. listen, make great eye contact, ask questions about him. reveal little tid bits here and there about yourself, this way you wont feel you shared toooo much, getting nervous about the second time or third time you run across him. if you share too much info about yourself the 1st time, and find that he isnt all that, then you will feel comfortable with yourself- because you did not tell him tons about you or... show him what makes you tick. you also state you act this way because you may be falling for the guy- in this case, you talk, hit it off, you like him, keep him interested by not telling him your life story all with in the first encounter. be your self, you sound like a very caring, passionate, understanding and smart person. no need to get nervous with personality traits like that! and i betcha on the second time around, he is way more nervous than you are, because he liked what he saw in you the first time. getting nervous when you see someone again that you are interested in - is normal and as martha says "its a good thing" the best to you, elizabeth
2006-07-13 19:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by elizabeth 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just chill and roll with the punches.. early relationships are easy. Czu there's nothign invested. Just see where it goes, don't worry about hurting him till like 3-4 months have gone by.. then make sure everythign is totally cool.
2006-07-13 18:22:16 · answer #3 · answered by stratocastinator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off...why do you label your self as"complicated", Are you trying to live up to that title? You worry too much. Relax! Just lossen up,talk to the guy. Give Life,and your self a chance.
2006-07-13 18:17:55 · answer #4 · answered by Wishee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you can possibly have insecurities about being in a relationship and you should just jump in head first!
2006-07-13 18:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by RainCloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats good that you hit it off the first time you meet but you have loosen up its ok if a guy likes you and its ok if you like him and its ok if you break up for a good reason...lol... things happen thats just part of life...
2006-07-13 18:48:44 · answer #6 · answered by home sick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just be yourself. And don't over react. Stay calm and just talk to him the same way you did the 1st time. I'm sure your just nervous, don't sweat it.
2006-07-13 18:17:14 · answer #7 · answered by momokitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
generally when that happened to me its because I think that deep down I may like the guy, or it could be because you are sensing that he likes you and you are definatly not into him.
2006-07-13 18:16:25 · answer #8 · answered by donna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm idk much bout this but all i know is since im a guy i know how girls r and they do sometimes act how u r and it goes fine just talk to him and if he does like u and u like him try datin it should work out.
2006-07-13 18:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by justinellmauer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just nervous.
try to get through it or you will turn him away.
2006-07-13 18:15:42 · answer #10 · answered by minime 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋