My niece slaps her mom, throws fits at the stores, bites herself when she doesn't get her way, pulls her hair.

Question

She is only 2 and throws tamptrums, like you wouldn't believe. My sister doesn't know how to disipline her and it is embarrassing for her when her child does that in public. She screams and screams at the stores!!! My sister needs help on how to disipline her...Any suggestions?

Answer 1

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Answer 2

Two years of age unfortunately is where children try to push the envelope. The fact that she is already getting away with beating her mom says that your sister is not in control your niece is.
I'm not a fan of spanking, but try this: Next time she starts screaming, march her into the bathroom or and take her into a stall. If a bathroom is not handy, pull er aside out of the flow of regular trafiic.Take both of her arms, holding her tightly so that she can not move. Tell her very firmly to knock it off, that her behavior is not okay. If she struggles, hold her tighter. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT SHAKE HER!!!!!
Make sure you are looking her in the eye when you talk to her. If she keeps it up, take her home and put her in a room where there is nothing for her to play with and tell her to sit until she can behave like a human being. If she starts that biting and pulling hair routine, ignore her. Once she realizes that doing that is ineffective, she'll cut it out because,well,it hurts. And the pain is only worth it if she is gonig to get some leverage out of it.
If all else fails, two slaps to the behind are always effective. Just make sureshe is somewhere out of sight when she does it. Some well meaning tree hugger might call social services.

Answer 3

Toddlers are going to throw tantrums... it's just how it works and I dare anyone to tell me that they didn't throw their share of tantrums when they were that age, but the slapping her mom has got to stop quickly. If she wants to bite herself then fine... trust me, she'll learn quickly after the first one draws blood. My 18 month old hits her head on the floor, she stops quickly!! Though as far as the loud tantrums go, the only thing your sister can do that will work is to not give in at all and to reward her daughter if she gets through the store without her yelling. Even if she yells some but not alot she needs to tell her, Thank you for trying to be good in the store and maybe next time if your that good or better I'll get you a treat. Toddlers do great with rewarding, even if it's just verbal.

Answer 4

There is truth to the saying the terrible two's. My son's son is about the same age and he also is going through a stage of biting, hitting, and screaming and temper tantrums. These little guys are smart and they are testing the waters. We have found that being firm and direct with time out's works for us. We have spanked him before but this only directed him to hit us back, so this is not setting any good examples. But sitting him down on the floor and telling him that until he can behave and be good he has to stay there. We find that at least 30 seconds to 1 minute is all it take for him to calm down and realize he did bad. Time out for a child seems along time, so I have read that usally it takes a minute per age. or on your own test it out and see how long it takes. After that tell them you love them and thank you for being good now. Be consistant and don't back down as I know you will see good results. It's like potty training you have got to stay consistant and on track for them to learn.

Answer 5

I see that people are saying a good beating for the little girl but I do not believe in corporal punishment for two year olds and I know we have all heard the stories of the parents who are caught hitting their children in the grocery stores and then reported to Child Protection Services....

Your sister needs to get serious about teaching her little girl about acceptable behaviour. I think sometimes we loose sight of the fact we are raising our kids to be adults...so inturn need to be taught how to behave. The first thing is to decide to stick with this 100%...cause your effort will reflect how much effort your child has to put into this routine. At any signs of tantrums you can first try to defuse the situation and distract her with something else...though she may be too old for this. Use the naughty corner when she misbehaves at home and be consistant...dont give in EVER!!! Your child will respect you for teaching them acceptable behaviours as it will enable them to socialise better as they grow older. Use rewards for good behaviour and address bad behaviour right away with either the naughty corner or taking a favorite toy and putting it in a box and not letting her play with it until she has earnt it back with good behaviour. If this little girl has not been disaplined for a long time and now all of a sudden she is expected to behave it will not happen over night. In reality you will have to put in about a months worth of effort to really notice a drastic improvement in her behaviour.

I do not believe that toddlers "throw tantrums" and this is part of their growing up. I have a two year old who will never throw a tantrum as she has been taught how to behave from the day that she could understand. She knows that the only acceptable behaviour is that of a well-mannered child who is quite capable of expressing what she wants without kicking and screaming...teach your little neice to use her words!

Answer 6

When You Are In Public And Something Like This Happens Take Her Into The Nearest Bathroom And Spank Her... This Will Tell Her Whos In Charge And She Can't Get Her Way.
And If She Does It Again Spank Her And Take Something That She Really Loves

Answer 7

Throwing tantrooms is very common at this age, they are just seeking independence... There's a very good book that I want to suggest called "making Children Mind without losing Yours" by Kevin Leman ... he actually emphasizes that the child will seek you the parent as the audience when he throws a tantroom... What you do is you step over the child (not on, even if you're tempted) and walk away from his visual area... that's when you are at home... and do this consistently and he will give up, eventually. After the tantroom is gone explain the child that it's not acceptable to do that.. but make sure you reasuure him/her of your love...
A lot of times a child throws a tantroom when he/she is frustrated for not being able to communicate, so get down at their eye level, and let them know they have your attention if they want to communicate something... and you might have to figure out the best way to understand...
Never budge when he's throwing the fit, thus, letting them know it's not acceptable to act this way...
At the store, step over the child and depart keeping her in your visual... she will follow you and throw herself in front of you again, make sure you step over her and continue doing that until she stops.. Most peopel have experienced this with kids so don't be embarassed! If anyone looks at you weird, just tell them you're not her mother just babysitting for the day... let them deal with that! Other times you might just have to leave her at home until she learns how to behave...
Keep in mind, you, the parent are her most craved audience.. nobody else.. test that.
Good luck!

There are also tips that might be useful for you on www.babycenter.com website and they have more age-appropriate suggestions... see what works, adn be patient.. it will be over soon...

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Tell your sister that it's OK. It is a phase that will pass. For most children it stops when they start school. When she throws fits and tantrums then don't give up. Never let her get it her way. Your sister has to take total control and let her know who's the boss. Speak to her in a calm voice just to let her know that she's not going to win this one! When she sees that your "OK" with her behavior that will make her stop. Call her by sweet-names and let her know that you love her. Give her treats when she is good. And if she behaves bad then tell her "Behaving like this won't get you what you want, Sweety" lolz. It is embarrassing trust me, I know, so then don't take her out. It'll be her punishment and she'll learn to be good. :D

Answer 10

I can only think that she would act that way if it had served her purpose in the past. Just wondering, does the kid do this because, say, she wants something at the store? If that is the case, tell her that if she acts like that, she will NOT get any reward for her behavior. If she persists, punish her (though not with violence) Tell her that if she has good behavior, she will be rewarded with something she likes.

Answer 11

Your sister just needs to learn to stand firm with her decisions and not let your niece manipulate her with her tantrums. When your niece finally get's it that mom is not giving in, the tantrums will lessen.