What should a parent do when her daughter comes home with a hicky?

Question

What kind of conversation should this event generate?

Answer 1

Have the conversation of safe sex of course. Make sure she is protected. Don't be too hard on her you don't want to alienate her from talking to you. Explain to her how bad marks like that look on a young lady and what people think when they see them. Give her details, but talk to her like an adult and make sure you are talking to her and not at her. Good luck to you, your gonna need it.

Answer 2

Depends how old. Younger than 16 or 17 depending on the girl, I would address the issue as soon as I saw the thing. Older than that, I think it's fine if it was an "accident"- anyway kids grow out of that hickey stage quickly.

If she has a boyfriend then start talking about that relationship and that you noticed the hickey and you need to talk about responsibility in sexual matters and also appearance matters. That is embarrassing to the family if it is really noticible. Teachers will think ill of her too and friends' parents. This would lead to the talk about sex and why waiting is good and all that.

If she doesnt have a boyfriend that you know of and she is under 16 I would find out who did this. It could be someone that she shouldn't be messing with, not just innocent fun.

Good luck, but saftey may be an issue if you do not know who gave her the hickey

Answer 3

no conversation lock her in the closet.
seriously it depends on the age. if she is young look her in the eye and ask if she is having sex. either way go get her put on the pill if you don't trust her to take it there are several different kinds of female birth control other then the form of a pill. because whether you like it or not if she is coming home with a hickey she won't be a virgin long. so come to terms with it and help protect her from getting pregnant.
of course explain that you are not encouraging her to have sex but this way if it happens she will be protected also explain that it won't protect her from a std so she has to make sure the guy wears a condom.
Good Luck

Answer 4

Well looks like you're at that point when you need to sit down and talk with your daughter about sex and relationships. Getting a hickey might seem cool to her at this point and her friends might think so as well. However, after a while if she is getting many hickeys people are going to start calling her easy and other bad names that girls get called for that. It is important to let your daughter know that this is how people are going to see her. Boys as well. A hickey will let a boy know that she is easy per say. I only got a hickey a couple times and felt embarrassed afterward. I didn't want people to know what I was doing. I guess you would want to show her how to cover it up with makeup, however you don't want to encourage that either. It will only make her feel like it is OK to come home with them.

Answer 5

I agree with ARL, also you didn't mention how old this daughter is. I personally, plan to prohibit my daughter from being alone with the opposite sex as best as I am able until I can no longer legally do so. 18 I guess. Definitely make her aware that you are aware of her hormonal responses and that sex is perfectly normal and natural but her emotions are not stable and forming emotional attachments at this age can effect her emotional capacity for the rest of her life. Seriously, it's proven that teenage brains are addled with hormones. They literally cannot think straight for themselves, and of course sexual attention feels great. You have to protect her from herself. That is your job.

Even something that isn't so horrible as "just making out", really can go too far, and the pressure girls and even guys can feel is immense, that is why I'm going to enforce a no kissing rule for the opposite sex. Seriously, kisses are serious things.

Answer 6

I am a teenager myself, and I have come home with a hicky before. My mum did not shout, but she talked to me about it. She said as long as I was not doing anything else with anyone, such as sex, then she does not mind, as long as they are not big and every night of the week! Talking instead of shouting was so much easier, and her being understanding really halped my relationship with my mum, and over time we started to grow closer. If you talk to your daghter, and understand her and why she is having hickys, she might just start to tell you alot more personal things.

Answer 7

Going to tell you now. You were once a teenager and came home with a hicky, what did your parents do? My family we just tease eachother. In these days I would just tell her that she needs to wait for sex get her into a gyno and onto birth control. You don't want her to end up prego.

Answer 8

Sit down and have a very in depth conversation about sex and std's and pregnancy and how that things such as a hicky can lead to those things. Be honest and open with her.

Answer 9

Know and understand your limits , conversation
we have all been there, so remember to be open about it, b/c if you fuss, then she will only rebel and it will only get worse. Tell her that if she is having sex then she needs to tell you so you can get her put on birth control. Whatever you do once you have talked about it with her, leave it at that, and do not jump down her throat every time she says she is going out.Do not tell everybody in the family either, just relax and have an open conversation!

Answer 10

It depends on how old the daughter is. If she is 12, then you need to have a serious talk to her and find out who has been molesting your child. If she is 16, you need to get that girl on oral contraceptives if she isn't already, and talk about how to make sure that she doesn't go farther than she is comfortable with a boy. If she is 18, shrug it off and remind her to be careful. If she is 25, tell her to shack up with the guy and get the heck out of your house.

Answer 11

I would ground her for about a week because it is just a hicky but tell her if it happenes again she will be in a lot more trouble.
~railmn9000