2006-07-13 05:24:33 · 16 answers · asked by jay_heart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i've told her a million times and shejust says well what am i suppose to do?/...adn every time i hav a doctors appointment she cancells ti to go out of town and never reschedules it... i've told her i need help but she dont understand why... and i've always felt this way bout ever since i was 5 when we moved from home
2006-07-13 05:40:57 · update #1
pray God, so you could be free, go and talk to her, or ask any one else to help you out to talk to your mom...
2006-07-13 05:31:57 · answer #1 · answered by sain_at 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Jay heart. You say that you feel depressed when you are around your mom. The two of you are not getting along. Take some time to sit down with her and listen to what she has to say. Ask her questions about how she feels. Keep quiet and don't argue, just listen. Even if you don't agree with her, it is important that you listen to what she is saying. Then you will have your turn and she will listen to you, if you don't argue.
You say that you moved from your home when you were 5. It could be that she is depressed about this too..
If this doesn't help, are your dad, grandparents, an aunt or an uncle available for you to talk to? Maybe an adult needs to talk to her about your depression and that she needs to do something about it like you and her go to counseling together.
2006-07-13 13:07:14 · answer #2 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
•Make a list, in written form, of all the ways/reason your mom drives as you think, feel or have experienced, crazy.
•Search out a professional Social worker or Psychologist or very open minded wise older friend (mentor) and talk over the written issues out, in a form of an appointment.
•During the appointment(s) then make notes as to what are the true issues.
•If you find the feelings of craziness still applies between you and your mother and not mirrored or displayed anger of your own then have your professional help you sort through your feelings. If there yours... deal with them.
•Write out what you need to say to your mom and then in a semi-public place (cutting down the emotions of mother/child), maybe even using the professionals as a mediator helping you to get your needs across in a non threatening but effective way.
a little advice; “the parent and child relationship” sometimes actually usually do get better on their own but it can sometime take years. It can not hurt to learn to express yourself and how to look at ones issues objectively so that you can have good mental health stress kills. Good luck
2006-07-13 13:10:02 · answer #3 · answered by jaggedart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be a teen. If you are truly depressed, you should be notifying your mother and your doctor. If you are using the words in your question to be dramatic, realize that teens and parents have a problem getting along a good share of the time. Try to see things in a parent's perspective -- having to provide food, home, shelter, education, morality, for one or more children who may or may not be disrespectful, honest, and helpful. Then, ask for a family meeting and discuss how certain things make you feel and ask if you two can work together to make things happier for both of you. Just think, what you do may depress her as well. She matters too.
2006-07-13 12:32:54 · answer #4 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering if both of you may be suffering from depression.
For her, the most you can do is tell her that you believe you're both suffering from depression. If she's not willing to act on that by going to a psychiatrist for diagnosis, &/or at least a therapist for counselling for either of you, then it falls into your lap to take care of yourself.
If you're a minor, you could tell someone you trust at school (teacher, grade advisor, school nurse, etc.) or a relative or other adult friend. Keep trying until you find someone who can and will help you.
If you're an adult, then you have more control over how to get help for yourself. If you have no health insurance, the local mental health should be able to direct you to somewhere that has free or a sliding fee based upon your income.
As for your mother, you can't change her. If she refuses to get help, then you have to decide whether to cut down on your time with her or if you can find a way to cope with her.
I also recommend a book that has helped me deal with my own depression from bi-polar disorder as well as my daughter's. The book is called "The feeling good workbook" by Dr. David Burns. If you wish to read more on overcoming depression and anxiety, other books by Dr. Burns and books by Dr. Albert Ellis are excellent as they address rational emotive behavior therapy.
2006-07-13 14:04:58 · answer #5 · answered by Beth S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom is a grown up...if she takes steps to get away from Doctors, who are you to stop her?? She may be resigned to letting go...or enjoying what ever time is left (you never gave reasons for Dr.'s visits). Enjoy with her...you will look back someday and be glad that you had happy times at the end. You may even get that "family recipe" that she is withholding...or some other treasure. You, then, will need to stick around to pass it on. You...are not allowed to want to die because your Mom does.
2006-07-13 12:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by trafordman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah honey you have to talk to her. What is it that she does to bum you out so bad. How old are you? Is there any way you can go stay with another relative if she doesn't think she needs to change which she obviously does if her baby wants to die. I would do what ever I could to make my baby happy. You really need to talk to her about the stuff going on in your head honey. You'll be ok you just need to talk to people you know and who know the situation not a million strangers who don't really know what's going on....
2006-07-13 12:30:47 · answer #7 · answered by Kookie M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends (Paperback)
by Victoria Secunda
Toxic Parents (Paperback)
by Susan Forward
2006-07-13 12:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need family counseling
2006-07-13 12:27:51 · answer #9 · answered by roonie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jump out of a 5th story window!
2006-07-13 12:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by Pobept 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look for help here:
http://www.adultchildren.org/
http://www.codependents.org/
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
http://www.takebackyourheart.com/
they'll not only tell what to do but they'll SHOW you.
good luck
2006-07-13 13:29:27 · answer #11 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋