I'm in love, but the girl i know, is 15, and has already lost someone close . She's rather defensive.?

Question

Ok fine
This girl in my class is 4 months younger than me.
and i have really fallen for her.
She's not attractive in particular.
But she goes in my class and ther is something about her that even i cant seem to understand. She lost someone close to her early in life(her neighbour). And i feel she's not ready yet. It happened to her 2 yrs back.
Now, how i know all this is that i invited her over to my birthday celebrations rather early in our relationship (which itself has been rather wierd!) and she then said "'I am not what u think i am." So, she's defensife, fine
i also had to go thru a rough patch when my parents divorced.
However, she is opening out more ot me and we also stay back for ping pong practice and discuss a few matters regarding our past and otherwise, just to make the tone pleasant, otherthings on our minds.
Now, all i would want to ask is how am i to approach her in a practical daiy situation? I need to know where to draw the line, and
if she'll really have a future

Answer 1

I personally think she is worth waiting for(at least for a little while longer) I mean you maybe right, you may not be able to help her! But I will tell you this...when I was 15 I lost my brother! He was mt very best friend in the world! I was crushed and was kind of mean and defensive at times especially to my boyfriend!! Two years is really not a long time when you are talk about the grieving process!! I really tortured that boy and I really did not mean or even want to! I really had no idea why I was even doing it! Just mad at the world I guess but I am really glad he stayed anyway! Now we have been married almost 10 years!!!! I am not saying just let her "chew up and spit you out!" But if you really care about her just try to be understanding and compassionate and give her a little bit more time. Then if it still is not any better than it probably was not meant be! Okay, hon?

Answer 2

Well, first, she must trust u to tell u stuff that upsets her so early in this relationship,so thats good 4 u, now u have 2 work from that, get more trust, be her friend,have heaps of fun with her take her places, make her laugh,talk heaps,maybe more about your self 2 her, that way she will get 2 know u and she mite open up a bit more get this past life off her chest and get over it and let someone love her again.

Answer 3

Well maybe there is something more going on in her life, after 2 years a person should be pretty much on the mend and ready to move on. Try asking her if she could use a friend to talk to, maybe there is a message in the words, i'm not what you think i am. Good Luck

Answer 4

sounds like you are doing just fine. if she has been hurt, letting her know that you have been hurt also and sharing feelings with her is a big way for you to earn her trust. take it slow, be a good friend, listen and comment don't just sit and nod. when the moment is right for there to be a possibility for more, trust me you'll know. then just do or say what feels right. patience will pay off. good luck to you, hun.

Answer 5

if u got it in u to make her happy, then plan some special outing,(dinner flowers choclates) a whole set of happy things on a full day,(maybe btw classes u think what surprises she'll like? like a thoughtful article, or her favorite programme) then ask...bet she wouldnt refuse if ur for real!

Answer 6

well first of all do u really like her?i think shes really sensitive n emotional if u get in a relationship r u sure u will b able to handle her?
dis gurl is already upset bout her neighbour.take her out wid u to gud place.show her u care n ur dere 4 her always.b gentle wid her.give her time to noe wat kind of a guy u r im sure she will realize n u both will b 2gether.

Answer 7

this may sound crazy but ive done this fair bit of times and it has alwyas worked.
ask her: what do you think would be the best approach towards yourself?this may sound insanely suicide but you would be surprised at the girls reaction since you are being so honest, honesty is the key.

Answer 8

It is only puppy love. At fifteen she should not be having boyfriends and you should be concentrating on your school work.

Look for a serious relationship when you are in your mid twenties.

Good luck!
G.G.

Answer 9

If she's not attractive in particular, then why do you like her? Not even her personality is attractive?

Answer 10

you must just pay attention towards your studies as it can affect your studies as it is you are not in love but it is just a crush.