We have issues with my husband’s mother. We want a will to keep her from gaining guardianship in case we die

Question

My husband’s mother is unstable in so many ways, my husband thinks if we died she would try to take our children and be their “mommy.”

We both agreed if anything happened to us, my mother and father would take our children as they are decent parents and have agreed to the arrangement.

My husband’s father is dead, and his parents were divorced and his mother has not remarried due to her many issues.

I want to get a will that has our selection of guardians in case we should die before our children become adults. My husband wants one for this reason and also because we do own property and have a decent savings going.

We have no children now, but should I get this done as soon as I give birth?

Who has one? I want to protect our future children from a grandmother who was a horrible mother to her only son.

I wouldn't say I am "angry" at my mother-in-law. She is very controlling, she is not a good mother and my husband had a horrible childhood being raised by her. I would never want her to treat my children that way.

We will not be meeting with her to talk to her about our decision as parents. We have decided as a married couple what we will do and we will do as we please in the interest of our family.

Answer 1

Never to soon to have a will, This protects not only your children but also your belongings from being taken

Answer 2

There are major issues going on with your family about control. Couples do not normally make wills that include guardianship when there are no children ; I am not certain it would be considered binding. People change, lives change, circumstances change ; that is why people review their wills annually.
If your mother-in-law has emotional/psychiatric problems, you need to have them documented. A record of misconduct would be valuable in a courtroom.
In writing, it seems to me (as an objective observer) that you are angry. If that is the way your will appears to a judge, your motivations will be questioned. If you REALLY want to make a case for your parents and against your mother-in-law, you should suggest having the 5 of you appear before a mediator, or a family counselor, and make an attempt to resolve the problems. If your mother-in-law will not participate, you need to document it.
I do not know what state you are in, but since you do have some savings, I recommend you see an attorney who specializes in Probate issues. It is worth the professional advice. Good Luck !

Answer 3

You can actually have it done now. If you wait until you give birth it may be too late. What if you were heading to the hospital and had a car accident? Your spouse dies on the scene and you barely make it long enough to give birth. What to do you do then? Your will can be set up in such a way as to indicate that if something happens to you both, that any children should be given to your parents, and if they can't take the children then have a backup person in place and one more after them would be good too. It's a morbid thought really, but you have to protect yourself and your kids. We have ours set to go to my parents, then my brother-in-law and then my brother. It made a few family members upset when they found out, but oh well. I have to think of their futures.

Answer 4

You are very very wise to have a will keeping this woman from your future children. It's good that you and your husband both agree on this issue. Having a will done costs about $100-$200 and most lawyers can write one up after one appointment. Do it now. No reason to wait, since you won't be changing your mind. If your parents die, you'll have to change it then. Good luck to you!

Answer 5

As a notary public in the state of Florida, notarizing a will can actually make it non legally binding. This is a common misconception. A notary can only attest that a copy is a legitimate copy (And the Notary Public is required by most state laws to make the copy him or herself before he/she can attest that it is a legitimate copy) or confirm an oath/take a sworn statement, in some states a notary can solemnize a marriage. Go through an attorney to ensure the proper steps are taken to come up with a legitimate and legally binding will.

Answer 6

We had the same thoughts about my father. He and my mother split 15 yrs ago and my father both mentally and physically abused me and my sisters. My husband and I had a will made out as soon as our daughter was born. We plan to have it ammended as soon as our second baby is born. I wanted to know if something were to happen to the both of us our children would be well taken care of and I know that my mother can do that. My advice is to draw up a will as soon as you have a child.

Answer 7

Get your will done now and when the children come along it can be modified. You can even put your desires for unborn children. Best thing to do is consult a lawyer in your area.

Otherwise the state laws take over.

Answer 8

I would recommend that you get SOMETHING as soon as you have children. I don't thing it'll necessarily need to be a will if you don't want to do that yet. You can type up a document on your computer being VERY SPECIFIC about what you want for your children. Be sure to type, print and sign your names to it and have it notarized at your local city hall.

P.S. Good for you for being clear and prepared for the future. It's nice to see people thinking ahead!

Answer 9

Just put in a paragraph saying that will be the legal guardians of any children from this marriage. It probably wouldn't hurt to update it with the children's names when they come. A lawyer in your state will know what will work. I hope.

Answer 10

You should as soon as the baby is born, You should make a letter stating the future of your children in case of a death and then notorise it, make it legal. And dont tell her cause thats just gonna cause more issues. Pick the people whom you want your children to stay with.