Tell me what you would have done?

Question

For xmas, l had been with my fella for 3 months by then, we were going well, sleeping together, having fun.
He was a well off guy and l bought him a dvd l knew he'd like, some smelly stuff, a clander he wanted, sweets, pants and a big card to my fella.
He got me a scarf from ebay,( 2nd hand) a book(jodie marsh's) and dirty underwear.
Would you have been a bit miffed by this? ls that sign of love?

Is he cheap or just a bit silly?

By the way, when l say dirty underwear l mean thongs and suspenders, not 2nd hand with stains

l wasnt asking for dimonds and pearls, just a bit of thought. Would you dump a guy who bought u stuff like that?

Answer 1

I would have been pretty miffed but as the saying goes its the thought that counts. If you werent really that impressed with your presents ( which i wouldnt have been unless you had said you would like to received them, which i doubt very much) i would have asked why he bought you such crap. If he genuinely thought its what you wanted fair enough but if he just done it cause he put no thought into your present i would get rid as he is only in it for one thing. When you say dirty underwear i presume you mean sexy lingerie therefore that is a nice present but once again is only to result in one thing, a shag.

Answer 2

I would have been horrified.
I wouldn't have expected much, since I had only been with him three months, but a second hand scarf, a book by a glamour model- and not such a great one at that, and dirty underwear? Surely he was having a laugh? Perhaps he was dropping a hint for you to tie him up with the scarf, dress like Jodie Marsh and be more...dirty?
Either that or he is a seriously deluded male who at the last minute realised you were getting him something and had to think of something fast. I have, however, never known a male to be so inconsiderate or...strange! He probably already had the Jodie Marsh book, got the scarf because it was cheap and he uses his computer a lot rather than go shopping for you, and the dirty underwear? I think that he probably wants you to be more forth coming with your sexual advances, its his way of hinting. He hasn't developed good enough social skills, or expression.
You poor girl, what you should have done (if you didnit immediately) is when you exchanged presents, take the ones you gave him back. It's not about money. I am sure if he had just got you a card and written something sweet in it, you'd have been thrilled.
Another reason is perhaps his wealth. Was it a test to see if you wanted him or his money? A way of saying 'I don't like gold diggers'? Ask him to explain why he got you the presents, let him know you are upset and confused, that you went to a lot of trouble for his presents. Say that in future you'd rather have nothing, because if giving a gift at Xmas is that difficult for him, and he has to be that rude, then you'd rather not have him bother.
If he can't talk to you, and if you can't talk to him there's no use in continuing. To be honest, I think that his choices of gift have no respect for you as a woman, and if he wants something he should initiate it without using pathetic props.

Answer 3

I dont think he is showing you love, more like testing you to see if its his money or him you are interested in. My advice would be to discuss the whole situation, as regaurds to the scarf, ask him if he would have felt your fondness for him if you purchased second hand gifts, for the book if you are not into the author or content just gentley let him know book gift vouchers maybe a better choice and as for the underwear..... well this is him saying this is what i would like to see you in, so its a gift of insight into his mind rather than a gift for your pleasure... Its now July and if your still with him talk to him about what is expected of him as men erm cant read minds they leave that to women......... would i have been miffed..... if you talk to him and the same occurs then yes i would be miffed not for the sloppy buying of presents just for the fact that he didnt or couldnt listen

Answer 4

Dirty underware???? Yeah. I'd be miffed. Don't know exactly what I'd have done but he'd sure know I was not happy and why? Now I'm a big fan of recycling and second hand stuff but Dirty Underware, a second hand scaff as a gift .... no no!!!! Not a way to impress the girl.

Answer 5

The guy has no class; and he definitely put little or no thought into what he bought you. Also, he's pretty damn cheap. As for buying you dirty underwear, that's disgusting. I've been married for fifteen years and I've never even once bought my wife a pack of underwear as a gift. I'd be leery of this guy. He may like you, but he has a funny way of showing it.

Answer 6

oh my goodness-- girlie i would've been very miffed. i won't lie-- i would be kind of hurt, just because you bought all this new stuff for him, and all you got was USED stuff-- and books and such. the dirty underwear was just-- well messed up you know? maybe you should talk to him about that, because that's just disgusting. i hope he didn't expect you to ACTUALLY wear it!

i don't think it's a sign that he doesn't love you-- i think it's a HUGE sign that you guys have A LOT more to get to know about each other. i just don't think he knows nearly enough about you to buy you loveable presents. lol. just give it some more time-- and concentrate on getting to know each other more. oh-- and pray you get better presents the next time around. lol. good luck hun! >:) i'm sure it'll go loads better next time.

Answer 7

What are you all on about.

Is love about getting stuff- material stuff? Or is about sharing interests, being there for each other in tough times, having fun together in the good times?

You are all calculating it in pounds and pence - that is not love. You don't expect an expensive gift just cos you give a loved one something expensive. If you want to give someone an expensive gift to show how much you care abotu them then that is your choice.

He deserves better than a girlfriend who only sees his value as how much he spends on her.

Answer 8

If everything else about your relationship is great, talk to the man. He may truly know nothing about gift-giving. However, I would take a gift of dirty underwear as a definite sign of issues.

Answer 9

Personally I think you went a little overboard since you two have only been together for 3 months. You should have kept it simple but sweet. His gift to you was very trifling. NO I would not think this was a sign of love.

Answer 10

Erm, my fella is well off, we have been datin for a little while now, and omg if he gave me a scarf that was second hand, i'd refuse to see him again!!! Expecially if i went to all the trouble of buyin him all the things you did, and he hands you that, Have you tryed talkin to him? and tell him how you felt about what he gave you? I know it might be selfish but a second hand present to your g/f is not really nice now is it? unless he was really poor you would have understood it, but anyway good luck :)