If future father-in-law pays for the honeymoon & has suggested some trip ideas, what's the proper thing to do?

Question

The father-in-law's suggestion isn't exactly what the bride has thought of. Bride is concern not appear disrespectful or ungrateful.

Answer 1

That is tricky. Is this a reasonable man. will he understand if you say. "I really wanted to go here." If so then just talk to him.

Since he is paying, cost is a concern to him. So maybe look at the cost of were he is thinking you should go and find a way to make were you want to go that much or less. Or consider other places to go that really dont cost much. Or pay for a portion of it on your own that way he doesnt have to pay to much and you can go were you want.

Answer 2

My father-in-law paid for and more-or-less completely planed our honeymoon. It was great. In the confusion and craziness leading up to the wedding it was great to have all of that done by someone else. The honeymoon was great. It was not something I would have chosen, but I have only good memories of the trip.

Reading your question, you say he has made several suggestions. This implies that he does not have his heart set on a specific location (like my father-in-law did). If my reading of you question is right I would think that he would be open to some respectful suggestions ("We were thinking..."). This also assumes that the trip you want isn't more expensive than than the trips he has offered.

If he does have his heart set on a specific trip or if what you want is more expensive (and if his suggestion is appropriate for a honeymoon) take the trip as offered and 'go with the flow'. It is one less bill and one less hassle. It will also make him feel part of the marriage. Then, take the trip you wanted to take next year; it will be just as nice and just as romantic next summer.

Answer 3

Most practical solution: 1) Profusely thank him, 2) When you get in the car, ask your fiance to have a talk with "Dad" to say something like..."you know what, Dad? We were thinking of doing ...."

If the bride says anything she will be considered a witch. Most guys (myself included) don't care at all about whether you follow proper etiquette. Most guys care about their egos. If you followed proper etiquette and I lost face, I will still think you are a witch.You could tell all your friends how right you were, but it still won't get or keep you "favored daughter-in-law" status.

Having his son say something in private will work and it will save Dad face. You won't look like a witch AND you will find out if you have a wimp for a fiance.

Big Consideration:
If he is in a position to get a great deal on a trip (travel industry, work bonus, etc.) he may be trying to get you two something more than anyone would have thought possible. If this is the case, you need to shut up, accept the gift, have fun, and do something on your own dime later.

Answer 4

I think you should just say politely that you have something a little different in mind. I don't think that's disrespectful. I'm sure your father-in-law is just trying to be nice by suggesting some places, and he expects you to go to where he wants you to go to, he's just trying to help. I'm sure he just wants you to have a great honeymoon, so don't be afraid to let him know what sort of honeymoon you have in mind.

If what you have in mind is really a lot more expensive than what he suggested it might come across as ungrateful though.

Answer 5

Make a written time table and verify he gets a replica a pair days till now the marriage. determine you have an time table for the reception as properly. The DJ or MC will choose it. Your FIL's call is basically no longer indexed on the time table. whilst or IF he says something, basically respond that your dad is the host, he has paid for the marriage and he would be to blame for greeting travellers and different household projects. do no longer bow down. do no longer enable him get the better of you. If he starts off blowing steam, basically stand there. whilst he's thru together with his "in good shape" all you should declare is "thank you for sharing your opinion." yet do no longer grant to alter one element. you're able to try this!!! ;-) You flow, lady!!! somebody needs to stand company in front of this bully!

Answer 6

Suggestions are just that - suggestions. The bride should, tactfully but surely, talk to the groom and the father-in-law about her own ideas, and I'm sure a compromise wil be reached. Good luck!

Answer 7

both bride and groom should go to father and say we realy appricate the gift but we realy planed to go here if you would still like to give us our dream honeymoon as a gift then we would love to go here if not thanks but our honeymoon is a once in a lifetime thing and we realy would like to plann it ourselvs he should understand if not go on the honeymoon you want and use his gift as an extended honeymoon and go two places if you cant afford it beggers cant be chooseres

Answer 8

Graciously accept his offer to pay a trip to a destination of your choice. Tell him you appreciate his suggestions, but you had _______ in mind. As long as you are polite and not rude, he should be understanding. Communication and truth are always best.

Answer 9

Suggestions really are just that- suggestions. He is probably trying to give you a hint about his budget without seeming "cheap." Thank him for his generousity and consideration. Tell him you will keep them in mind.

Answer 10

we respect your ideas and will keep them in consideration when deciding the honeymoon , say we havent made up our mind yet, be gracious and think within his budget.