my bf was living close to me and we had a serious relationship but now he has moved away from me and he wants me to come visit. however, im indian and my parents are strict about marriage and dating. we are very serious about each other but we are not sure if it will work out in the end (because of his parents). i want to see him and want to marry him and most of the time i feel he does too, but then he will go say something like what happens if it doesnt work out and i will stop and think about it. should i go on holiday with him for a week or not? my parents would have to know and if it doesnt work out then further complications will arise but if i dont then i feel as though im not giving this relationship a chance. why do guys say that anyways... " im not sure about future" are they just covering their tracks so in the end they cant say i wasnt warned? am over 21 and from a strict indian family. would prefer an answer from someone indian who understands the situation
2006-07-13 04:08:23 · 16 answers · asked by mayami 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i guess i haven't given him much credit here but it's not as though he doesn't say he loves me and all that, just that we are not the same religion and this is why there is conflict between our parents. his parents are accepting of me, but he is starting something new in his life and they want him to focus on that now instead of on a relationship. and of course they would prefer someone of their religion. but problems could arise since parents say yes ok now but they may change their mind later. my parents are accepting of him and know that i will choose the right guy. however, since i have been sheltered i am very naive about things. i am over 21 and it's not about having my parents run my life, there are certain traditions in the indian comm. that u just follow. something in my heart just tells me this will work in the end but with many obstacles along the way.
2006-07-13 04:42:41 · update #1
I'm not idian, but my parents are strict regardless. I understand your situatuon, because I was in a some how similar one. I went on the vacation...it was wonderful, brought us closer. But two months after, the relationship was over. So you never know, and sometimes, you never see it coming. Love is blind.
2006-07-13 04:14:20 · answer #1 · answered by kittiekatblue 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
going with him on a holiday for a week is a bit extreme if u belong to a strict indian family ... the guy is not sure about his future.. he is not sure about the future of u two together ... and from what u wrote i think he has issues in his family as well ... tell him to decide whether he wants u or not .. if he really loves u he will stand up for u and atleast try to build up his future ... that way u'll have him to lean on if ur parents object...
going on a holiday with him when things are this uncertain is not a good idea
can i get my ten ppoints for the best answer now hon? ;)
2006-07-13 04:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow the traditions of your family. He is trying to wedge you away from family to use you. If he is sincere he will present himself to you parents as a man with good intentions. If he does not do this then your parents are correct. A man can ruin a woman's life easily and use her for his sexual ambitions with no intention of a proper marriage.
Why is he trying to circumvent your traditions? There is a reason.
Maybe he is dishonest. To start life on a stepping stone of dishonesty is a grave thing for a future.
This man has lust, not love. If he loves you he will respect your parents and traditions.
2006-07-13 04:20:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Echoes Of A Heart Beat.
In the still of the night When all sound is asleep,u hear a faint echo When u listen deep.U hear not one beat But an echo of two,
One beating for U And the other from him.Urs beats out a rhythm
That says "I love you",The other beat matches as ur heart beats for two.The echo flows soft Like footprints in sand,It beats out a message Only ur and his hearts understand.Two hearts that beat
Forever as one,An echo in time As two hearts become one.So is up to YOU,the answer is in your hearts.Go
2006-07-13 04:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult when are you going to start living your life for yourself and not for your parents? I would say go on the visit. Relationships are never a sure thing, you need to spend time together to see if there is a possibility of it working...
2006-07-13 04:17:15 · answer #5 · answered by bebelucy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i guess you should just not hang out or plan anything with this guy b/c he does'nt seem to feel the same for you as you do for him!!
you mentioned the only reason for this relationship not working would be his parents,right??why is this so??cant he take a stand for the girl he loves?is'nt he good enough to take a decision of his own??
ask yourself n you'll find the answer!!
2006-07-13 04:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well am not Indian but its been around 6 years been livin in Pakistan i can understand coz i know how u ppl are....first of all think about it if he say what if it doesn't work out so it meanz he doesn't love u becoz as u know lovers are blind ok? so he doesn't know what zactly he wants to do ...he says ok it is good to marry her let's go for it then again he sayz what if it doesn't work out these kinda ppl u can not count on them Y becoz he thinks it won't work out as of right now just think about it what is he going to do after marriage besides if he loves u alot he is supposed to say ok honey since u got a very strict family we'r gonna get married then we would try our level best to make to work out coz u love me and i love ....he is not so sure about what he is going to do.....give him some space don't call him don't talk to him just get him a check wether if u stay away would he come to u or not...u know what am saying? u love him but then again family is more important think about it , think about ur father and ur mother they are strict as an Indian family it is their right becoz it is their culture ...it's gonna hurt them if u go for some one after a month .....u'r in the proses ov divorce ..y u have to do it when u can think about it befor hand
2006-07-13 04:20:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you should do is just go visit him. i mean if you visit him its not like youre dating him so it really doesnt matter. this is what you should do, you should tell him yall are dating but if your parents ask just say youre just friend then one day let your parents meet him and they might like him so much that. they approve of yall gettin married and if he reallly loves you then he'd wanna get married wit you in the long run.
and yes im indian
2006-07-13 04:24:15 · answer #8 · answered by Rubina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi m in indian.i noe wat ur goin through.but basically make it very clear r u both really serious bout each oder?r u both ready to go against ur parents? i think u shudnt marry the guy unless ur parents allow u.
u noe what dont feel bad but love marriages dont really work.n if u ppl end up in a divorce how will u face ur parents?i suggest u to wait tlk to ur parents bout it.dont be in a hurry.try to persuade them n if within a month they dont understand u have no option u hve to leave ur parents house n go n marry him
2006-07-13 04:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur an adult u should be able 2 go ur just visiting not duing any thing else + my great grandmother was an indian so guess that makes me indian but i am also english, french, + spanish
2006-07-13 04:21:39 · answer #10 · answered by dark angle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋