How should I handle this?a sister in law problem?

Question

My sister in law was never nice to me.Always acted like she was better then me.Now that I have a baby she calls me everyday and tells me what to do with the baby.I am doing real good with the baby i have read alot about babies before she was born and I am still reading magazines.I am a stay at home mom.She keeps saying that she wants to come over and pick up the baby.I dont want her doing this my baby is only three months old.She is my first baby and it took me awhile to get pregnant.my sister in law is very bossy.I dont call her back or answer the phone because I dont want her telling me what to do anymore so now she just stops over at my house whenever she wants to without letting me know.I am very busy with the baby.How should I handle this?

Answer 1

You need to let her know how you feel about this. Speak up for yourself. Tell her in a nice way, that you are doing fine with the baby, thanks

Answer 2

First you have a talk with your man and let him know what is up and how you feel, so in case he gets a call he can say that you got it under control and if he thought you didn't he is there to help as well. Then next time you talk to her tell her if I need your help or opinion I'll call you. Bold yet nice. If that don't work well you could get down and dirty and throw the gloves off. Does she have kids? If not she has no answers for you motherhood is not an exact science and just cause you think something doesn't mean it's right. If so (this is really BOLD AND MEAN) ask if she got mom of the millennium award cause you've never seen the trophy. What works for one baby may not for the other, kids are like snowflakes you got to figure it all out for yourselves. Besides it sounds like sis needs a life since she wants to take over on yours.

Answer 3

I know the feeling, my sister in law was the same way. You just need to put your foot down. Avoiding the phone is not going to make the problem go away. You need to tactfully tell her that although you appreciate her advice , this is your child and your decisions overrule. And let her know that your time with your baby is precious and busy, you would appreciate it very much if she would call first before coming over, in case you have plans. Your husband should also have a talk with her. Good Luck. And congratulations on the new baby.

Answer 4

She is your baby, not your sister in law. You don't have to pick up the phone, and talk to her. Everytime she calls the house. Let her know you can handle your own baby. That your thankful for her advice, only when it needed.
When she shows up unwanted. Shut the door in her face. You don't have to let her in your home. Have your hubby try to talk to her. She needs to keep her nose out of your business.
Don't let her run you over like a door mat. Stand up and tell her what you think.
Just because she is your hubby sister. Does not mean you can't say what you feel. If she got kids, I understand some why, she would try to give you some advice. But still let her know, you going the raise your child the way you seem fit for her.
If she don't have any kids, well she needs to shut her mouth. Till she has some of her own.

Answer 5

Ask your husband to have a word with her. It'll be very difficult for you to keep grip on your feelings right now, as you're full of a mother's new love, highly protective of your child and no doubt tired and stressed. Your husband can do it much better than you, without needing to get into a big confrontation that it might otherwise turn into.

I would say, though, that you shoudl consider letting her hold the child - maybe even take it out for a stroll at some point? She'll also no doubt love it dearly and at three months it's high time you included her more, as the child's aunt. At the same time, clearly boundaries need to be set, which your husband (or failing that, mother-in-law) can help with.

Answer 6

The situation is a bit crafty. Although you did not tell us the position of your husband about the whole thing and perhaps your cultural dispositions. You also did not talk about the possible motive behind the actions of your sister in-law (perhaps she is childless or not having a baby girl). However, the fact remains that your baby should be with you and I don't think there is a law against that.

However, you may need to have a talk with your sister in-law in a loving way appreciating her concerns and reassuring her that you will take good care of your baby. This talk should come up after you have spoken with your husband and assured of his support. Remember it has to be done in a loving way.

Good luck and say hi to your baby.

Answer 7

OMy! She sounds like my sister-in- law the know it all.. The best way i handled it without involving the family , Tell her you would rather learn on your own, believe me, we all have made our mistakes raising our babies, Be frank with her, answer the phone .. take that bull by the horn and throw it gal, You'll be glad you did...I am 50 now, there was a time my sister in law caused so much trouble, i let her do it, than comp;ained to my husband, what a mistake..Please be upfront with her.. you'll save yourself alot of frustration.

Answer 8

Have you already tried telling her to back off, that you have things under control? If you have and she has not listened, ask your husband to tell her. She may be a little hurt if he does that, but it seems as if she's not the kind of person you want to have around your family anyways. Stand up for yourself. No one needs to be you're baby's mom except you. Congratulations by the way. Happy late mother's day!!!!

Answer 9

Go to your husband and explain how its effecting you, be honest with him and see if he can help with his sister. Or maybe go to your Mother n law and she may be able to help. If they cant do it then be honest with your sister n law and tell her your not comfortable with letting anyone take the baby right now but you do appriciate all she has done and let her know you dont want her to interfere. If she dont understand that then do what you been doing and dont answer the phone or door to her

Answer 10

Very tactfully.
Say that you are grateful for her advice, but would like to try a few things that someone else has suggested, even if no - one has.
Get your husband involved.
My sister - in - law does the same with me. Acts superior, considering she came from a working class background, like me.
I try to ignore her comments as much as possible.
It doesn't matter what you do, she's still going to be a pain.

Answer 11

People can be like that especially when they want to be in control. I have quarreled with my sister and i know how hard it feels to tell someone off. But I guess you got to talk to her, tell her that you know she's trying to be helpful but you can handle your own baby. Tell her to check on you but not all the time, you need space to grow as a new mum and if she has children of her own she will understand that. Just explain to her that you need your own space with your new family.