how can you control your emotions and not think about her with someone else?

Question

we broke up, but it still feels like there is something there. shes casually talking to someone else, but i cant get past thinking about her with him. I want things to work out in the future, and i want to give her space, but i think me calling her is just gonna ruin that. should i just cut off communications and have her miss me? ive never done that before(we were together or talked everyday)

Answer 1

Be honest and consider the reasons that led to your breakup. Your answers are most likely intertwined with the reasons.

Of course its not enough for only you to want to mend the relationship. Were you friends before you were a couple? If so, shouldn't you try to mend or salvage the relationship as a friend. It may take some passage of time before you are are mentally able to do this. You have to give her space, however you need not fall off the face of the Earth. Be honest in your communications, but don't appear to be too needy or whiney. Show her the character and qualities she admires and restrain the qualities and habits she detests or doesn't care for. If this causes you to compromise yourself too much--then it probably isn't worth it.

Contain your jealously--as tough as that is to do. Come to grips with the fact that she, as are you, free to pick her friends and companions. Jealousy is a painfully crippling emotion. It can move you toward depression and even to acts of insanity. For your own sake don't let jealousy consume you. Time and distance heal all wounds--unless you refuse to give up on the past. I have been there--believe me YOU WILL SURVIVE.

Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Answer 2

maybe u do need to stop talking to her for a while and give it a chance to settle in your heart that yell are not together anymore and then slowly after maybe about 5 weeks call her and see how she is doing but do be on the phone to long because u are not ready just yet but u need some space the reason why u might still be feeling something there is because u still talk to her everyday and u did not give it time to really hit u that it over don't just jump right into dating because u gon want that girl to act just like the last one and she is not going to and its going to start trouble that all so give it time and space

Answer 3

I totally understand having problems with leaving someone alone when all you want to do is be with them. I'm going through the same thing right now. It's extremely hard for me just to let things happen and not feel compelled to call or send an email.

If you can keep your head in the right place and realize that the more you push, the further away she'll get, you can control that impulse to call. It's very hard at times and I have struggled with it several times, but the good news is, it get's easier. Once you feel the empowerment of doing what you know you need to do and keeping your emotions from running away with you, you'll want to feel that more.

Trusting and letting go of a situation is hard, but necessary when it comes to love. The tighter you hold on, the more she'll slip away and the more you'll torture yourself. Keep telling yourself, if it's meant to be it will be. I think that's good advice for both of us.

Answer 4

I have been in a similar situation and the best advice that worked for me I will share with you: Cut off all forms of communications with her. Don't look at any letters or memorabilia that reminds you of her for 2wks (more or less). If you feel that you can't live w/o her, then attempt to work it out w/ her but if you feel that you can live w/o her continue to have a platonic relationship w/her.

I did it and I felt that I could live w/o him. I needed the space to think things over w/o making any irrational decisions and now we're just friends.

Answer 5

Dude that sucks,
She probably is jsut speaking to this other guy because he is totally seperate from the problems you two have. You can let her know your feelings but also give her space. Badgering does not work and she will probably try and flee. But on the flipside ignoring her totally will not work as she will think that you dont ever want to get back together. Unfortunately as you are the dude you have to walk the line between both as she will probably see it as a weakness if she has to do the leg work. Thats life Im afraid. From my experience anyway.

Answer 6

Forget her. By holding onto the past, you've become a coward. That's not attractive to your ex, or any women you meet from now on.

Move on. Date other women. You'll be fine.

Forget the one that broke your heart, she's probably stupid anyway.

Answer 7

I would probaly give her her space and then maybe she will come back to you. And by the way giving her space doesnt mean you cant call her or talk to her it just means that you should give her time to decide what she wants.

Answer 8

thats hard to think of man, but if you want her to miss you, trust me you be the only one missin', so try to think about the people who love ya and care about ya (except family), if not think about the people who u make u feel the one, wait till she hits u back, if u cant cant wait, nothings gonna change from yer previous relation, but wanting her to do something will only make you do that! so be happy and hangout with friends, dont care bout her, ur cell will be ringin' by next week.
PS: mail me when that happens ;-)
PEACE.

Answer 9

Emotional gas cost more than regular gas-- don't waste it, get busy in your life dreams, make something of yourself, be good at your profeesion, career, get really, really busy, someday you will meet a dream mate- but it's not all that important for now.
Now get going!
Best,
Omnimog

Answer 10

Go get with someone else quickly, watch how fast u stop thinking.