Why is it so hard to forgive others even though the Bible commands it?

Question

Does the hurt and anquish ever heal or get better?

I have been verbally dumped on by people and certain people have exhausted my resoruces?

How do i heal and go forward because I am sick of feeling this way.

Answer 1

because when we forgive someone, we are literally giving away our authority to keep saying "n'yah, n'yah, n'yah" and "i told you so's" to that person.

we are too cheap to give anything away. thank God, that He does not play by that rule....

-eagle

Answer 2

I went through a very hard time awhile ago. My heart just kept filling with hate, each day more and more. I went and talked to someone I felt could help me with this problem, I had made it mine because I had a hard time living like this, and could not be myself. I did not forgive the person for the horrible things they did, but I did learn to trust enough in the Lord that God will make all right in the end, and I handed the hate over to him to deal with. My heart lightened immediately, and I was able to get back to being myself, smiling again, and moved forward past the pain.
ALthough I no longer see these people that made me feel this way, I no longer feel the need to hurt them or see them hurt in any way any more. Maybe that is what the Bible means by forgivness.

Answer 3

First off you really need to know what love is. Without knowing what love truly is then you can't ever be able to forgive. Forgiveness is part of love and without love there can be no forgiveness.

Love suffers long, love is kind, love is ever giving, it never seeks itself but will painfully reach out to touch others. Forgiveness is a part of love. Forgiveness is freely given, but if not returned then you have to move on.

Hurt is hard somethings to get over, time doesn't take it away but does lessen the sting. If someone continues to hurt you and doesn't care about the damage they have done then move on. You are not a door mat.

Still forgiving is something you still have to do even if you have to walk away from the person.

Being able to forgive is what set you apart, not them.

Answer 4

Forgiveness is a gift you give YOURSELF!
Yes, the hurt and anguish will go away, but you have to let it go. Every time you start thinking aobut how you were hurt, replace it with love, understadning, and caution.
You heal yourself by letting go of the power/adrenaline rush/anger you get from staying hurt. You refuse to feel like a victim, by seeing how you might have handled it differently or how you might have set yourself up for abuse, and then change how you act. Don't beat yourself up anymore.
If you are reading the Bible to comfort yourself, try Corinthians. If reading the Bible makes you feel guilty or burdened, put it down and read love poetry instead.

Answer 5

It is not the forgiveness that is hard, but the forgetting. The memory can be very cruel, but forgive we must if we expect to be forgiven by our Father in heaven. If you are being continually dumped on, then you need to find a new circle of people to associate with. Getting dumped on is part of life---people can be so cruel. Make a practice of forgiving people openly and it might not bother you so much. Do not dwell on past experiences, but concentrate on your present situation. God sees you as perfect and he loves you. Jesus tells us in the Bible to pray for those who persecute us. Try prayer.

Answer 6

Only by making a decision to forgive can you feel better. Even if you don't really feel forgiveness, fake it and speak it, out loud, that you forgive the person. Anytime that hurt comes back up, keep speaking that forgiveness. Pray for help in forgiving, whether it be to God or the universe, ask for help. By holding that grudge against those that dumped on you, you're only hurting yourself. In a nutshell, you have to let it go, and enjoy your life for what it is, and love yourself for who you are.

Answer 7

You will know you have forgiven when you no longer wish hurt upon the transgressor. But you will mostlikly never forget.

As those of the Christian Faith are commanded to hate the sin but love the sinner. To forgive means to Love as well. But that dose not mean to trust the untrustworthy. Or to allow an unrepentant thief access to your valuables... ect ect.

If one has hurt you you are under no obligation to remain in a position where they can hurt you agin... forgiving do'nt mean that.

If you must... move on and away... as far as is necessary to be at peace and safe.

Answer 8

There are only 10 commandments, and forgiving others isn't one. You are to live your life, as much as you can, by what the Bible says, but that doesn't mean you should keep turning the other cheek. After all, how many cheeks do you have to turn? You should also remember Polonius' advice to Laertes in Hamlet: "This above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."

Answer 9

Forgiveness is one of the toughest things in the world to do. Just because it is commanded in the bible doesn't make it easy.

I like to think of forgiveness as not something I do because it is commanded, but because it will be beneficial for me.

By putting goodness and positivity into the universe in this way I know that it will come back to me in positive events and experiences. The universal law of attraction is that what you put in, you get out, basically. If your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, words and actions are largely positive, you have largely positive experiences in return, if they're negative, you get negative.

Do it for yourself, not so much because it's commanded, but because putting more love in the universe will help you and everyone.

When it's nearly impossible to forgive someone I like to think that God has sent them to me so that I can learn the aspect of God's divinity called forgivess.

What you do in the time of your greatest trial can be your greatest triumph.

Answer 10

Because some people just don't deserve to be forgiven. They do something wrong. Once forgiven, they eventually do it again, or they do seomthing else that's wrong- thereby taking that they will or might get forgiven, for granted. Forgiving is gnerally the best thing to do, but some times it's better to hurt them, by refusing to forgive them.

Answer 11

Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. You forgive first, the feelings will follow later. You are not forgiving others for their benefit; it is for your own good to forgive, and not carry around resentment or harbor grudges.

It's sure not an easy thing to do, is it?

Good luck.