I'm in LOVE with my fiance. He does things to make me really feel that he cares. We spend a lot of our free time together and we're just really into eachother. He just won't open completely up to me. He try to act like he's not really into me the way I'm into him, but he really is. Actions speak louder than words. He always want to be around me, he takes me to all of his outings. He talks about me to the people on his job. He's actually introduced me to a few people he work with. I only know that he talks about me because one of his co-workers told me. He don't want me to know he talks about me.
He get his ways from his family, "no doubt" they are all the sweetest most kind hearted people you'll ever meet, but they're not emotional at all. Him not showing any emotions really bothers me, but he is truly a wonderful man. I've told him many of times that him not showing me any real feelings will lead me to depart from him. I really don't want to do that. What should I do?
2006-07-13 10:08:45 · 13 answers · asked by me 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Most men do not show their emotions. So if you love him hang in there and maybe by example you will be able to show him what you want. Don't nag the life out of him over it. The loudest way to speak is by example and quietly. They will listen harder.
2006-07-13 10:19:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't expect to marry him and then change him later. That's just foolishness, and it isn't fair to him. He may never be able to share his emotions the way you want him to. What you can do now is be clear and specific about what it is you want from him. Then he can decide if it's something he can give to you or not.
Perhaps he is really already "showing you his feelings" by spending time with you. Maybe he expresses love by spending time with you, and you express love some other way like giving gifts, or using words of encouragement, or physical touch, or acts of service (Look for the book on 5 Love Languages--it encourages you to recognize love that other may be giving and you might be missing.)
Whatever you do, don't get married until you've worked this out. Have you considered pre-marital counseling? It may sound weird, but it really is just an opportunity to make sure you've talked through everything--finances, children, expectations, etc. before you take that walk to the alter. Lots of churches offer counseling for free or for a low-cost.
2006-07-13 17:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My preface: I am a man, speaking from a man's perspective
I understand that this may trouble you, but think of what you have said. He's a wonderful man who's crazy about you but who is stoic. His actions, however, will speak louder than words. As a man, I know that a guy can speak many beautiful words of little true value. You should observe his actions and ask yourself the important questions: does he love me, can I love him, is he loyal, can I be patient with him and is he patient with me, etc. Urge him to express his feelings, but try and see if you can't simply live with his actions expressing his feelings. ABOVE ALL, however, if you have doubts don't worsen the situation by going into the marriage with those feelings. I really do hope things come through.
2006-07-13 17:25:13 · answer #3 · answered by Horace 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All relationships are based on balances. This happens because, in spite of the love, the relationship involves two different people. You bring warmth and openness to the relationship, your fiance brings his steady, strong and responsible (but quiet) self to the relationship. It boils down to a simple question: do you feel this is a good balance?
If you are an obsessive-compulsive person, you will not be happy with this situation in the long run. You must work on yourself to improve the situation. You cannot expect him to totally change for you. Remember that your true happiness comes from you deciding to be happy, he cannot MAKE you happy. You have to make that decision yourself.
2006-07-13 17:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Careful what you wish for! You may get it, but not exactly beneficially! read the book" Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars!" and the sequels. Because you are not betrothed there is some distrust on his part as seen on the sharing with work associates ( or is it bragging rites). He may feel there is no common ground in your discussions. Double dating may help you both to open up! It works for most couples (almost 90% of the time)
2006-07-13 17:51:40 · answer #5 · answered by K9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are like cold fish and that does not change. If you are in need of emotional support, loving attention etc...you will starve. Take a good look at home the family interacts. I am not saying it is a "bad thing" but one emotional person + a cold person = trouble in paradise.
2006-07-13 17:13:11 · answer #6 · answered by antiekmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Convince him to have emotions show how fun it is an rewarding it is to feel for others !
To feel for someone when they win in something or when there in trouble to feel fear for them.
To see your children grow an to see and feel what there feeling in situations of jubilee or discouragement an to CARE an to try to help them work through it !
All in all to be a good person !
2006-07-13 20:19:02 · answer #7 · answered by cingular11111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a guy is not supposed to say i love u 24 hrz trust me he loves u alot but he is not that type of person who walks around and express his feelin that's it and the way he treat u shows that he is into u but he doesn't want to show that...ok don't make a big deal outta that set him free let him to love u the way he wants to...some ppl dont xpress their feeling like me i don't like my man to be romantic 24 rz i don't want him to say i love u 99 times in a min coz the sweetness of (i love u) will be gone
2006-07-13 17:15:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray
2006-07-13 17:11:04 · answer #9 · answered by Geoff C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "Relationship" section is two doors down to the right.
2006-07-13 17:10:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋