Dealing with temper tantrums of a two yr old...?

Question

My daughter is 2 and 1/2 and is such a good and wonderful kid...however as most kids at this age do, she goes through many temper tantrums and cries hysterically in an attempt to get what she wants...in addition she also does not listen to me when I tell her no...I know that she is probably testing her boundaries and what not but I dont know how to counteract it and teach her to behave...I really dont want her to think its okay to misbehave and I want to teach her right from wrong but I am having problems with this and would love any input from other parents on what they do to avoid or just handle this type of situation...thx:)

Answer 1

Just ignore it. She does it to see how far she can push you. Don't react to it at all. Believe me, it may be hard the first few times. But when she finally realizes she gets no reaction out of you for bad behavior but gets lots of praise and attention from you for good behavior, it'll stop.

Answer 2

My son is 25 months previous now. even as he became 19 months previous the "poor twos" got here at us complete on. I study the books, tried countless issues yet what fairly worked for us became a touch distinct sort of "ignoring" him. i ought to take him to a unique room, close the doorways, allow him whine/cry/pound the floor and that i'd not say a word - purely sit there with him. i'd not look indignant, i ought to easily be there. After a jiffy i ought to ask him something, frequently if he'd favor to bypass have a tumbler of water with me. For some reason, this worked like a allure. The lengthy two times an afternoon tantrums became into short and rare ones, and by employing the time he became 21 months previous that they had disappeared thoroughly. Now, as a actual 2 three hundred and sixty 5 days previous, he's an angel with us and the tantrums look like this sort of distant memory.

Answer 3

I would stand and stare at my daughter with my hands behind my back. I would not get mad- just stand there calmly.
It took her a few minutes to realize I was still standing there and when she looked up at me I would say " Are you through ? " Almost always the answer was silence or a meek " yes " and then I would say " now, Do --- ( whatever it was I told her to do that she threw a fit over )" And I would continue to watch her until she made the motion to go do it. Then I would walk away and for a few minutes ( but not leave the room ) and continue on with what I was doing before she threw the fit.
It takes steady, continuel parenting until they understand that they get NOTHING out of throwing a tantrum. once they realize they do not get you riled or upset and certainly they do not get their way then the tantrums will cease. For my daughter it took 3 years of this approach but she is a little more hard headed than the norm. LOL
One of my friends tried it and within months her 2 boys decided it was not worth the effort to test her anymore so it will depend on your child as to how long it takes.

Answer 4

I have been a nanny and have taken care of other children before that. The first one I took care of was throwing tantrums at least 20 times a day. He was soooooooooooo spoiled by his mom, but not his dad. His dad agreed with how I handled his tantrums; the mom didn't. No wonder they are divorced!! Anyway, anytime he would throw a tantrum, I would make sure that he wasn't hurting himself, the furniture, or anyone else, then walk away without saying anything. I would check on him every couple of minutes to make sure that he wasn't being hurt, etc. Once he was thru, I would praise him for things he did well. This kid was very, very smart for his age, but just spoiled. Anyway, within about 2 weeks, I got him down to about 2-3 tantrums a day rather than the 20!! What a difference that made!! I did the same when I ws a nanny. I would NEVER give in to their tantrums or what they were throwing them for. If they wanted something before throwing it, I wouldn't give it to them when they were done, otherwise they would realize that I am a pushover and that they can throw a tantrum to get what they want. When I was a nanny, the now 3 year old had severe autism. He is very delayed in talking (though doing much better now) so he would throw tantrums over the slightest thing. I did the same thing with him that I did the others, and it worked, in time. It just took him longer to learn it because of the autism.

Tantrums are very normal at this age--I have seen them have them until 4 or 5 years old when they aren't taken care of at 2 and 3! It will, definitely, get worse before it gets better, but it will work in time.

When I have had the kids in public, I just talk calmly to them and don't throw my own fit or get embarrassed. Most people realize that kids this age will do this and understand that you need to ignore them, etc, to calm them down. I don't know how many times I have had to take the kids to the car, buckle them in their car seats, shut the door with the window open a little for air, and stand there until they were thru with their tantrum. It does work, but can be hard to stand there and listen to it. The autistic boy I took care of would throw tantrums when we were taking our daily walk. I tried carrying him, but it got worse. So, I learned to stop, let him throw his tantrum (gently put him on the ground if he wanted to do it that way or grab his arms/wrists and hold them up until he stopped fighting), then move on. I wouldn't scream, I wouldn't say much at all. I would just talk calmly, tell him to go ahead and have his tantrum and we will go when he is finished, then leave once he was finished. He learned that he couldn't get away with tantrums with me, no matter where we were.

Tantrums are not a bad behavior. It is just the only way a child of that age knows how to communicate when they want something and they don't have the verbal skills to tell you what they want. It is a way to get what they want too. But most of the time it's because of not having the verbal skills like we have to ask for what they want. If your daughter is a good kid most of the time, she will get this in time, and understand that it's not ok to throw tantrums all the time.

Answer 5

There are a few ways to deal with fits. My own personal favorite is to hardly react to the fit. Tell the child to lie on the ground if they are going to have a tantrum so they won't hurt themselves. Acknowledging the tantrum in a calm voice - "Oh dear, you're going to have a tantrum now aren't you?" seems to diffuse the fit. I don't believe that a tantrum is misbehavior but it is a form of expression that is not acceptable just. Tantrums are normal for 2-3 year olds as they want to have things their way and don't have the verbal skills to express that. I would advise that your "no" should remain "no" and if you know that you'll let her have her way eventually, just say "yes" to begin with. If you regularly do the "no, no, no, no, yes" routine, she will know that if she pushes enough that she'll get her way.

Answer 6

im not a parent myself but my cousins a professional nanny and the way shes explained to dealing with tempertantrums are as follows..when shes having a tantrum, kneel down infront of her make sure you have eye contact.. have a firm voice and ask her why she did what she did, and why it was wrong to do.. next step have a time out area, where she must sit for atleast 3 minutes.. get a timer and put it near the time out area so she can see how long she has to sit there.. if she refuses to sit just sit her down again and leave her dont pay her any attention cause thats what she wants, every time she gets up sit her down again and walk away, carry on with what ever activity your doing. If she completes the time out period, kneel once again in front of her and ask her for an apology.. once she says sorry, tell her not to do it again, dont ask her and leave it as an open option tell her!
Also when ever your dealing with a naughty child you TELL them to do some thing.. like "do not do that again, please" not "your not going to do that again are you?"

Answer 7

it's the great test of the ages... i went through it with my daughter. Rule #1 is never give in! Rule #2 is never respond to a temper tantrum with your own temper tantrum. Rule #3 is be consistent.

You need the cool temper and even-handedness of a presidential press secretary in dealing with 2 year olds. If you give in, you show the kid it's ok to freak out because it works. If you freak out back at her, that too shows her it's ok to freak out because you do it too. And if you allow something to slide one day but put your foot down the next day, the kid's gonna freak out anyways because they can't figure out what is expected of them. And you should provide disincentives... send her to her room, or time out, or deprive them of something they don't want to be deprived of, whenever they act like that. But be cool about it and say "look, if you keep acting like this I'm going to have to xxx" and if they keep it up, follow through with your threat 100%. As a parent, you have tremendous control over her environment. She needs to know that, if she has these temper flairs, life is gonna suck for her. And unless she has a serious emotional disorder, she'll want her life not to suck and she'll straighten out. And if that doesn't work, she might have a problem that requires counselling. But normally stern patience and plenty of time for her to learn should do the trick.

Answer 8

My boy used to do that (in the store, home, where ever) and I found if I walked away and ignored him he would snap out of it and act right. In the store though I would say what Jeff Foxworthy would WHERE R YOUR PARENTS? then walk to the end of the isle (this way I didn't abandon him I'm just letting him deal with his own s**t). When u walk away it shows them u r not going to deal with this type of behavior. Sometimes the talk wont work cause they r too young to understand what your saying it's a start for one of those WHY marathons.

Answer 9

The hardest thing I found to do is ignore them. At home it is a little easier but in public not so easy. I found that putting my daughter in a time out in her crib helps. She doesn't get any of her toys, she just sits there.

THe big thing with any parent is to stick to your guns. Every time I have given into my daughter she has come back with the same behavior to get me to give in again. Very slowly she and myself have gotten ride of most of those bad behaviors. I feel bad sometimes putting her in time out but I also remember that she needs to learn the rules and how to listen to mom and dad. I also keep in mind of the kids I have seen out in public that get everything and anything they want when they throw a fit and I don't want my daughter thinking she can do that.

Answer 10

No matter what she does, don't give in to her tantrums. She is testing you by misbehaving. She is learning by your reactions, what she needs to do to get what she wants. Be consistent and let her know that no means no and let her throw her tantrums. After a while she'll realize that throwing tantrums isn't working and she'll stop.