I dont know what to do?

Question

I had a long distance relationship with a wonderful guy. About an year back, things started going sour. The pressure and insecurity got to me and i got drunk at a party and let a friend of mine kiss me. Two days later, i went and confessed to my boyfriend...who was possessive to begin with. He left me instantly but came back to me after a couple of days saying he was going to give it a chance. But things never returned to normal. I apologised and begged and even moved across the atlantic to be with him. He would still sleep with me but would be inhumanly rude to me...ignoring me at all times. I took it all because I knew I was the guilty one.But a few days back, he told my best friend to tell me that he has left me. I really loved this guy. I made an inexcusable mistake but I was truly sorry and did everything possible to be forgiven. Why did he drag me through an year of pain? Did I ruin my own life?

Answer 1

hey we all make a mistakes. we learn from them but alot of times its to late. this is that case. now first off if u got drunk and u kissed and in ur heart u knew it was nothing u should have let it be. u knew that he go nuts over that. you did try to do everything but it was just to late u lost his trust and he tried to get over it but he couldnt and he probably didnt know what to do cuz he still liked u but just didnt trust u. so he had to let u go and he told a friend cuz it was to hard for him to do. which means he loved u and tried but in the end he couldnt take it that u cheated on him.i would be mad to if that happend but if u did all that i would have said man she trying but all guys are not like me. so why he do it to u cuz he wanted to c if it would work out and he realized it wasnt. as 4 u. no just cuz this happend ur life not over. go out with ur friends or do something fun. ur life with him is over so time to deal with it but before u do that u need to make sure its over. try to get him alone and talk cuz he officaily never broke up with u. or u can just shake it off and try to have fun. u made a mistake now im sure u will be careful. im sorry it didnt work out i could see u tried. good luck girl

Answer 2

You did not ruin your life; if he forgave you then he needs to get over it and get on with life, you displayed an incredible amount of integrity and honesty by confessing to him and he should have been wise enough to recognize that but he wasn't.
If he was possesive then that means that he had trust issues; Unfortunately for him I don't think he is ready to really love anyone right now; a lonely woman can be forgiven for a drunken kiss a lot more easily than a jealous boyfriend can for putting you through such bad treatment for an entire year. I hope you find a guy that deserves you.

Answer 3

You haven't ruined your life yet but you will if you let yourself be a doormat for possessive and abusive males who give men a bad name. Two days to fly off the handle over this kissing incident are understandable, but treating you badly for a year is far beyond "possessive"--that's emotional abuse. In time you will see that his reaction was grossly out of line with your "inexcusable mistake". It reminds me of capital punishment for pickpockets. Theft is "inexcusable", but the brutality of hanging pickpockets is the greater crime.

In answer to your first question, why did he drag you through a year of pain, the harsh answer is because you let him. Maybe he's a sadist who just enjoys punishing people. More likely he has unhealthy control needs, and once he found the way to control you and get sex without putting out emotionally, he found his needs were met. Anyway, he seems to have gotten something out of his year with you, at your expense.

A lot of women write questions like yours who are married to losers like this, or considering marrying them, so there is the cold comfort that you saw this person for what he is without getting to the point of marriage.

PS Slick is letting this "wonderful guy" off way too easy. He has more than a trust problem. He is incapable of love if he is unable or unwilling to forgive this incident after a year.

Answer 4

Do not worry about past mistakes. I do not think kissing is a big sin. Be cheerful. Move on. Forget the past. You will find new friends. What fun is there to crave for a person who ignores you, behaves rudely with you. You will definitely find some good friend. He is not the last man on this earth. Think positive. However wonderful he may be; a person who can not understand and forgive other can not be a friend . Move on. Best luck.

Answer 5

hi ,
after looking at u r consiousness i must greet u for u r kindness,
but the thing is u begged him for forgiveness still he ignores u , sleeps but never cared u....
upto now u did a very good thing to win u r lost love for one long year,
u feel that u r guilt but it was over when u asked forgiveness and stayed with him
still he want to leave u ???!!!but u truly sorry and did everything possible to be forgiven.

Now it is u r turn to prove .It would be foolish longing for the one who realy use to his needs.

No one can forget their first love but can make it as a foundation to make a new relation towards bright feature.

what i suggest is conserate on u r career,this may make u r lost love come back or try to get someone who love u not the one u love.this can make a lot of bifference

Answer 6

You didnt ruin your own life, you were honest with him and thats what matters, if he couldnt except the fact that your human and you made a mistake, but tryied to better it, then he is someone you wouldnt want to be with anyway, as for that year of pain , like many other people he was probably trying to get back at you by making you miserable, and you should be glad that someone like that is out of your life, but for now all you can do is move forward.

Answer 7

You didn't ruin your life this is just a speed bump. First off it was only a kiss. Yes only a kiss. Telling him was not a smart move and don't give me that we will always have that lie between us crap. Get over that crap and move on from it. You knew in the beginning he was possesive so telling him was not one of your smartest moments. All things will past. Find a place you feel comfortable and with friends and it will be alright.

Answer 8

Triple H, i locate him a boring wrestler who needs to get out of the business enterprise, he doesnt have many strikes both lower than cena he only married stef for 12 titles, he needs to be a midcarder, he takes the call from better awesome wrestlers like area or randy orton, he became better as a heel yet i purely dont like him all round as a heel or face, he's likewise rude to different wrestlers contained in the decrease back and hates better wrestlers than him randy and area, he loves vince and if he didnt do stef he can be a washed up no one

Answer 9

i can tell youve from experience that some people are like that i did a similar thing and the girl i was with let me pay for our phone bills and stuff like that making everything seem ok but then the first oppurtunity she got poof gone they do it as a form of revenge but the thing you have to remember is
(and im serious cause everytime i say it it makes me feel better) you cheated on them because your just that hot so dont feel bad there will be plenty of others not for them because obviously he couldnt keep you happy.So what does that say about them

Answer 10

your life is not ruined. just a little messed up. he did what he did to hurt you. even though what you did rates very low on the cheating scale. He felt that you made a fool of him because he wasn;t there. so when you moved to be with him, he figured it was payback time. Get on with your life. your heart will heal if it was true love.