Every Monday Nigel takes his £10 pocket money from my purse. This time he took an extra £2 because he thinks its time for a raise.
He's nearly 13 and suddenly I feel I cant trust him. He says don't worry. He was to explain he just forgot. Time to stop the practice?
2006-07-13 01:05:01 · 21 answers · asked by Harriet 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am trying to instill honesty by trusting him.
We don't have a car or a dog.
This is what dad3 calls government money
2006-07-13 01:24:58 · update #1
At 13 your son will be testing you in ways you may not expect. His adolescence can be a rewarding time for all of you, but, his expectations of you must be realistic. One of these expectations might be that you expect your private belongings to stay that way. No one earns money for nothing! Sit together and let him guide you about what rules and jobs in the family he can do. You decide about how much money, and how it is handed to him. Money is significant and powerful. He is asserting himself by taking money. He has taken advantage of you and your trust is damaged. It is up to him now to realise that and for you to decide how things will be in the future. Not him. Change the way you do things, this may not be dishonesty and his answer to you may have been reactionary, he was caught on the hop. Tell him lots that you love him. Praise him for the good things he does. Set the ground rules! They will reap you both rewards. Good Luck
2006-07-13 05:20:11 · answer #1 · answered by silentium aqualis 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Your son should not be taking his pocket money from your purse, as the parent (and the owner of the purse), you should be giving him the pocket money IF he has earned it.
And who does your son think he is, saying he thinks it's time for a raise, again as the parent, that is YOUR decision, NOT his.
Unless this matter is dealt with, he may in future see no problem with giving himself an even bigger raise, suppose he took money that you needed for something like shopping or to pay a bill and that was all you had left for that week?
2006-07-13 02:16:18 · answer #2 · answered by freehandorb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry dear. Trust is great, but no child should be going into your purse no matter what. And, it sounds like he's trying to take over the dominant role in the family if HE decides when he needs a raise. So, yes, I think it's time to stop. COme up with a different arrangement if you want, just maintain that YOU are the adult and the decision maker in the household. Good luck!
2006-07-13 01:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any child should be rewarded with allowance/pocket money based on performance, i.e. they have completed their allocated tasks and attended school etc, just as a person is rewarded in the workplace. And just as in the workplace, one has to wait for reward to be given, it is not taken from the employer! Young people need to be getting used to the ways of the workplace from this age, and here is a prime example of one way. For a worker to gain a raise, they have to demonstrate why they are worth that raise, one does not achieve a raise merely through age, but through better performance, no reason why a young person should not be treated along the same lines
2006-07-13 01:13:08 · answer #4 · answered by SunnyDays 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. He should only get money if he asks and you give it. Letting him reach into your purse is too much latitude.
Better yet, if he's 13 and able to make decisions like taking an extra bit of money, he's old enough to have a paper route or another type of job.
2006-07-13 01:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by FCabanski 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your son, that you are not a ATM machine or his bank account. He can steal it from you, then it's time for him to do some odd jobs for it. Show him, it takes work to be paid for. Hide your purse, if you want him to stop.
If he ask for money. Ask him what for, before giving it out to him. Don't just sit there amd let him pick out what he wants. If he wants some money, make he clean the house. Wash the car, give the dog a bath.
2006-07-13 01:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you would not take your wages from the till would you ? Nigel should not help himself from your purse. He doesn't sound a bad lad but just read the warning signs and help him to stay honest by keeping the responsibility for his pocket money with you.
2006-07-13 07:57:50 · answer #7 · answered by Dolly Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What on earth are you teaching him by allowing him to go into your purse. Now he will grow up thinking nothing of going into a woman's purse.
I hate being horrid - but; he stole the money..... you trusted him and he stole from you.....
Let him ask you for his pocket money from now on but do explain to him your reasons, after all, you somewhere, are lacking in discipline
I
2006-07-13 01:43:58 · answer #8 · answered by Curious39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would smack the hell out of my son for even putting his hand into my purse. YOU have the problem not your child. Be the parent and put your foot down before Nigel gets to dipping his hand into someone else's purse.
2006-07-13 01:29:20 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he getting in YOUR purse ?? My husband won't even get in my purse, neither one of my boys will either. It is not theirs and if they need something I may have in there, they are more than welcome to pick up my purse and bring it to me to get whatever it is they might need.
He needs to be taught that your purse is not public property and if he needs in there you will be the one to do so.
Tell him if it happens again, he will have to give back the money and miss out that week. It should not take long for him to learn that one. Because what he did is stealing
2006-07-13 01:46:10 · answer #10 · answered by american_angel068 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋