Been in a long distance r/ship for the past 9 months,my boy/f wasn't paying much attention the last few wks & at the same time I got attracted to another guy. We got close and we've made out a couple of times.I told my boy/f I like someone else but I haven't told him I made out with the other guy. I think he's already feeling angry and hurt that I would even like someone else.I need time to think and figure out what I want. How do I tell the new guy I need some space - in a nice way? My boy/f looks like he's ready to let me go, he didn't even ask me to stay. Does he still care or was he relieved by what I said? I dont know what to think. I feel rotten and I should after messing up the way I have, how do I fix this? help!!
2006-07-13 05:17:31 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you can't have your cake and eat it too. Grow up. Make a choice and stick to it.
2006-07-13 05:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should think about how you feel about the long distance relationship then talk to your boyfriend about it. Tell him how you feel about the whole thing. L. distance relationship can work but take a lot of work. 2nd I think you need to think about why you want after some1 else once you know that then you may be able to choose on what to do. 3rd if you cant make up your mind then take some time apart. If you don't want to break up ask your bf if he wants an open relationship for a little while. (I think this may end up in you breaking up cause it show what type of person you are).
Last it seem that you are young and not ready for a long distance relationship. It seem that you need attention all the time. I know how it feel but you have to understand they may not be giving you any attention now because they have things going throw something rite now. Or they are working a lot, have school or some problem (money, family, health)
If you stay together you need to talk to him and know how he feels and find out whats going on. Also you need to tell him how you feel. Do what is best for yourself
2006-07-13 12:40:44 · answer #2 · answered by t_d_r_t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are the worst! I don't know how you handle being away from that person so much. I don't blame you for falling for another guy, he's local. I think you need to figure out what you want and tell both guys that. Say, "Hey, I really like you, but I need some time to myself for a bit. I'll call you when I'm ready. I just have some things going on in my life that I need to take care of." They don't have to know what it is and it doesn't neccessarily have to concern them. It could be some family stuff..but that's for you to know and they don't need to know! Keep it short and simple. Then when you know, go from there. Follow your heart!
2006-07-13 12:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by meghanw1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to figure out which guy you want.
If you decide to stay with your boyfriend, you need to tell him everything, with specifics (you need to come clean or over time it will eat away at you and the relationship), including that you broke it off with the other guy. Then you need to do something to make up the damage.
Don't sit on it too long -- all sorts of thoughts can be churning around in both their heads. You don't want that. Girls drive guys up the wall a lot of times, especially betrayal or indecision -- makes it a lot worse.
Just make a decision and go with it. Gut instincts are rarely wrong if you make a snap decision. Don't dwell on it.
2006-07-13 12:28:54 · answer #4 · answered by kevrob8008 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem too young to try the long distance thing for 9 months. That's hell on a young relationship.
Maybe you should jettison all the boyfriends and just relax and clear your mind for a bit. Don't feel rotten for too long. It's much more productive to learn from this, because you can't go back and change it.
You aren't going to help yourself by staying in a relationship where you think you "owe" him for the rest of your life. Especially if he is the type of person to try to get more mileage out of this than it's worth.
2006-07-13 12:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by Steve W 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First - you did GOOD by just being flat out honest with yourself! So kudos on that! Could be you need space from both the fellas. You probably can't 'fix' it all - but you can take control of the situation. Be honest with both the fellows. One of them might appreciate your honestly - depending on the maturity of the person. Take a deep breath and know sometimes the best way out of a sticky situation is straight through it. Take care of you first - your space and needs..The fellas will live.
I'll be prayin' for ya.
sharebare.
2006-07-13 12:33:08 · answer #6 · answered by Notanothernickname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are very hard.......if you are not getting what you need from your current boyfriend, then you need to cut your loses and move on. If the other guy makes you happy, then there is your answer! It's all about being happy! But just make sure you are happy with "yourself" before anything! Good Luck!
2006-07-13 12:27:00 · answer #7 · answered by Red 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
gal, ask yourself who you want for your future? Do you want someone close to you physically or someone who is far away. Long distance relationship does work eventually but there is alot of factor to take into consideration though. Does your new B/f know that you have another beside him?
Well do think hard, someone who you don't think might not work today might work tommorrow. Just tell your new b/f that you have certain problems that you have to take of or you could come clean with your new b/f and risk losing him too.
2006-07-13 12:23:31 · answer #8 · answered by Zal I 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well tell the new guy that you are interested in him, but that you just need some time to gather up your feelings and thoughts. I think your old guy is upset, but he isn't going to hold you down if you don't want to be with him. I think he is hurt and not relieved. Just make sure you do the right thing!
2006-07-13 12:21:09 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to decide who you want to be with and then it's simple after that be with only him. Choosing is the hard part. You need to feel what your heart and soul is telling you. Think about your future and what is best for you. Good luck. Maybe take a break from everyone and be single for a while too!!!!
2006-07-13 12:21:14 · answer #10 · answered by mrsdamico22 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you love your boyfriend? If you do then you owe it to yourself and your boyfriend to try and sort this mess out. If you do not love your boyfriend be fair to him and let him go. Do not continue to cheat on him as that is unfair to him and as you can see is hurting you also. I know long distance relationships are hard but they can work!! Good luck x
2006-07-13 12:26:58 · answer #11 · answered by happyflamepepper 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋