What should I do about this holiday card situation?

Question

I send Christmas cards to all my family/extended family and close friends. I also send birthday cards to all my close relatives and good friends. (We are a military family---thus we live far away from our home areas and can't visit them very often).

Problem is, several of my close relatives and friends I have grown up with---they have either never sent me a card back (I always include my address on the envelope so that is not an excuse) or used to, but don't anymore.

Frankly, it hurts my feelings that when I care enough to keep in touch with them, they can't take a few minutes to send me a birthday or Christmas card (or call). I know people are busy, but aren't your family/friends supposed to be more important than petty everyday things, especially when it only takes a few minutes?

What should I do? Stop sending them cards and risk losing contact altogether or continue sending them and try not to let it bother me if they don't respond?

By the way--if I was not clear enough---my husband and I (and kids) are the military family. We are away from our homes.

I should probably also reinterate that getting a call from them would also be okay (although I'm not great on the phone). In my holiday cards, I usually add more than just "happy birthday" or "Merry Christmas"---I sum up what our family has been doing that year. Just to be clear :-)

Answer 1

Thats sad but thats how people are, one thing they don't seem to be worried that if they don't send you a card that they will lose contact with you, so you can let them affect you and change the way you do things and not send them for a year or so. Or you can stay the person you are, and the one thing you enjoy and be yourself. Good luck and Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to you!

Answer 2

I too am a military family and go through the same thing. I send out 75 christmas cards a year and get about 15 back. I send gifts sometimes and never hear a thank you let alone a card in return. I feel yah... i just tell myself, that i'm the bigger and gooder person. Two wrongs don't make a right. I feel good knowing i do everything I can to let people know i am thinking of them. That makes me feel good in my heart. Maybe you should try sending email cards instead. cheaper option for those that give you no feedback Ever!

Answer 3

Well, I have stopped to send holiday cards altogether - only if I'm away more than three weeks I might send say 5 cards.

People you only have contact by writing Christmas and holiday cards - well what's the sense of it?? For me people are only interesting as long as I can either meet them or at least talk on the phone.

So take it easy and consider what's the real benefit of keeping the contact - and even then there are better ways than sending holiday cards.

Answer 4

Stop sending them. Nobody cares anymore. What is going to happen if you don't'? Nothing right. For the past two years I have gone on vacation during the holidays and I have ended up not sending a single one. There were no repercussions so I have decided not send any this year. It's such a waste of time. People just end up throwing out the garbage once the season is over.

Answer 5

Some people just don't send holiday cards. There are many reasons for this. Busy-ness is one. Economics is another. They're not cheap, and putting postage on a ton of cards gets pricey as well.
I, personally, don't send them because they are wasteful of natural resources (you cut down a tree to make cards, and then they end up in a landfill). I'm not a tree-hugger or anything, it's just a small thing I've chosen not to do because it is blatantly wasteful. I don't condemn people who do send them, nor do I get upset when I receive them, I have just made a choice not to engage in that activity. Instead, I call the people I want to visit with and talk to them.

If you want to send cards to people as your way of keeping up your relationships with them, then do it. You can't make other people respond to your card with a card, and if the fact that they don't do it bothers you, cross them off your list. Try calling these people at Christmas and on their birthdays instead. If the reception you get to your call is cool, or if they don't respond in kind, then ask yourself whether this one-sided relationship is worth the effort it takes from you to keep it going.

Answer 6

Make your card personal to them, not just a form letter.

Honestly though, I am the same way, some people just don't send card. They feel it's too expensive.

I'd keep sending them so they know how you are doing.

Angela

Answer 7

You said you were a military family.

some of those people are in places with a crisis ( even if they aren't in a war zone.) I'm sure they like to hear what the family is doing.

I understand that your feelings are hurt - mine would be, too.

but it boils down to 2 questions:
Do you want to try to stay in contact? (i think you do)
Are you sending cards just so you will get some back?

only you can answer the last one.


some people just aren't as good at keeping in touch. i am one of them.

Answer 8

In a letter sent with the card, explain that it is costly to send so many to everyone for all occasions and at this point in time you will be cutting back. Then pick and choose who gets a card and what for. One card per person, for one occasion, per year.

Answer 9

Tell them how you feel. Write it all down in the next card you send them.

Answer 10

Maybe write "I hope to hear from you soon" on the next cards you send - that might be enough of a hint.