I just saw the funniest thing?

Question

My eyes are dim I cannot see. Do you think theres something ironicaly wrong with me?
:)

Answer 1

Was it the A$$ Freshener?

Do you suffer from uncontrollable flatulence?
Well then I have the perfect product for you. It's called the A$$ Freshener. I've develped a suppository that reacts with the butyric acid, sulfer and methane that effectively change the fragrance of your flatus. I'm working on a number of different A$$ fragnrances from Fruity Strawberry to Garden Potpourri and hopefully I can get some of the perfume manufacturers on board as well.

How nice would it be to expell unwanted gas within the work or recreation environment without the embarrasement of flatus odor? Friends and fellow coworkers would be equally delighted and complement you often. "Say, Phil that's a lovely colonge you're wearing. What is that?" "Actually its my new Hugo Sport Suppository A$$ freshener, thank you for noticing."

Does this product intrest you?

Answer 2

Want funny? Read these:


A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

__._,_.___


A doctor was having an affair with his nurse.
Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant.

Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and
asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.

"But how will I let you know the baby is born?"she asked. He
replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back.
I'll take care of expenses."

Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to
Italy.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at
the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in
the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."

The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to
you". Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard,
fell to the floor with a heart attack.

Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to
comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac
arrest.

So the wife picked up the card and read, "Spaghetti, Spaghetti,
Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an
end to it by arousing his jealousy.

"What would you say if I told you that I've been sleeping with your
best friend?" she asked provocatively.

"Well," he mused, "I'd have to say that you're a lesbian!"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six
double vodkas."

The barman says "Wow!, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same
drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the
answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay
too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six
double vodkas.

The bartender says "Geez! Doesn't anybody in your family like
women?".

"Yeah, my wife..."


And for my Fav.

Several men are in the locker room of a private club after exercising.
Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up
and the following conversation ensues:

"Hello?"

"Honey, It's me."

"Sugar!"

"Are you at the club?"

"Yes."

"Great! I'm at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful
mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?"

"What's the price?"

"Only $1,500."

"Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much."

"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new
models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he
gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW
that we bought last year..."

"What price did he quote you?"

"Only $60,000!"

"Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options."

"Great! Before we hang up, something else..."

"What?"

"It might seem like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account
and...well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and
I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale! Remember?
The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront
property..."

"How much are they asking?"

"Only $450,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that
much in the bank to cover..."

"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000, OK?"

"Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

"Bye."

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and asks aloud, "Does anyone
know to whom this phone belongs?"

Answer 3

You are quoting Monty Python so you are alright in my book

(so saying, my book is "The Big Book of Silly People")

Answer 4

Life of Brian?

Answer 5

IF U SAW ME YOU WOULD GO BLIND,SO I THANK GOD I DIDN'T SEE YOU




just kiddin

Answer 6

You havent been drinking have you????????

Answer 7

hell yea