2006-07-13 07:02:51 · 37 answers · asked by christinegranthamterri 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Have you talked to a counselor? There are also support groups that you can join and you can talk to others who have been through the same thing. I am so sorry you lost your Mom. Take care.
2006-07-13 07:06:05 · answer #1 · answered by Girl 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel for your loss.
In my experience, the first year after a loved one dies is the most difficult. It's understandable that you're still depressed. If you're finding this is interfering in your daily life to the extent that you are unable to work or function then perhaps you could consider seeing a therapist. Sometimes they can help you sort through your feelings. You might need to try a few "on" to see which therapist provides the best "fit" for you.
Sometimes, when we suffer such a loss, we have feelings of guilt, thinking we did something to cause their death or that we said something we regret just before they died. Often there's anger at feeling abandoned by the person. There's other feelings that you may or may not be experiencing. They're normal and if you're not feeling them all, that's ok too.
Whatever you're feeling, I hope you're accepting that this is your grieving process and it's neither right or wrong. There maybe some beliefs you hold, however, that may keep you feeling depressed longer, if you don't deal with them.
May you find peace.
2006-07-13 07:14:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have not lost a loved one before, it seems like the grief will never end. And, on some level, it never does.
Find someone to talk to - a friend or family member (but they may be too involved in their grief to be much help), your pastor or clergy , a counselor who specializes in grief. Not all counselors are good at the unique aspects of death and dying. Check with a nearby hospice - or hospital - to find a good one.
It is not a weakness if, in addition to someone to talk to, you need an antidepressant for a while (regardless of what Tom Cruise says - he's an egotistical jerk who set treatment of depression back years by his tyraid at Matt Lauer).
And, for those who tell you you'll "get over it" - they lie. You'll "get through it." You'll grow past it. Things don't "get back to normal." They can't when your mom isn't there any more. BUT you grow into a new normalcy. You'll still love her. You'll still think about her. You'll still miss her - but all that evolves into a new - less painful - normal.
Give yourself time to heal - it IS a long process. Most experts in grief state it takes a full one to two years to heal. It will get better. I know - I've been there - through the death of my mom, my dad, grandparents and friends. It's hard. But, remembering keeps them a part of you and your life, and you do still want that on some level.
God bless - and do what YOU need to do to get through this painful time.
2006-07-13 07:22:12 · answer #3 · answered by kids and cats 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course Counciling always works, but TREASURE THE MEMORIES. Try to do something that would always make you mama smile. Go to her favorite spot. Eat her favorite food. and remember them with a smile. Your Moma would not want to see you sad. She wants to see you living life to the fullest. It takes along time. My Dad died in 1997. Give it a good first year. You need to put all the firsts (first easter, first christmas, etc) behind you before the healing really begins.
also, see a Dr. about antidepressants. They have some that can be short term to get you over the worst.
Good Luck
2006-07-13 07:08:34 · answer #4 · answered by rellacollins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom died when i was 20 and that was 2 and a half years ago and it is still hard sometimes. The best thing that you can do is think of as many good times that you had with her. It may make you cry but hey crying is good for you and it will also make you smile or even laugh. All those things are good medication for the soul. I am so very sorry. It will get better... I promise.
2006-07-13 07:07:15 · answer #5 · answered by Mary W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how does it feels, my grandpa died 2 years ago, and feels it was yesterday. The pain will be always there and you always are going to miss her. But remember live goes on. For me is been hard, and right now I'm in the process to stand up and start walking again. It's a process and you can do it. Remember she's better in Heaven and she's taking good care of you every single moment.
You will get over it soon. Get something else to do, try to go out of your house often, visit your friends, go to church, go shopping *do not spend to much* it is a huge mistake, trust me.
What I did is I have a diary for my grandpa, I have some pictures of him there and everytime I feel sad and miss him, I write something down. It's a good terapy. I talk to him about everything, everytime I need to.
I hope you get well soon, and remember is not easy, but you can do it. Smile, I bet she loves to see you smiling
2006-07-13 07:12:46 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Papayita :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grieving is unique to the individual itself. If you feel like your life has frozen up to this find a bereavement support group in your area. I did and it helped. February isn't that long ago actually. As long as you are functioning with life, eating, working, school, family needs and so on, you will be fine eventually.But if you are still frozen and haven't gone back to work or school, barely eating, lost interest totally in everything, and shun the rest of the family; you may need to talk to your doctor about this.
It takes a long time sometimes to grieve. Maybe even try your pastor. When my fiance' passed, I recieved lots of letters with scripture as encouragement, and I read them and it helped. Food for thought.
2006-07-13 07:23:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss. You will only get through this if you realize that she is in a better place, and happier than she has ever been. She wouldn't want you to go on moping. Celebrate who she was, and the special times you had together. Celebrate her life, instead of being depressed over YOUR loss. Pray about it. If there were unsead things, write them down, and read them outloud and be done with it. If i were to die, my greatest wish for my children is that they could go on and be happy, and do great things. I'm sure that's what your mother would have wanted.
2006-07-13 07:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time is going to make this better. I am so sorry for your loss. Don't be so hard on yourself for what you are feeling. She was your mom after all. You might want to try some counseling to help you accept what has happened and find ways to cope with how it makes you feel.
Just remember that she is smiling and watching over you, so very proud of her child still.
2006-07-13 07:07:57 · answer #9 · answered by mojo jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this, keep yourself busy, it will eventually get better. Sometimes it takes people a bit longer anf Feb isn't that long ago.
You must of really loved her, try not to dwell on the past and if it helps put her things away from where you will notice them alot.
Im not saying forget her just fdor time being till it passes.
2006-07-13 07:07:48 · answer #10 · answered by retisin2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
am so sorry about your mom. Time will help grieving is a natural process try to remember the good times u had. I've never lost a parent but I lost my grandmother in 96 who was also my best friend. I still miss her. If u need someone to talk to email me sshhorty2@yahoo.com will be praying for u
2006-07-13 07:08:58 · answer #11 · answered by sshhorty2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋