an irish man walks into a bar. the bartender looks at him and notices he has a steerig wheel stuck down the front of his pants. he says whats with the steering wheel down ur pants. "ach" the irsih man says, "its drivin' me nuts."
2006-07-13 01:53:19 · 12 answers · asked by heawaits12 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Sea Of Beer
Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp.
Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth.
This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!"
2006-07-13 18:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was at a party and someone put water in a glass and ask somebody to turn the glass upside down and the water should not tourch the ground. WHAO? A young chap came out and gently drank the water and turn the glass upside down.
2006-07-13 09:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by shaky shaky baby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adults Only...........Spider Man is sitting on a tall building looking intently at another building when Super Man flies down & says "Hey Spidey,what ya lookin at?" then he notices that Wonder Woman is sun bathing in the nude. He tells Spider Man "With my super speed I bet I could fly down & knock me off a peice before she even knows whats happened." And that is just what he does with super speed & then quickly flys away, Wonder Woman says "What on earth was that?" then the Invisable Man says "I don't know, but my butthole sure does hurt."
2006-07-13 09:14:23 · answer #3 · answered by Cognito 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are some pretty good ones
ok three men went to see the doctor and they quarelled over who should get to see the doctor first.
the first man said
"my problems really bad...i wake up at 7 and i go to the toilet....i only manage to pee at around 7.30 and it takes me another hour to do my business"
the second man then said
"my problems even worse.....i wake up at 8...i pee at 9....and it takes me 1 and a half hours to ****"
lastly the third man said
"both your problems arent even close to how bad mine is....i pee at 6o'clock and i **** at 7
the two men then replied..
"how is that worse than our problems"
the third man said
"i wake up at 9"
oh i have another joke!!
a man named tony was creating an email address for himself with his wife sitting next to him
he was feeling rather horny that day for some reason and decided to use the word *penis* as his password...
he was surprised when his wife fell of her seat laughing and asked her why she was laughing...
she pointed to the computer screen and it read..."password not long enough"!!
ok i have another one...
there were three girls ...a blonde,and redhead.and a brunette...they decided to have a swimming race to a distant island and they agreed to only use the breast-stroke
the brunette girl reached the island within a day and she waited for the other two to arrive..
in two days time...the redhead arrived at the island.
the blonde asked her why it took her so long and the readhead said that she was caught in a storm and had to slow down
so they waited for the blonde........
in a weeks time the blonde finnaly reached the island...
the brunette and the redhead asked her what took her so long..
the blonde replied..
"You guys cheated!!! you used your Hands!!!
i really hope you like the jokes :)
2006-07-13 09:30:38 · answer #4 · answered by pr89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
an irish man walks into a bar and its drivin' me nuts."
2006-07-13 09:08:50 · answer #5 · answered by ĴΩŋ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got a bar joke for ya:
how do you entertain four gay guys in a straight bar?
turn a bar stool upside down!
2006-07-13 09:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by poptopheyitdontstop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay here we go,,,,,,,,
1. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards.
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2. What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
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3. What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
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4. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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6. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
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7. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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8. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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9. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.
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Now some different answers
10. What is height of Secrecy?
Not attending your own marriage
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11. What is height of Activelaziness?
hiring somebody for your own morning walk !!!!
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12. What is height of Laziness?
adopting another child !!!!
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13. What is height of Craziness?
Trying to do blowwjob to a enuch
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14. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Going out from own house in the morning and getting back to neighbour's house.
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15. What is height of Stupidity?
Going to swim without underwear
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2006-07-13 09:09:29 · answer #7 · answered by Tanya S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Britney wants Kevin to shut the hell up!
2006-07-13 09:23:26 · answer #8 · answered by Ben 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a gay guy looks at the irish clowns
2006-07-13 09:14:23 · answer #9 · answered by babyface042504 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
2006-07-13 08:59:55 · answer #10 · answered by EvilFairies 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋