im feeling nervous, incredibally anxious, and how i'll handle my date tommorrow with no self esteem?

Question

i have a date at a girls house tommorrow. a girl i met while goin to the gym weeks back. however i struggle with mental health difficulties, like really strugglin with my self opinion and how bad i feel about myself. i have very high anxiety probs, and start breathin fast and become nervous sweaty and cant calm down. i also have panic attacks. i have racing thoughts and inner anger, but i dont think that will be a problem for me with a date with this girl. earlier on today i texed her to say, " are you still on for tommorrow?" and she hasnt replied all day? its 9:15pm now...and im wondering whether i should call her. but im scared of showing over eagerness, clingyness, neediness, possessiveness or any of them things. but deep inside me i feel unwanted, and rejected as i was lookin forward to the date tommorrow...what can i do, can anyone give me anything to hang onto, any hope or advice?

Answer 1

I just answered another of your questions...I have panic attacks and used to get so nervous talking to someone, anyone, that I would shake and sweat. I would stutter and couldn't look at the other person, sometimes I would just turn and walk away (hoping that my legs would still work). I struggled through this in high school...I had to force myself to do anything. Years ago there wasn't anything the doctors could do, but now I am on anxiety and depression medication that controls this "panic" and allows me to function. I now am a DJ and stand in front of crowds without a problem...normal nervousness is healthy:)

You may not get the meds from a doctor right away, in time for your date, but have confidence that you can get help and you aren't doomed to the esteem/anxiety issues forever.

Answer 2

You may need to get into group therapy, like anger management, although it must be a very good one. Anger management talks about the very specific things which you speak about. Anxiety and no self esteem is not funny, I think I have felt what you feel. Seek help for your thoughts, it may be that there is more to an underlying problem. No joke. Good luck to you. Look under health care in the phone book, or call the hospital to find out a doctor in your area. Some who specializes in just this kind of expertise.PS anger management deals with more than just anger, it deals with all problems of this nature. No self esteem, is immobilizing/robbing you from the fun you so deserve.

Answer 3

Just be yourself. The key to a success date is to be yourself. It is nerve wrecking at any level when you have low self esteem or when you are just nervous. Take a deep breath, start slowly, and let your natural juices flow. Maintain eye contact. Ask questions that you want to know and respond to questions honestly. The key to communication is to be open and honest about what you want and what you are really looking for. To deal with your low self esteem issues you must look within yourself. Know that you are beautiful and deserve the best man possible who will ove you for you and treat you with respect and be honest with you. Make a note everyday to tell yourself that you are beautiful. If you think that your hair is a mess, try out a new style. If you like make-up put on a little to bring out your natural tone. I would suggest that you wear something that is comfortable and that brings out the real you. Don't try to hard to please your date. Remember that you are someone and you are worth waiting for. If a person really likes you then he or she will wait untill you are ready, that's where respect comes in. Try these things and see how you can start to realize that you are awesome. Also try new things and don't be embarassed to make mistakes. Mistakes happen in life, just laugh, regroup, and move on. God Bless you and your family.

Answer 4

I suggest taking your anti-anxiety med, since a first date is an anxious situation for anybody anyway,,,If you feel an anxiety attack coming on, just deep breathe, self talk yourself to calm down and remember, your life, or the rotation of the earth does not depend on this one date...yes, call her and ask about whether or not the date is still on, then she will know you are thinking of her at least...she may be asking the same thing in her mind...Good Luck!!

Answer 5

Oh my...I truly feel for you. I hope you hear from her soon. If not, console yourself with it "wasn't meant to be." I know you probably hide it well; but I am much more concerned about your anxiety attacks. You don't have to suffer like this. There is treatment for it and it could change your life. I hope you can see a professional for it. I like the way you are trying to keep your cool tho'...you must be tough as nails on the inside! LOL

Answer 6

I'd say just go with the flow. Don't call her back wait for her to call you. if she doesn't call back just give her a call before you head over to her place. As far as possibly getting rejected don't worry about it. Its a learning experience. As you date more people you will learn from your mistakes and you become more confident. just be yourself. Sometimes you don't see the good in yourself, just except that and live life the best you can.

Answer 7

Don't worry sweets, call her. You are only being polite by confirming your date. It's better to know than be anxious.
Also, I know how you feel. I really do. I don't have any good advice as I am still struggleing, but it's nice to know we're not alone, right?
Just be yourself, if she doesn't like you, forget her!

Answer 8

Relax a lot of kids have been in your position and trust me once you are out with her you will feel more relaxed. And once you are home you will think, hey that was a piece of cake and I don't know why I was so worried. Just be yourself while you are out. You will be fine. Best wishes

Answer 9

If you've got no self esteem then you have more to worry about than a date.

better get that fixed. a shrink could help if you can afford it.

Answer 10

CANCEL.