My step grandfather (who I don't even know and haven't seen since I was a small child) was invited to my wedding without my knowledge. My mother didn't think he would come. Well, he is coming. I don't feel like he should be honored along with the other grandparents in the ceremony, on the program or invited to the rehersal dinner. My mother thinks otherwise. I don't want to be rude, and intend to be very cordial, but he hasn't "earned" the right to be honored alongside the other grandparents. Your thoughts, please.
2006-07-13 06:25:24 · 18 answers · asked by rlbintegrity 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Don't cheapen your wedding by using it to avenge old grudges. It will make you look hateful, and embarrass the other members of the wedding. If you have issues with this gentleman, settle them in private.
2006-07-13 07:50:19 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try thinking of it like this:
How would you feel if he passed away the day after your wedding? If it would tear you up for not letting him be included as an official grandparent, and feel guilt, then let him be treated that way. If you think you wouldn't feel bad for treating him as just another guest, then treat him accordingly.
Also, would it affect or hurt your family in any way by not honoring him? If this is going to cause a rif somewhere somehow, sometimes it's best just to bow down and let it be done. I agree that it's not fair to your 'real' grandparents who've always been there, but maybe you can feel them out also on this decision.
Congrats on the wedding and best of luck!
2006-07-13 15:11:44 · answer #2 · answered by The Older Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have had no dealings with him since you were small, then it is your decision on whether or not to have him honored alongside the other grandparents. You can acknowledge him at the reception, should you chose to do that, but ultimately, your IMMEDIATE grandparents should be the ones to honored.
2006-07-13 14:39:58 · answer #3 · answered by Scarlett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the exact same situation as you. I also am not very close to my step-father though so it was no big deal for me to not honor my step-grandfather. My mother was the exact same way and it was hard for me to speak up against her bc she was helping to pay for my wedding. But eventually, you got to stand up for whats right for you. Its your wedding, your day, and no one should stand in your way of what you want. If anyone should understand this, it should be your mom... Good Luck!!!
2006-07-13 20:45:34 · answer #4 · answered by gcpom02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't need to be honored in any way, but you should invite him to the rehearsal dinner. He is still kind of a relative. Tell your mother she can pay for his food that night....lol.
2006-07-13 13:41:22 · answer #5 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will find that most of your wedding is not about you or what you think. It is better to make people happy. I never met my step grandfather, but on our program, I put him along with my and my husbands deceased grandfathers. I just put "in memory of ...." My step father was thrilled that we would think of him, even though I only met him as a baby. But realy, it is up to you. what I found out is that it is your day, make yourself happy first, but keep others in mind. it will make your special day even better if your step-grandfather thanks you for remembering him in your program.
2006-07-13 13:55:52 · answer #6 · answered by Lovely Lady 27 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To avoid drama when your grandmother is announced or her name printed or honored have them say "The bride's grandmother Alice Smith and her husband Joe Smith" I would say that if they are walking down the aisle before your party let him, but not as the escort. Have an usher walk your grandmother down and he can walk behind. (It is very traditional, I've seen it done many times before.)
2006-07-13 14:23:45 · answer #7 · answered by bubb1e_gir1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding and you don't know him. Let your mother know what you want and stick to it.
This is one reason the bride should send out her own invitations.
2006-07-13 13:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by logical_centrist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your wedding, dont let him spoil it for you if he's there then just ignore the fact that he is actually there, or discuss it w/ your family
let them know how you feel about him at your special day.
2006-07-13 14:10:39 · answer #9 · answered by keamar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you havent had any dealings with him since you were small, he should be treated as any other regular guest. If he gets upset with it, then that is his problem. Its your wedding, do what you want.
2006-07-13 13:28:58 · answer #10 · answered by sweetnessmo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋