If a man is married and has children by his wife and then he cheats on her and has a baby by his ho is it more harmful for the children in the established family to lose their father, or the new baby to never know their father? Before I get any smart a$$ remarks I was reading a book by carl weber called married men, and that is what inspired my question. I couldn't decide who to feel more sorry for.
2006-07-12 20:52:06 · 14 answers · asked by simplyfabulous 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
TO: 42itus, if you completely read the question you will see that this is just a hypothetical question brought on by a book I was reading. You seem awfully hostile!!!!
2006-07-13 20:25:14 · update #1
It's more harmful to the child that never had a father. At least the other children had a father for some time in their life while the other one never even had that chance.
2006-07-12 20:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The children by his legal wife are his first obligation (legally, and otherwise). Children by any other women are also his obligation. If he admits to being their father, he is legally required to support them. If he refuses to admit fatherhood, and it has been proved by DNA testing, he is, likewise, legally required to support them.
After that, there're no consistent legal precedents. However, ALL of the people in his life have been hurt. If he is basically a decent man (...and I can't imagine that), he'll try to give emotional as well as financial support to all his children. However, I can't foresee a pleasant outcome to the situation no matter what happens.
Some, or more likely all, of the children will suffer some degree of trauma. So will his wife. So will the other women, assuming that they didn't know that he was married.
The whole situation stinks. Both men and women have to learn to assess the consequences of their actions before they do something that will, literally, ruin lives forever.
(No, I'm not a minister. I'm not even religious. But I've studied family interactions for many years, and I've seen only bad outcomes of the type of situation that you've described.
If people can't be faithful to their spouses, then -- at the very least -- they should be careful.)
2006-07-12 21:07:45 · answer #2 · answered by Goethe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't the father be in all his children's lives? Maybe the mom of the illegitimate child could share custody of the child with the father! Then the "established family" wouldn't lose a father and the illegitimate child would have a chance to know his/her father!!
I would hope that's how it would turn out!!
2006-07-12 20:59:19 · answer #3 · answered by krazy_gal04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say the children losing their father that they know. For a child to never know his father, he/she might end up getting a father figure of sorts to fill the void (not to imply in any way that this would replace his father). For the children who have their father already, they would never be able to have anyone even remotely fill that void. They'd also probably lose respect and trust in all men and can lead to long term trauma.
2006-07-13 03:52:59 · answer #4 · answered by happymommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In both cases above the kids loose the dad. But since the married alliance has plural (children) and the affair has singular (child), I would say that the married hurts more by sheer numbers only.
2006-07-12 20:56:33 · answer #5 · answered by csucdartgirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say. The ho could probably find another father, but I wouldn't have a woman stay by a cheating man. He should be put in jail for doing stupid **** like that.
Then again, I knew my father for a good ten years and I've always tried to mimic his approach to life. He was always calm, assertive and respectfull around me. I miss him.
2006-07-12 20:56:40 · answer #6 · answered by stickfiguresk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking a smartass answer, in your opinion, is anyone who disagrees with you.
ANY KID THAT HAS TO GROW UP WITHOUT TWO PARENTS IS DISADVANTAGED!!!!!
If you're stupid enough to raise your children with a cheating husband, then your children will be more disadvantaged than the kids I already mentioned.
ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!
No, it's not always true, but it's the motto I've lived by, and I've weeded out more cheaters than the good women I've pushed aside. It works for me... Who do you want to raise those kids?
2006-07-12 21:48:58 · answer #7 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't take sides!!! They're children!!! It is not a child's fault that their father is an adulterer and it is not a child's fault that he/ she was a result of an affair. The only person that deserves NO pity is the adulturer, wether it be a man OR a woman...
2006-07-12 20:57:14 · answer #8 · answered by Mexi Poff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be more tramatic for the children he had with his wife. They have known him as "Dad" since they were born. The new baby hasn't.
2006-07-12 21:01:18 · answer #9 · answered by nannygoat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two Things
1. THE PARENTS WITH A LOT OF CARE.
2. THE PARENTS WITH OUT CARE.
2006-07-12 20:58:37 · answer #10 · answered by sathish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋