AND IT HAS GOT TO BE ORIGINAL!!!!
2006-07-13 01:23:38 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The Interview
Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.
The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder.
Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth."
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you?
Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
The second blonde said, "Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but... "He flashed the
photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The third blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."
2006-07-13 18:54:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde was telling a priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through
the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over
and talk slower?"
One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife about leaving
her keys in the ignition of her car.
"If I take them out of the car I lose them," she reasoned.
"Yes dear, but what if someone steals your car?" the husband
countered.
"Oh that's okay," the wife chirped happily, "I keep a spare key in
the glove box!"
Q: How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
A: She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which.
A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that
worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It
tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and
our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear
off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear
on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them
apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When
she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2
inches taller than the black.
ah yes... da blondes nvr cease to amaze OR amuse me...
What do you call an eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First
Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for
four hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left." So they
turned around and went home.
What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
Oh,look, Daddy....doughnut seeds!
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
How can you tell if a blonde's been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.
Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
A blonde and a brunnette were walking outside when the brunnette
said,"Oh, look at the dead bird." The blonde looked skyward and
said, "Where? Where?"
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Hear about the blonde who got an AM radio?
Took her a month to figure out she could play it at night.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey team?
They drowned during spring training.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Duh! Look! They spelled Macy's wrong!"
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Tuesday.
Why are blonde's boobs always square?
Because they forget to take the kleenex out of the box.
__._,_.___
2006-07-13 01:33:45 · answer #2 · answered by Prince Charmant! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry, we still have one engine left."
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
2006-07-13 01:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by pureessence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you drown a blonde??
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
2006-07-13 02:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! Heres mine: 2 blonde females were sitting on a bench in a farm in Minnesota...(close to ohio) female a million: what's closed...Ohio or the moon? female 2:properly,duh,i am going to ascertain the moon!
2016-12-01 04:57:46 · answer #5 · answered by severino 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
2006-07-19 10:57:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you tell when a blonde has had enough sex?
Her nose starts running
2006-07-13 01:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
She has a tampon stuck behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.
2006-07-13 01:27:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 blonde's are to the booth side of a road, when the first one ask the other:
- Come to this side of the road!
The other one replay:
- But I am on this side!
2006-07-13 01:29:15 · answer #9 · answered by Nicolaie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋