i want the truth.........?

Question

i have a 6 year old, a 3 year old and a 5 month old. i am in a bad situation. my 5 months olds father walked out on us 4 days ago. i have no car, he took all the money, kept the car seat base so i cnt use the carseat. i have heard nothing from him. 2 months ago i was classified as having bipolar and having med. the meds havent kicked in. not to mention our 5 month has had a breathing conditon since birth..i am scared and i dnt think i can do all of this alone and raise 3 kids with no car or no job. what do i do?

Answer 1

It sounds like he treats you like crap. I wouldn't put too much faith in bi-polor until you have a stable life for a year or two and see if it still persists. You need help and you need your friends. Lose that loser all he will do is drag you down. It takes a long time to figure out **** for yourself when you come into these situations, but you can do it. Find some good family members to help you out, or maybe a womens shelter if thats not possible. They will help you get your life on track.

Answer 2

This all depends on what you want, but most importantly, stay on your medication. Many people will argue on way or another but when it comes down to it, either a miracle will fix your biochemistry or medication will help to regulate what is happening. Additionally, psychotropic medication takes 8 to 12 weeks to reach full potency. Definetly contact your social services and explain to them your situation, they can help you get on your feet and help you keep your kids. Any time you waste in seeking services, even if it is help from friends and family will look bad against you. If you wait too long social services may see it as a threat to your children and take them, so do not wait. If the man that left was your husband, you can file for abandonment, if not, I am not sure about the legal avenues you may be able to take. Lastly, if you are spiritual, pray. It costs nothing and if you truely believe, the rewards can be overwhelming.
All in all, this may be a blessing in disguise, you just need to take a step back, look at what you have, know what you want, and decide how you are going to get what you want, then work toward your goals, always creating new ones once you accomplish old ones.

Answer 3

Try city, county, state social services, Red Cross, Salvation Army, United Way, Medicaid, MHMR, church organizations - anything you can think of or find online or in the phone book.

Any time you are calling one of these places and get turned down for something, ask them what organization might be able to help with that need and failing that, who would know what organization might be able to help with that need and how do you contact them.

Obviously, you need housing, food, transportation, medical care (both you and the kids), utilities, etc. You also may need an attorney to help with child support and divorce/alimony issues. Child care and career counseling, if you need them, might be good to have on the list as well.

Child safety seats - childrens hospitals, county hospitals and the fire or police department sometimes have car seats available for the asking.

It is easy to over focus on the kids and "just making sure they are taken care of". Think about what they tell you on an airplane - if cabin pressure is lost and the oxygen masks drop, FIRST put your mask on - that way you remain conscious and can help the kids put theirs on.

The same applies in everyday life - the best way to take care of the kids is to be sure that your needs are met. That is one of the most important things you can do for them.

Finally, when making calls - ask for what you need. The worst that can happen is they will say no. If what you really need is someone to help guide you step-by-step through all this, call around and ask for that. If you have no idea where dinner is coming from tonight, then that might be the first question....

You are not the first or last person to face this set of problems. Keep your head held high and never stop believing it will all work out.

Like most people, I pay plenty of taxes and make charitable contributions so when people find themselves down on their luck, they can get things back in order and keep on going. Making sure you get what you need is not just to make me or someone else feel warm and fuzzy - it keeps the community strong to have you and your kids healthy, safe and in the mainstream of society.

So, do not stop until you get what you need and do not feel hesitant or embarrassed - it is the right thing to do for everyone. Someday soon, you and your kids will be the ones supporting maybe me in the same fashion! You just never know what life holds.

This might be a good time to make some lists - things you need but also the direction you want your life to take. Whenever things get turned over suddenly, it may be terribly difficult, but it is also a chance to chart a new course.

Best of luck! Hope things are much better, very soon.

Answer 4

How awful of the baby's father to just walk out on you. If you have any close relatives or friends you should call them and ask for some help. If you are alone, you can go to your local DHS (Department of Human Services) or whatever they call themselves where you live. You might be able to get some assistance. You can get free, or nearly free, daycare for your children, get help finding a job, and get food for you and your kids while you are looking. They might even be able to get you into a therapy program to help with your bipolar disorder. I hope that helped a little.

Answer 5

I have 2 kids which I raised alone without a car and a job.I also had depression,but I kept strong for my kids.go to the doctor and get some depression tablets to lift your mood.My kids are 12 and 13 now,I have a 2 year partner who works,life is good.It wont always be how it is now.you never know what is around the corner.I loved the years on my own with my kids,you just need a good routine,and take them out a lot.Even if it is just to the park with a frisby.fresh air,getting out is good for depression,so is eating plenty fresh fruit and veg,fish and chicken.a diet can make you feel rubbish.

Answer 6

Well I hope you have some family or really close friends that you can call to help you out with your kids. At least it seems like you have the internet... so you can always look up somewhere online that will help you.

Don't forget that if you can't get your youngest child to a hospital in an emergency you can always call 911.

Answer 7

You need to go to social services.
You also need to change your medications.
You also may try an woman's shelter. They help mothers get back on their feet. You need to be very careful that you don't crack. You have 3 beautiful children who are depending one you so the first thing you need to do is take care of your mental health. Do you have any family or friends you can temporarily move in with? You need to move in w/someone. Just make sure they are safe around your children. That is very tough. You also need to get a lawyer (free through legal services) and get full custody of your children ASAP. Otherwise, their father can take them and you cannot do anything about it. I would try to move from where you are ASAP so he does not know where you are. Please let me know how things are going.

Answer 8

Depending on which state you live in what kind of help you can get. Call welfare, social services, Battered womans group, any kind of group who can give you help. You have three precious children who need care and food. You have your hands full with the kids. You definatly need help You might need to put the baby in the care of a relative or friend, or even in a fortor home.
Is there any church group you can reach out to? There are people who truely care. Call any hotline you can find and have them direct you to getting the help you need.
In order to take of the little ones you love, you need to take care of you.

Answer 9

First of all take a deep breath and tell your self you can do this.

Report your kids father (fathers if more than one) and start getting child support as soon as yesterday while at it file for goverment help (just don't mooch off the goverment get a job and off goverment assitance quickly for the rest of us) find a car when you get your first check(it can be a clunker as long as your supporting your kids who cares)

Answer 10

First of all get on your knee's and pray to god, you still have so many things to be thankfull for, yes you can raise 3 kids by yourself, i am raising 6 kids by myself, it's a struggle, but you don't have to struggle alone. Start by finding a nice daycare, Apply for assistance, Fill out as many job apps as you can fast as you can, Have some family members help you out, and now you're going to find out who your real friends are, don't waste time hating him, forgive him, and move on. Things will start to fall in place for you. If you ever need to talk just email me. start this process tommorrow, set some goals.