Why is it that after a year in a good relationship, men freak out and bail? Why is the next girl always ugly?

Answer 1

First, be wary of the "guys are jerks" answers. Believing that will effect your relationships, and eventual marriage, in the future.

Second, there is a rhythm to life and rhythm to relationships. Any decent guy (who isn't a completely selfish prig) knows, either consciously or unconsciously, that it takes a year to cement a relationship. After a year it is natural for people, and natural for women, to start thinking of the relationship as permanent. These thoughts are made unconsciously whether spoken or not. Hence, around a years time, a guy starts feeling it is wrong to prolong the relationship without being able to offer a committment. Oddly, the more he cares about you - the better the relationship - the more he will feel this.

From here, he hits the "Eject" button.

Ejecting ain't easy, especially if its from a chick you really like (which he must, if he's been with her for a year). So, he quickly finds a rebound relationship to take - if not his heart - at least both of his heads off of the old relationship. (Hopefully, without discussing the psychologies and pathologies of 'ugly' chicks, this will suffice for an explanation).

What to do? Well, since women generally are more emotionally mature than guys (but as chicks become more open to "booty calls", this is becoming less true), I've often felt the only way out of this mess is for the woman to say, around the 9 month mark, "I really like you, but I think we're not ready to settle down yet ... so I think we should break it off for a while." And you do break it off ... but you check back in sometime after 3 months later, and start up again for a while. 1)Seeing if things are still good, and 2)keeping the fires burning ... until the committment time (ages 28-32) pops in. You let him know that you still care, you let him know that you understand the whole committment/maturity mess a guy has to face, and you give him space while devouring him carnally in the most brutal way possible (make-up sex!!!).

This is just the way good guys are. They want to provide and be stable. But they also know when it is not the time to do that.

Its not ALL the guy - if you believe that guys are good (why the h*ll else would you want one?), then there MUST be something that women aren't doing on their end to help fuel this tragic cycle. Think of a way to help break it on your end.

Best to you ...

Answer 2

Then again, see How to Lose a Man in 10 Days again and rethink your question. Maybe it's not that the next girl is easy, but he needs the conquest.
And, just because you say it's been a year of "good relationship" doesn't mean he thought so. Maybe your comfort came from control, and he got tired of it. Happens a lot. ATS, it takes 2 to tango.

Answer 3

What does what the girl looks like have to do with anything? Apparently the second girl has something the first girl does not,otherwise the man would still be where he was to begin with. Or,which is more likely,men are just pigs,lol. They don't care what the piece they lie down with looks like,just if she's easy or not.

Answer 4

I'm trying to find out the answer to this question. You are on point when you said that the next girl is always ugly!

Answer 5

She's probably ugly to you because he chose her over you. If she genuinely IS ugly, then she most likely offers him something you did not/would not/could not. Maybe your ex is looking for something deeper than physical traits. Maybe you underestimated him. Maybe that's why he's with someone else.

Answer 6

Don't know but I can only imagine what my ex of 1 day (literally) ex will look like.

Answer 7

Because most of them aren't ready to settle down. Don't worry, he'll do the same thing to her.

Answer 8

1) Cause they get bored!!

2) But she's better in bed!!!

Mr Happy
:o)

Answer 9

totally agree with leah.

Answer 10

Who knows why they do the stupid things that they do.